Sunday, December 09, 2007

The times, they are a changin'

I’ve been meaning to post about this for a couple of weeks now but time got away from me.
A few weeks ago three other women from work and I decided to go out drinking on a Saturday night. And I mean drinking like I used to go drinking years and years ago, not for one or two at a restaurant with a friend or two. I mean hard core drinking at a BAR. We had thought that more might come, but it being the time of year it is, only the four of us could make it. First shock for me after a VERY LONG absence was the time. Now back in my day, we would hit the bars about 7:30. By eight o’clock they were full and line-ups had started. In this new age, I gather you don’t even get started until around 10:00. We planned to get there about 9:00. I invited them all over before hand and then take a cab to the bar. Everyone arrived around 7:30. A (I’ll call her A) brought over shots for everyone. R (I’ll call her R) brought wine and I had got a number of other alcoholic beverages. We partook of them before we left so we were already in fine shape by the time we got to the bar. The taxi cab ride was most enjoyable.
When we got to the bar, it was empty. And it was after 9:00. I kept asking those more experienced if it would get busy and they assured me it would. It did seem strange to me. But as we began drinking, it did indeed slowly start to fill up.
Now this is where I got my HUGE shock of the night. And I’m still sort of in mourning over the differences between now and – dare I say – 25 or so years ago. You see – guys don’t come and ask you to dance!!! Can you imagine that? That’s how I met Ron! I asked the A, the most well-informed member of our group if this was how it was these days and she gave me a yep.
Nevertheless, I did dance – with the bunch I went with – and it was all fast songs of course. But at one point I had to go use their facilities and I had to walk by the dance floor. I noticed all these guys standing around with a drink in their hands watching the women – and that’s mostly who was up dancing – dancing. I tell you it gave me a real case of the willies – like we were on display at a cattle market or something. I didn’t dance after that.
But still we had loads of fun! A won a draw they had – it was retro 80’s night and I’m so an 80’s kind of girl. The prize was $50 worth of booze that had to be used that night so it was more shooters for everyone!!. We had a grand old time discussing all kinds of things we wouldn’t discuss while at work. We finally left at 12:00 which I gather is quite early. Another difference from my salad days. Back then the bars closed at 1:00 so midnight was close to last call. We went back to my place for a final drink before everyone headed home. One other good thing about the night was no hangover the next day. I have no idea how I escaped that curse as I was quite mixing my drinks but I was quite glad.
The real fun part though came the next week when I was talking to Ryan the next week. See he had spent the weekend in NYC at a rugby tournament. The conversation went something like this:

Me: So, did you get drunk Saturday night?
Ryan: Oh yea, falling down
Me: I did too (in a delighted tone)
Ryan: What???
Me: Got drunk, yep – we had a great time
Ryan: Who??
Me: Me and some girls from work
Note: sometimes he’s not the most the most talkative sort
Ryan: Where?
Me: (I named the bar)
Ryan (in a most horrified gasp) What?!?!?!
Me: yep
Ryan: I’ve been there. (a moment of silence) The crowd is a bit older than me but you better not go there again!
Me: Why not? (and really starting to enjoy the conversation)
Ryan: Because I might run into you!!! (still sounding horrified)
Me: So? Then you could ask me to dance and I wouldn't have to just dance with other women.
Sounds of horror coming through the telephone wires and I’m shaking with quiet laughter
Ryan: garbled sounds
Me: Well? What do you think?
Ryan: (finally able to talk) And besides, you’re too old
Me: I am not!! I think we will probably do it again. And I think we might check out other bars. Maybe I’ll run into you sometime

Now I’ve scared my son straight

But still my final question. When did things change so much?


KT Grant said...

SO cute and funny! You and Ryan should watch North and South together ;)

Misty G said...

I'm not sure when things changed either. My bar days were the early and mid 90's, and believe me when I say, I used my time well.

I've been going to country bars, where the men still ask the women to dance.

I try to stay clear of the more popular bars because sister has a 21 year old daughter who I just know I will one day run in to when I do go out with the girls from work. I'm not relishing that thought. It's one of those things where I don't want to know what she does because I've done what she

lisabea said...

You go, girl.
Which really makes me sound like a 'tard. But the sentiment is heartfelt.

Kristie (J) said...

Lisbea - it is so fun to wind him up. He takes everything I say at face value and that just cracks me up.

Misty: I couldn't get over how different it was. I've heard it's different at Country bars but since A is more of a goth girl - it cracks us up to think of her in a country bar - and so far she's refusing to go :)

Katie: LOL - I don't think if I tied Ryan down and taped his eyelids open he would still watch a movie his mother loves

sula said...

Yeah, I honestly don't see the fun in going out to bars anymore. I'm already sleepy by the time things get started. Then there is the noise and the smoke (at least around this town). The lame dancing scene in which all of the guys stand back and watch the girls perform for them...ugh ugh ugh. There is always one guy who tries to get in the middle of the girl group and makes an ass out of himself. pfft. As for country bars, I would rather gouge my ears out with a hot poker than willingly listen to country music, so that's out too.

lol. But that's funny how your son reacted. Shock horror!

CindyS said...

It was very much like that when I hit the scene in 1988. Maybe watching men disco dance set the entire male population on 'never ever dance' mode. My hubby will get up with me but very few men dance today. My brother says he would have to be roaring drunk and I have yet to see it happen. Getting my Dad up to dance is almost impossible but I always hit him up for a slow dance. Poor guy feels the need to talk all through the song.

I think if a man marries a woman who isn't afraid to get on the dance floor then he will become a dancer - not a good one but he'll get up there. Was at a wedding and a guy I knew from childhood has a smoking hot wife (and she's sweet too) and when the dance floor lit up she was gone. He didn't even wait - he got up right behind her!

On that note, I've always said, I have no interest in a guy who won't take a turn on the dance floor with me.

And (I'm chatty tonight) the older woman like my mom and her best friend just sit and watch us younguns and can't figure out why us woman are all dancing together. We have never known it any other way.

My mother asked me later what the dance was that we were all doing where we were pointing at each other. I realized she thought all the woman were doing a dance step when in fact we all knew the words to the show and would act like we were singing them.

I'm thinking we must look like huge goof balls but I stopped caring long ago. Go have your fun and one day someone will see you and think 'hey, now there is a woman I would like to get to know better'. Or in Bob's case 'hey, there's a woman over there having a stroke - I must go help her!' ;)

I'm glad you had a great night out! So bars stay open later now?

Yep. I would be terribly lame with my early in and early out routine ;)

Glad you didn't have a hangover. When I used to throw back I was blessed in not having hangovers. I stopped drinking because it was bloody expensive (I was poor and now I'm cheap) to get a light buzz and then end up getting up every half an hour to pee after going to bed.

AND, I'm wrapping up, really. Does Ryan have any new gray hairs? You are going to give your poor guy a stroke ;)


Jace said...


My son's only 13, but I can't wait to scare him good! *cackles*

Kristie (J) said...

Jace: love him I do, oh so much but he does have a bit of superiority complex when it comes to me. He was much closer to his dad so he really doesn't know me as well. So it's ever so much fun to prick his balloon.
Brent on the other hand, is much more like me and can see when I'm pulling his leg. If I said the same thing to him - about running into him in a bar and having him dance with me -he'd say sure, when - knowing neither one of us was serious.

Cindy: *g* at the moment he doesn't have much of any hair. He keeps it cut real short - which in a way is a riot. See - if it was up to me, I'd like him to have long hair - what can I say - I'm a product of my time. So while parents were disparaging over the long hair their sons insisted on when I was young, I'm disparaging that both of them keep their hair so short. So I don't know if I've given him gray hairs or not - LOL. I'm doing my best though - turnabout being fair play and all that.

Sula: at least we didn't have smoke to battle - it's against the law in all public places. But I think I mourn for all the young women. Sounds silly I know, but when I was young, that's how I met Ron. I was sitting there listening to music when this real cute guy came up and asked me to dance. I went into full-throttle lust and all the years after that, I knew he didn't care that much for dancing, but he would for me. That's something young women will never feel the thrill of today. Instead - they will dance with each other and have men with alcohol in their hands watch them - I really think that's so sad and disturbing.