Monday, August 10, 2009

A Spam Story

I haven’t cleaned out my junk mail for a while. When I looked at it all, I realized something.

By golly gosh there, is a story in there.

Did you know that “Faith Holford was attacked by dogs”? If she had to take medication however, she could “free herself of all illness with our drugs offered by Christian Harvey”. Though she better be quick, the sale is about to end at NewPharmacydotcom”. For overall health, she can “join Desmond Newton and the millions who use Acai Berry.” If she didn’t choose that route though, she could “claim her degree from Rosalind Garland”. And if that wasn’t exciting enough, “Stan Baraja is offering up Bachelor Degrees!” But before finding work with her new ‘degree’ and while still struggling with money, she needn’t have worried. She could claim some “affordable watches from Eli Villa” so she would know what time to go to work. And since she is looking for work now, “Willie Baraja (wonder if he’s related to Stan?) has a job as a MS Secret Shopper where she could make $700 a week”. Doesn’t that sound grand?

Now on the love scene situation, things aren’t so good. You see, her other half – Bob – Bob the beau, has ‘problems’ “Wanda Hamlin could help him get his instrument bigger then ever” and then the Viagra Official Site would offer 75% off” and “ “really satisfy the hot chicks” Won’t Faith be happy?

Or maybe he just needs a new watch! According to “Amando Mccellan, every macho should have a cool watch”

In my own case, “Elba Mayes wants me to take a chance to show off in a bikini”. Melba, I’m thinking no. Although……. “Norberto Herrington says Acai Elite burns fat at the speed of light” That is pretty fast isn’t it? I wonder if it’s anything to do with the Acai Berry that promises overall health. Must be a wonder cure!

And “Randal Hqory wants the name of the book”. I wonder which one he means. I do have a goodly number of them. “J.M.C Loan Int'l is offering me a loan application”. I think I’d rather trust my bank though. I’ve been with them for over 20 years. “Wava Geffre is offering more options for users”. As to users of what I don’t have a clue however. And “Gedye Marlo has a message delivery”. But once again I don’t know what kind of message that might be. “Siu Rebelo wants no chats, just conversation”. I’m thinking he or she must be a deep thinker. And I wasn’t aware that I had really been away anywhere, but “James Groby wonders where did I go”.

Well, I’ve had fun with my Spam Story – but at 42 messages, I do think it’s time to do a group delete.


Cecile said...

A woman of wisdom!!!! That was hiliarous!! I am glad that you found how to make spam constructive!!!! Priceless is another word!!!
Hope you had a great day and have a wonderful tomorrow!!

nath said...

LOL... at least, you found something useful to do with your spam messages! :P

Kristie (J) said...

Cecile: *g* for a change I was actually saving them - but then they were all starting to get repetitive. And for a change, I didn't get any in this batch wanting to improve the length of my dick. *sigh* And just when I was hoping for one too.

Nath: It's kind of like when I get the hiccups sometimes. When they won't go away, I try to say "Ribbit" in the middle of every hiccup. Just when I'm almost not minding - the hiccups stop!!
Of course I'm usually alone when I pull that trick.

LeslieJane said...

Love the "story" Now I will look at my SPAM in a new way. Thanks for the idea.

Kristie (J) said...

LeslieJane: Hello!! And Welcome!! Spam - it's something we all get and something we all hate isn't it? I first got the idea when I saw one that someone named Faith Halford was attacked by dogs. What kind of silly thing is that to spam people about. I was tempted to open it - but I never open spam mail unless it's from someone I KNOW I KNOW 'cause it's like a disease. But I thought -By Jove - I'm going to 'OUT' these STUPID spammers!

Leontine said...

I told me a spam story once too. I loved yours Kristie and its very recognizable :D Wasn't there an uncle too with like a gizillion for you to inherit? I had me those too.

Thanks for the laughter at lunch Kristie (((hugs)))

Mary G said...

Kristie - you are so funny. That was great. For the longest time all the spam I got was for either erectile dysfunction or watches. I think it's because people who aren't getting any have time to clockwatch.

SarahT said...

Great idea, Kristie!

I'm sure I could come up with an interesting story based on silly Twitter spam alone. My e-mail spam is boring in comparison.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!! August 11 19**. Love Deb

orannia said...

LOL Kristie! Very nicely done! I'm currently receiving Acai Berry emails....GRRRR! Not as funny as the 'size email' :)

azteclady said...

Kristie, didja get it? didja, huh, didja?????

(I hate waiting, could you tell?)

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristie.....excellent job. You should write a book.
Happy Birthday!!
Janice :-)

Cheryl St.John said...

Your Paypal and Bank America accounts have been put on hold until you go check in and reset them!

Kristie (J) said...

Cheryl: And that surprises me that they had the audacity to put them on hold - 'specially since I have an account at neither.