Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Truth time

I was tagged by Suisan to tell 5 truth's so here goes:

1. I'm getting scarily lonely. I'm the only one in the house except for the cat and since I'm unemployed at the moment - but working on it, I have no one to talk to all day. I can go an entire day or longer without hearing the sound of another human voice unless it's on the television and it's terrifying. I'm a people who needs people.

2. I miss sex. Boy am I starting to miss sex! As one can gather, we weren't very adventuresome in that area of our married life, more on Ron's part than mine. I was willing to try all kinds of things but he wasn't. I kept offering to tie him up or vice versa but he always thought I was kidding. I wasn't. (and now that tells you something else :) )But when you have a steady partner for 30 years and then it's gone - well - it's something you don't realize until you don't have it anymore how important a part of your life it is.

3. I used to be a lot more judgemental of people. I would meet them and make snap decisions (and often I was wrong about that person and had to revise my thinking) but getting to know people online without the benefit of face to face contact has made me sit back and wait before deciding on someone.

4. Like Suisan, I am a Christian and I am saddened by the anger that inspires in so many people. Yet at the same time, I think many so called Christians have brought it on themselves with their intollerant judgemental "I'm somehow better than you because" attitude, so while I'm sad at the anger, I can understand it. I just would like to say we aren't all like that and just like so many of different groups, don't paint us all with the same brush. I couldn't have gotten through what I have without my faith.

5. I hate politicians (Suisan excluded of course) I hate them with every fibre of my being. I always vote but at times it seems pointless because even if they start out with the best of intentions, I just know that corruption is sure to follow.

Whoa - that was scary!

Now - whom shall I tag

Cindy, Devonna, Tara, Renee, Nicole

'til later

21 comments:

Rosie said...

Kristie...I wish I could hug you for real and in person!! Honestly, I have to say reading your blog and comments you make on others that I'm amazed, awed and admire you so much for taking a writing class, pursuing a new job and dealing with all the things that are new and scary since Ron passed away.

Just like what you wrote today. You put yourself out there. (((hugs)))

Nicole said...

*hugs*

I understand what you mean about not being around people. Have you thought about heading to a coffee shop everyday and perhaps just reading or writing? You'd be around people, but wouldn't necessarily have to interact with them. I know for me, sometimes just being around people makes me feel better.

Zeek said...

I'm a people person too and I understand the need to just hear another voice! (((HUGS!)))

My Christian faith is very important to me too and unfortunately have learned to keep it low key on my blog (and my political leanings as well) because all it seems to do is casue people to make snap decisions about me. I just decided I'm not going there anymore ....

Suisan said...

It's good to know that at least one politician is getting a little love. :-)

Thanks for participating--you are a very strong and caring woman; I hope you know that about yourself.

What's weird for me is that I am a public figure. So if I refer to my own faith at all (which I generally don't do), most people assume I'm lying about my motivations. Because all polticians who talk this way generally are. Or they're using their faith to get votes. Yuck.

So I'm kind of left not really knowing how to interpret various issues. I have ever used the lens of Christianity to help me make a decision, but I'd never say out loud that I did that. So isn't that lying by omission? Too convoluted for my poor little head.

Take care of yourself, Kristie. I like Nicole's idea of going where there are people, just to keep those synapses firing.

The Book Girl, A.K.A. Jodi said...

Kristie, I think you are at a crossroads too, and soon there is going to be a big shining light of happiness for you. :)

Kyahgirl said...

Kristie, those are painful truths, I can feel them from here. Sending some big cyber hugs your way too.

I hope things come together soon on the job front. There's always volunteering in the community as a way to get out to see people too. I don't know if that works for you.

take care,
Laura

nath said...

Big, big, big hugs to you Kristie.

Bookwormom said...

I vote with Nicole. Sometimes being in a public place with people all around is enough. Kristie, your introspection at such a vulnerable time in your life surprises me and warms my heart. Hugs to you!

nath said...

to complete nicole and bookwormom, perhaps going to coffee shops would give you inspiration for your writing too :P (one stone two birds)

Mailyn said...

I'd love to be able to meet with you offline but, alas, it's always that we meet the coolest people we click with online. *hugs*

Re:sex...let's so not go there. I need to get laid!!!! LOL.

Politicians yeps, they suck the big one.

Christians, I can't judge a group by the stupidity of some of the people in said group, except with politicians because they are eeeeevil. LOL.

That was so cool of you to come out and say all that! :-)

Jenster said...

I haven't been reading your blog for very long, but I'm very touched by what you shared today. Your #4 really struck a chord with me. It seems to me the majority of Christians in the public give the rest of us a bad name.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Jen

Lori said...

(((hugs))) Kristie, I can't tell you how much I am in awe of you and admire you, not just sonce Ron's passing, but for how strong you were while he was so sick as well.

My mom would totally agree with your #1 truth. She says that's been the hardest for her since my dad passed away also. She has handled it by joining a bunch of groups - cards, book club, a women's group through our temple, a women's group theough her university... each one only meets once or twice a month, but altogether she's got lots of people around at least a couple days a week.

Is there a women's group through your church? Or where you're taking your writing class?

As for #2, wasn't there that guy trying to pick you up at the mall? (all right people, I'm just kidding!!!)

Hang in there!

(Now I'm praying blogger won't eat my comment this time! Rewriting it was the pits.)

Devonna said...

Wow ~ Kristie, I like everyone else here just love your blog. I enjoy your stories and you have a way of drawing people in with your writing. You are an awesome storyteller! As far as #2 ~ my last relationship was almost 8 years ago. I just say I'm refurbished.

Kristie (J) said...

Rosie: Some days it seems like a real struggle not to fall into self-pity. It's just waiting there for me. And I'm certainly human enough to fall into it from time to time but then I think that Ron wouldn't be pleased if I did so I pull myself out.

Nicole: I do go to the mall a couple of times a week and eat lunch there, but as Lori remembers, a guy tried to pick me up there a couple of times so I always have one eye on a book and one eye looking out for him :)

Zeek: I know what you are saying about not saying much about your beliefs on your blog. Although it's an intrinsic part of me, it's much more on how I live. And I'm really and truly just the same as people of any other faith.

Suisan: I know - politicians (and I'm not singling anyone out but I do have a few in mind) who use their religion to garner votes - well I wouldn't vote for them for that very reason!! I think it's despicable.

Jodi: Yes I think I am too. I'm not sure what's going to happen but I guess I'll just have to keep all the windows and doors open.

Kyahgirl: I've thought about volunteering but I'm not sure at what. I don't have the patience for kids anymore and I'm not sure about older people. Plus, I like making money :) I was a SAHM when my kids were small, but I've been working except for a short while when I went back to school, now for probably 18 years and I really miss earning my own money. But volunteering (once I figure out where) might be the way to go until I am back working again.

Nath: Thank you

Amanda: I do get out a few times a week - lunch at the mall, getting together with friends ect. but it's the days I don't have anything planned that seem so long sometimes!

Nath: I probably will write about the guy who tried to pick me up when the opportunity comes up :)

Mailyn: I wish I could meet you too and everyone else. And getting laid *g*. I'm not sure reading steamy novels helps or hurts :)

Jenster: I see what some Christians do in the name of religion and it makes me cringe. Quite a while ago now I saw some pictures that Monica posted quite some time ago now and it sickened me what these people were doing, and even more disgusting they involved their children in a campaign of hatred. It was truly evil.

Lori: It's hard some days. I do get out sometimes, but it's still not the same as having someone you can come home to at the end of the day and talk to or just look over at and know you aren't alone.
And good memory :) I haven't seen him in quite a while though thank goodness.

Devonna: Refurbished - I like that! Well, not that I like that you are. It's just the term is funny :) I could say I'm pre-owned.

CindyS said...

Okay, this idea is way out there. Since you are in a university town would you consider renting a room to an older woman (late 20s) doing her doctorate or something?

When my mind has gone to the scary place of life without Bob I immediately think I would have to have a few people come and live with me. Just singles like me. Noise to keep me active. Doesn't have to be long term but just a hum - knowing you could knock on someone's door and talk for a few minutes.

I won't touch anything else right now ;)

Cindy

Rene Lyons said...

((((hugs))))

Just wanted to stop by and give you some hugs.

I hate politicians too. I also miss sex...my husband works two jobs and is never home. ;)

Love ya, Kristie.

Tara Marie said...

I can't imagine rattling around my house with just cat. My thoughts and prayers are with you everyday.

My sister started doing volunteer work when she was laid off from work. A couple times a week she works in the United Way office locally. It's a thought.

Hugs and love, Tara

Megan Frampton said...

Kristie:

Thanks for sharing your meme. I like the coffee shop idea, or volunteering somewhere--how about a literacy program? And I bet I know which book you'd suggest they read!

Devon said...

*Hugs*, Kristie.

I'm thinking of you.

Kris said...

**Big Hugs** You are in my thoughts and prayers. :) Keep smiling.

Kristie (J) said...

Cindy: I've actually thought of that but I'm not sure if I'm ready to share my space yet. I still have unresolved issues with the two back bedrooms. It would mean packing things away and I'm not ready to do that yet.

Rene: Awww thank you!!!

Megan: I mentioned volunteering to the grief counselor I meet with. She said for many kinds of volunteer work, the kind I'm interested in doing, they want you to wait a year until all your own issues are resolved and it's not so new, but she is going to look into another kind of volunteer work for me.

Devon & Kris: thank you. I am still able to laugh. Thank heavens that's how I learned from my parents how laughter can get you through tough times.