Showing posts with label Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull movie review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull movie review. Show all posts

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Summer Movie Suckage Begins!


The official move season has begun, at least for me, this past Memorial Day weekend. I was over the moon that the new Indiana Jones move was coming out! I have had a hard crush on Harrison Ford ever since he played Han Solo (yummy) in the Star Wars trilogy and as Indiana Jones (double yummy). I am a child of the 80’s and if you grew up during this decade, you know what I am talking about with Mr. Ford.

But after reading some reviews about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, especially from my good blogger buddies, who include Ana from Book Smugglers and Stacy from Stacy’s Place on Earth, I was torn. I thought, well I am the ultimate Indy fan and they just don’t understand my need for that sexy, whip-holding, hat wearing… um yeah… so I decided to go see the movie Monday night.

We all know my new favorite phrase is, "WTF?". Well, my second favorite phrase is- "Blows big monkey chunks". Indiana Jones and the… gosh, I really hate the title...


BLEW BIG MONKEY CHUNKS!!

The plot in simple terms: Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls. The year is 1957 and Dr. Jones is being framed. He along with a spunky young man must travel to some dangerous places where no one comes out alive. The Crystal Skull may be something not human and it is up to Indy and his new sidekick, Mutt (spunky young man), to find the answers.

What is up with Harrison Ford? I know the guy is older and near retirement age, but this is not the Indy I has grown to love! Harrison acted like he was sleepwalking through the role. Can we say zombie? There was no trademark Indy wit or one-liners I was so use to hearing. He looked so bored and I came to the conclusion in the first five minutes that this would be a major bomb. And you would think with such Oscar winning power with Cate Blanchett as a villain, she would be so evil and diabolical that she would put all other past Indy villains to shame? Not here!! It was like Speilberg asked Cate to forget everything she has ever learned about acting that has made her into the thespian she is and throw all that out the window for his movie. She was annoying and such a cartoon character that I was hoping she would fall into quicksand.

There are some other well known actors that pop up that act are just as bad as the rest, One such character is a surprise from Indy’s past who is somewhat of a welcome relief to this snore fest. As for Shia LeBeouf, he is a cute kid and has potential. I feel Speilberg is grooming him much like Leonardo DiCaprio is from Scorsese. Shia did bring some life into certain scenes, but overall not even his cutesy antics could save this train wreck of a movie.

I also expected E.T. to come out of the Amazon jungle looking to phone home. Yup, Indy and his crew along with the evil Russians (it is the 1950’s after all) are on the search for aliens.

In a nut shell that is my review. Sorry, it is a bit scathing but I am mourning the loss of a great character and a trilogy that took over a whole decade and set the standard for a blockbuster. This is a slap in the face to the fans, like myself.

2 Big Blows Monkey Chunks thumbs down. Wait for DVD, better yet cable.

My next movie adventure is going to be Sex and the City. I shudder to think how that will play out on screen.
Katiebabs (KB)