Monday, October 16, 2006

After visiting Cindy twice now, she and Bob came to London to visit me! I don't know about her and Bob, but I had a great time. And this time we got a chance to check out our local Chapters! And we even *surprise suprise* bought a few books each. They didn't stay too long as I had my creative writing course tonight. That's what this post is really about.
Tonight we discussed writing dialogue. As usual I learned quite a bit. But the teacher had us do an exercise that threw me. She wanted us to write speaking traits of someone close to us, someone we talked to all the time. And as I thought about it, it dawned on me that since I lost Ron, I didn't have anyone to write about. I don't talk to someone on a day to day basis anymore. My sons each call me once or twice a week and I speak to Lisa 3 or 4 times a week. But that's about it. I'm still not working so I don't have any coworkers. I talk to Ron's mom once a week but they are always very brief conversations. I talk to a neighbour a few times a week when we get together for walks or Survivor night. And I meet with a grief councelor once a week. And I have a few friends I talk and meet with on a semi-regular basis. But that's it! There is no one I talk to every day. So then I just doodled for the remainder of the alloted time and tried very hard not to cry. Luckily I didn't. But then she went around the class and wanted us to read what we wrote. When it was my turn, I said I didn't do it and didn't give any further explanation. Thankfully after looking at me a bit strangely she let it go. If I had had to tell her why, I would have had to leave the room in tears.

That's why this blog and everyone I have met through it is so important to me. Although I don't talk to everyone in the normal sense of the word, I still feel connected to people on a daily basis. But it's talking through writing, not through speaking. In a way it's even better. I don't have the barrier of shyness that holds me back quite a bit. I can really be free and be myself. So I guess this is a thank you to everyone for being out there. I know that even though I don't talk to anyone on a regular basis, I still "talk" to a lot of wonderful people.


Dance Chica said...

Though my situation is different, I can really understand what you mean. As you probably already know through my blogs, I'm bipolar and sometimes suffer through really bad depression which leaves me feeling isolated. Having the blogs, and the people I've met through them really helps me too. Even though I don't actually "talk" with anyone or "see" anyone, it does help and I'm grateful all the time that I've "met" the wonderful people that I have, including you. :-)

CindyS said...

I glad that the teacher didn't push you. I love that we get to 'see' each other in real life and can still be our 'blog selves' also. We're really just the same people as in real life, we just can't hear the voice or see the person.

I think kindness and respect and friendship can really shine through in the way people write. I never thought that before I 'met' some interesting people on the internet. I realized that just like in real life, there are people on the net I just don't want to hang with.

I know that every person I communicate with on the net would be a wonderful person to meet in real life. Just like dance chica, some of us have broken bits that let us soar in this kind of community and yeah, once your shyness wears off I see the Kristie I've known for more than a year now.

Hope you are feeling better. Bad Class.


Bookwormom said...

Hugs, Kristie. IT seems that it is often the unexpected that catches unawares.

Mina Wolf said...

Some of my best friends were found online. To be honest, there are some things strangers can help you with that even loved ones can't. And the strangers that come here all care for you as well.

Jenster said...

It's funny how something that starts out so anonymous can turn into such help and healing. You start out sharing things that you maybe wouldn't share face to face, and the next thing you know you've developed these incredible friendships that are as valuable in their own way as any therapy could ever be.

Great blog, Kristie


ag said...

I think your personality does come through your writing, and it gives me a sense of who you are, through the things that move you to express yourself. So, please, please keep on 'talking'.

Megan Frampton said...


I feel the same way, esp. with the shyness thing.

But if they ask again--I have a kinda nasal voice, very Northeast accent, and I sound like a cross between a schoolteacher and an 80s California surfer (I use 'dude' a lot), and I've got a very dry delivery.

Megan Frampton said...
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Mailyn said...

I second DC on what she said. I know our situations are different and I do wish we lived closer because you wouldn't get me out of your house. I only trully connect with people I like a lot and that's the people I "know" online. I don't have or talk to anyone either but I feel grateful for all my online friends.

Just know that we are here for you and just think, there is always bound to be someone online when you are on! :-)

Have you thought about getting IM? I know there is one where you can talk to people with a microphone.

I'm glad the teacher was classy enough not to ask any questions.

The Book Girl, A.K.A. Jodi said...
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