Thursday, May 29, 2008

Summer Movie Suckage Begins!


The official move season has begun, at least for me, this past Memorial Day weekend. I was over the moon that the new Indiana Jones move was coming out! I have had a hard crush on Harrison Ford ever since he played Han Solo (yummy) in the Star Wars trilogy and as Indiana Jones (double yummy). I am a child of the 80’s and if you grew up during this decade, you know what I am talking about with Mr. Ford.

But after reading some reviews about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, especially from my good blogger buddies, who include Ana from Book Smugglers and Stacy from Stacy’s Place on Earth, I was torn. I thought, well I am the ultimate Indy fan and they just don’t understand my need for that sexy, whip-holding, hat wearing… um yeah… so I decided to go see the movie Monday night.

We all know my new favorite phrase is, "WTF?". Well, my second favorite phrase is- "Blows big monkey chunks". Indiana Jones and the… gosh, I really hate the title...


BLEW BIG MONKEY CHUNKS!!

The plot in simple terms: Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls. The year is 1957 and Dr. Jones is being framed. He along with a spunky young man must travel to some dangerous places where no one comes out alive. The Crystal Skull may be something not human and it is up to Indy and his new sidekick, Mutt (spunky young man), to find the answers.

What is up with Harrison Ford? I know the guy is older and near retirement age, but this is not the Indy I has grown to love! Harrison acted like he was sleepwalking through the role. Can we say zombie? There was no trademark Indy wit or one-liners I was so use to hearing. He looked so bored and I came to the conclusion in the first five minutes that this would be a major bomb. And you would think with such Oscar winning power with Cate Blanchett as a villain, she would be so evil and diabolical that she would put all other past Indy villains to shame? Not here!! It was like Speilberg asked Cate to forget everything she has ever learned about acting that has made her into the thespian she is and throw all that out the window for his movie. She was annoying and such a cartoon character that I was hoping she would fall into quicksand.

There are some other well known actors that pop up that act are just as bad as the rest, One such character is a surprise from Indy’s past who is somewhat of a welcome relief to this snore fest. As for Shia LeBeouf, he is a cute kid and has potential. I feel Speilberg is grooming him much like Leonardo DiCaprio is from Scorsese. Shia did bring some life into certain scenes, but overall not even his cutesy antics could save this train wreck of a movie.

I also expected E.T. to come out of the Amazon jungle looking to phone home. Yup, Indy and his crew along with the evil Russians (it is the 1950’s after all) are on the search for aliens.

In a nut shell that is my review. Sorry, it is a bit scathing but I am mourning the loss of a great character and a trilogy that took over a whole decade and set the standard for a blockbuster. This is a slap in the face to the fans, like myself.

2 Big Blows Monkey Chunks thumbs down. Wait for DVD, better yet cable.

My next movie adventure is going to be Sex and the City. I shudder to think how that will play out on screen.
Katiebabs (KB)

18 comments:

MaryKate said...

I've described it over and over again as "Meh."

Katie(babs) said...

WTF, Monkey Chunks and now another word I like- "meh" :D
meh meh meh...

LeeAnn said...

Bummer! I think I'll be waiting till it comes out on DVD :o(

Zeek said...

add mine to the list of "meh" reviews.

I was disappointed too.

azteclady said...

Well, crud.

:(

A friend told me she's taking me to see it this weekend--after ages of not seeing any movie in the theater I was all excited but now...

Wonder how I can get out of it?

ciaralira said...

I saw it last night, and once I dug back into my memory and saw the bad guy sticking his hand into another dude's chest to pull out his still beating heart and remembered how campy the first three Indy films were, I let myself go and just enjoyed it. The movie was Ridiculously Silly, but if one accepts that then it was really kinda cute. I heart Shia leBouf. I can't believe he's younger than me. And Indy, my first heartthrob, is terribly ancient. I feel old.

ciaralira said...

the heart thing is from the 2nd movie. And in the first - remember all those terrible special effect ghosts that fly out of the Arc and kill all the Nazis? And in the 3rd where Indy AND his dad sleep with the crazy nazi chick and then the bad guy drinks from the grail and the silly special effects when he melts? It's been supernatural powers and silliness from the beginning. But still good fun.

MaryKate said...

I will say this though, Harrison Ford is still pretty yummy. Granted, he's a little arthritic and runs like an old guy, but he still rocks the hat pretty well.

Katie(babs) said...

MK: the sweaty shirt thing along with the hat sent a little tingle down my spine. :D

Maybe I should watch some Star Wars... Han.. growl...

Stacy~ said...

"Meh" would be better compared to how I thought of it. Definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and I've seen some real doozies.

Carolyn Jean said...

Indy, say it ain't so!
Han Solo is still ALL MINE!

LorelieLong said...

On Memorial Day, I gave my kids the option of either Ironman or Indiana Jones. I now count myself pretty lucky they picked Ironman, 'cause that was da bomb.

lisabea said...

Ooh my BigGirl said BADBADBAD...and my momma did too. So no Indy lurvin for this girl. He can stay in CJ's hut. Wait. Is he in CJ's hut?

Christine said...

Oh well. I can't afford the movie ticket, the baby sitter AND the gas to get there, anyway.

Tracy said...

Indy is MINE! Bwahahahaha! And he IS yummy!

It sucks that it's meh, WTF and Sucks Monkey butt. I guess I won't be seeing it anytime soon. I'll wait for the dvd!

Katie(babs) said...

Tracy, maybe you can breath some life back into Indy. :(

*sneaks into CJ's hut for Han and throws Michael over her shoulder. She disappears to the deep island forest like a puff of smoke, not to be seen for 40 days of intense sexual nirvana and drinking coconuts till she bursts*

kmont said...

I somehow just knew it, I just KNEW it blew big monkey chunks. I won't be watching it in the theaters or on DVD. Nope, no, no and no. If the hubby wants to, fine, but my nose will be in a book. Just like his Alien vs. Predator marathons.

But I kinda heart Shia too. And I'll get in line to claim Solo. And I don't mean the cups. ;) Chewy likes me anywayz. He's got my back. Yep, big carpet, right there. Top that.

Kristie (J) said...

Alas - I'm not sure I have a choice on this one. To celebrate (sister) Lisa's birthday, we are going for dinner and a movie - her pick. And she wants to see this one. I could try and gently steer her away - but I don't think that would work. I think it would just make her dig in her heels harder. I just hope when my turn comes up - there is a good movie out that I want to see.