Sunday, July 06, 2008

Sam's Creed Book Review... warning this one gets a bit scandalous!

I have never been a big fan of western romance in particular, but ever since Sarah McCarty came on the scene with her erotic and perhaps scandalous westerns, I have been hooked. I started reading Sarah’s books during her Ellora’s Cave days and I have a complete set in her Promise Series. So, when Sam’s Creed came out a few weeks ago, I just had to get it. And let me tell you, some of the sex scenes are so very creatively written that I had to re-read some a few times to get the full understanding about what is happening between Sam, our sexy Texas Ranger, and Isabella, the spunky heroine who steals his heart. The majority of Sam and Isabella’s shocking loving happens on a horse. One such act that happens from page 210-216 had my head spinning because I couldn’t understand how it was possible. But, I will get to that in a moment.

Sam’s Creed is book two in the Hell’s Eight series about Sam “Wildcard” MacGregor, who was first introduced in Caine’s Reckoning, book one. Sam is part of Hell’s Eight, a group of men who uphold the law as Texas Rangers set in Texas during the mid 1850’s. This is the time of the Wild West where men used their guns proudly to defend their honor. The Hell’s Eight have such a scary reputation that you do not want to mess with any of them and who they lay claim to. Sam is on a mission to find the missing sister of Desi, who is Caine’s wife. Sam does find a woman but she is not the one he is looking for. He and his trusty sidekick dog, Kell, find a group of wagons that were ambushed. He doesn’t think he will find another living soul since the ground is littered with dead bodies. He is wrong, because under one of these wagons, is a young Spanish woman very much alive and one who is very annoyed. Isabella is the last person alive from this wagon train heading to San Antonio where her family home is. She is on the run from Tejala, a nasty man who wants to marry Isabella because of her fortune and her nice ranch spread. Sam, being the man that he is, decides to bring Isabella safely to her family.

Isabella has a lot of sass and doesn’t mine telling Sam the way to do things. She has become one of my favorite McCarty heroines because of this. Isabella is no weeping violet and will defend herself, even against Sam. Sam threatens to beat her butt too many times to could because she doesn’t listen to him and if Isabella wanted to, she would bend over and allow Sam to have his way. Isabella may be a virginal little miss, but she believes the evil Tejala will get his way even with Sam protecting her. She fears she will be raped by Tejala, so, why not give up her innocence to a man like Sam? Sam would love nothing more to introduce Isabelle to sex. Sam just can’t get over the fact that he is not good enough for his Spanish Duchess. Still, this doesn’t stop Sam from giving Isabella some interesting foreplay, which leads to some eye popping love scenes.

If you have read Sarah’s erotic westerns in the past, you know about one such act that Sam introduces Isabella to. I call it, “fun with the butt-butt”, but not only does this intimacy happen out in the wide open desert, but on a horse while it is in motion! Of course there are some other straight forward intimacies that I have enjoyed between these two. The majority of them happen in a cave or as they are camping down for the night. But again, since this is the desert and with that lack of water, well, bathing is not really an option. I would say both Sam and Isabella have been traveling for a few days to a week, but that doesn’t stop Sam and Isabella from having fun, which includes Sam rubbing a certain type of fluid into Isabella’s skin as to mark her as his own.

Overall, I found Sam and Isabella to have nice chemistry and Isabella is a wonderful heroine who stands by her man. I would have liked to see Sam act a bit more alpha, like most of Sarah’s heroes have been in the past, but Sam was quieter and more subdued which seemed to work especially as Sam tries to handle Isabelle. It was nice to see one of Sarah’s heroines take control of the relationship for a change. Sarah also showed that the Wild West is a place where the townspeople don’t always smile and welcome strangers with opens arms. It is a harsh vast wilderness and if two people such as Sam and Isabella can find some sort of happiness, then, more power to them.

I give Sam’s Creed 3 out of 5 stars….

That is not all! Earlier in this post I had mentioned another sex act that starts on page 210 that Isabella and Sam engage in on horse that I could not wrap my mind around. I was so confused by what Isabella does to Sam that I needed advice. About a week ago, I emailed about twenty-five of the smartest and funniest ladies in blog land to help me out. 180 emails later, my initial question started an email conversation, the likes I couldn’t believe!
What you are about to read is very graphic, somewhat shocking and so funny that you may want to put down whatever you are drinking or eating because you may laugh so hard you may just pee your pants. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent, and others didn’t mind at all as I asked permission to post their emails.

Without further ado, I give you the condensed version of, BJ on a Horse:

Katiebabs: I have an interesting question, so maybe you can help me out. I am in the middle of a book where the heroine is riding with the hero on a horse. She is sitting behind him. He is quite large, the manly muscular cowboy type and she is a bit petite. While they are riding along, she decides to relieve some of his tension and give him a blow job. The thing is I have read this scene three times and I can't figure out how it is possible! Even if she put her head under his arm, how can she reach her face around to his crotch and get a good grip on his penis and with her mouth? Can someone explain how this is logistically possible?
Katie R: Honestly, unless she's an acrobat, I don't see how this is possible. She'd definitely have to put her head under his arm, but if she's small and petite, what the hell is she holding onto? They'd have to be riding bareback since it's two of them so it's not as if she could hold onto the saddle horn....yeah, I don't think this could happen.
Ana: It's doable, it's doable .If she grew up as a contortionist on a circus and if his wee (tee hee) is not wee at all, if it is loooooooooooong and if points north, she could contort herself around his waist, lift her bottom, turn her face around sideways, I say it's totally doable.
SB Sarah: Or if she's not human, and instead is made of a flexible protein compound that lets her bend and stretch in any number of ways, like that guy on the X-files who could slither through the mail slots.
DA Jane: So you are saying it’s a Western paranormal with a shape-shifting heroine?
Katiebabs: It is from Sam's Creed by Sarah McCarty. And yup, she decides since Sam was so kind to her the night before, why not give him a helping hand or a nice kiss. Nope, not a western paranormal at all. Straight up erotic western romance.
SB Sarah: Erotic western romance with... bendy girl! I'm seriously still pondering how that would work. I think it might be impossible. Like that one Susan Johnson novel I read where the hero carried the heroine still joined at the naughty bits down a hill into a cold lake, and she had, like, two orgasms on the way there just from the walking bounce. Then another in the cold water. But that was just sexually suspicious. this is just plain anatomically - wait. What if the hero has a giant hole in his abdomen, and she crawled through?
MaryKate: I would think the bite down instinct if jarred would be enough to get the fella to say no. ;o)
Kristie(J): I believe in the cartoon Mr. Gadget, he could extend his neck for quite some distance. They made a real live movie out of the cartoon. While I didn't see the movie, if the heroine had the same kind of ability - it might be possible. Or if she shape shifts to a snake.
DA Jane: Hmm. the shape shifting snake heroine. Sounds really, um, non-erotic.
LisaBea: Well her jaw would dislocate to swallow that thing down. Now that's sexy. Experience? I mean in a CAR across the console is one thing...
Carolyn Jean: I'm going to be the voice of dissent here. I could see it. Assuming, of course, we are not talking gallop here. I have been sitting here imagining it. I have done a scientific thought experiment! Further clarification from my mind: I think that man would have to lean to the side a bit, and aid in the stabilization of his lady as she goes to. Oh, yes! I'm seeing it, cowgirls. I could also see a BJ position riding with both legs on one side of the horse while behind the man. I could see bending around him then.
Jen B: I have done lots of crazy things in lots of crazy positions, but I can honestly say I've never given head to a guy that's sitting in front of me on the back of a horse. I'm totally impressed. I need to read that book, if only to try to draw a diagram as I'm reading the scene.
Shannon M: I have to admit that I am just not seeing how it is possible. Perhaps I have a limited mind. Having only ridden a horse 2 or 3 times, I just imagine her sliding right off the side. Oh, and the whole BJ in a moving car? I just read a book by Shannon McKenna called Extreme Danger in which the heroine finds out her fiancé is cheating on her the day before the wedding because his ex was giving him head in a moving car. They crashed. The ex ended up with a neck injury and the fiancé had a nice set of teeth marks.Of course, this is what sets things in motion for the heroine to meet the hero. Sadly, I could not buy into their relationship. But yes, a cautionary tale about giving BJs in a car.
Katiebabs: Well I am almost done with this book and want to hear another interesting thing that goes on? Sam has this habit after he blows to rub his jizz all over the heroine. This happens a lot and a week later or so, she still hasn't had a bath or nothing. But, hey, Sam enjoys her feminine musk, so who am I to complains? Thoughts?
DA Jane: What? They are in the desert? No creeks? No little water holes to fill the canteen? No cacti to break open to gain access to aloe vera?
Jen B: Well, some women like being marked that way. ;) But not without a bath every day. That would get pretty nasty.
Carolyn Jean: have come across men who think their sperm is really, really precious. Like a gift.
Shannon M: Yeah, that's not a gift I want to be carrying around with me all week.
SB Sarah: OH HOLY MOTHER OF STANK. Is this the new sequel to Oil of Olay Body Wash? Essence of Sam Jizz Lotion?
DA Jane: I have no problem with the marking thing. I just read Jasmine Haynes's Show and Tell (hot) and she spreads it on her chest and that makes her excited BUT there is definitely washing that is going on. There is nothing wrong with a little hygiene.
SB Sarah: I mean, let's be honest: there is nothing better than the hot shower after really fun sex, because you're clean and the water is warm and maybe you're not in there by yourself. (ahem) Cleanliness is very sexy. Fun. And A GOOD THING. Smelling like day old wank is NOT.
Carolyn Jean: Maybe it scares the coyotes away.
DA Jane: Plus, could all that jizz be comfortable? I mean, like a face mask when it tightens as it dries is not very comfortable. Layers and layers of dried jizz? Baked on dried jizz. Desert hot dried jizz? Maybe she could peel it off and eat it. Jizz Jerky.
Holly: I'd think it would be more crispy, like potato chips, no? Mmm, week old jizz potato chips.
Katiebabs: I am so scarred at this moment in time. I will never look at the WISE owl the same way again.
Tracy: Ok - after rubbing his "jizz" as you put it all over her for a week and her not having a bath it wouldn't really be HER feminine musk now wouldn’t it? It would be his. Ok, a mixture of both, but still! Ah the old west! Gotta love it!
Little Alys: Oh, could we stop with jizz jerky? It's a horrid imagine and now I think of glue (like when were kids and use to dry glue on our hands just to peel it off).
DA Jane: It's a human salt crust. When you peel it away, the meat is all juicy and tender underneath. I think it’s the fountain of youth.
SB Sarah: dunno, I think "jizz jerky" might be the new trend in erotic romance.
Agent 69: Mmm, the horse thing. I could see how it would be possible. But, I don't see how it would be a good BJ. Too many variables at work. The horse's gait, the contortionism, etc. If she is small and he's big I guess she could sneak under his arm, but she'd be uncomfortable as hell while doing that, and who wants to read about a BJ where at least one person isn't having fun? Was this the first time she'd done it? Maybe if this was a regular part of her repertoire, with other guys maybe? then she could do a credible job. But the first time? Like I said, doable, but not that enjoyable, unless you're the guy. They seem to like it no matter how inexpertly it's done. Does she deep throat him at all, or just keep it relatively superficial, you know just sucking the head or something? Cause the deep throating is the part that would be really hard I'd think. A lick or two sure, but anything more would be really hard.
DA Jane: I pretty sure you just described how all the cirque de soliel acrobats do it.
Katiebabs: These are very interesting questions I didn't think of. It was her first time and she swallowed it like it was water, probably because she was so thirsty because they haven't bathed in days and were all dusty and the bodily fluids were being rubbed in their skin. I may never eat pudding again.
DA Jane: Oh, so the blowjob was like a medical necessity. Of course, it all makes perfect sense now. She had to do it or they might not live.
Agent 69: Well, if she was that thirsty, I could see it as a life-saving last-ditch maneuver. Pretty much this exchange has ruined pudding for me. And while I wasn't a big jerky fan to begin with, I will never eat it again. Potato chips are now on the iffy list. And I will never call anyone a lard ass again without laughing till I cry.
Kristie(J): This reminds me of a book I read years ago - either Hotel New Hampshire or The Word According to Garp - where the wife is giving another guy a bj in the car in the driveway. The husband drives in the driveway real fast and smacks into the back of the car. The wife's teeth chomp down and bites said instrument right off.

And this says it all:
Jen B: Hotmail just told me I have "sent the maximum number of messages allowed in a 24-hour period". Shit. I'm so pissed. Hotmail just *grounded* me. Sonofabitch.
Katiebabs (KB)


JenB said...

OMB, best blog post ever!! LOLOL

Heather said...

Y'all are too much! that was great *kicks back with a cigarette*

Kristie (J) said...

What Katie didn't mention was that this all happened during a Very Busy Work Day for me and I could only get on twice during the whole day. When I first got on, I think there were already about 40 emails going back and forth and when I got home, there were well well over 100. I think it was closer to 180.
I missed most of the action.
I read her original question at work and my eyes kind of popped. Not a good thing at work if someone walked by asking what was up! Let me tell you - the few times I did get on, I kept my email very, very small.
And *laughing* when Katie emailed me about this post, I said 'go for it, but *um* make sure you give a warning on content.

lisabea said...

I was grounded that day too from sending email. I had to revert to my mommy account. The good news is that I now have GMAIL which is filled with awesome.

Much like KB. DANG it I can't wait to read Sam's Creed but...oh...I'm almost DONE with the wip.

little alys said...

Our 160+ email in one day~~~ This was the day where we broke a record. It was great.

Totally xxx rated, during a work day no less, and it just kept on coming. ;)

Ana said...

LOL, thanks for this Katie, I think that day was when I had the most fun in a long time! Most of my contribution was a bunch of emails saying "eeeeewwww" LOL.

Katie(babs) said...

JenB: Just like the show Best Week Ever?

Heather: Need a lighter?

Kristie: Do you think my warnings were big enough? LOL

LB: I think you will like Sam's Creed. Overall it was a fun and enjoyable read. Neigh! Congrats on the soon to be finished WIP

Alys: Heh heh

Ana: As I set up the condensed emails I almost put a few of your "ewwww" "LOL" "OMG"

Kristie (J) said...

I had a few eeewwww!!!!s too!

MaryKate said...

Good times. Good times.

Jane from DA wins with the jizz jerky thing!

I finished Sam's Creed last week. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but didn't think it quite lived up to Caine's Reckoning, which I just loved. But I think it's because I didn't warm up to Sam quite as much. But I'm looking forward to the next installment, that's for sure!

Anne said...

Okay, so did you like it? Or did you not? It's hard to tell. I enjoyed it very much.

Sarai said...

Great just great sums it all up!

Katie(babs) said...

Anne: Overall I did like the story and Isabella was a great heroine. Some of the sex scenes had me wondering, especially all that riding Isabella does and she is very sore, but that doesn't stop her from trying to jump Sam. LOL

Shannon said...

Dude, I can't walk by the grocery aisle with beef jerky without snickering.

Thank God school had already ended for the year! That was once email exchange that I would NOT have wanted to be caught reading in my classroom. Yikes!

kmont said...

I was eating my banana bread breakfast and almost choked. *snerk*

I couldn't get through the first in this series but am really looking forward to her next Promises book.

That was a great way to start a Monday around bloglandia, ladies. Kudos for that great joint jizz discussion.

sula said...

I can't wait to read this book. S'rsly, I heart Sarah McM. :-)

JenB said...

I had to come back and re-read this today. It's even funnier the second time. :)

Hey, maybe Sarah M could stop by and explain the horseback BJ scene to us.

And I totally missed the part about teh buttsecks on

Amie Stuart said...

Ya'll are HYSTERICAL!!!

Tracy said...

Loved this book! :) Great review!

Julia said...

O....M....G! ::::thuds::::

You guys are very hysterical! I spit my coffee when I read all this LOL

Lori said...

Laughing! I did like this book a lot, but I have to admit I was wondering how sexy I'd feel with my guy's 'jizz' all over me day after day without a bath.

Amie Stuart said...

Dear Ladies,

I respectfully request that you do this on a regular basis.

Katie(babs) said...

Amie: I can conclude you on the emails next time. :D
My goal is to make people laugh so hard they have to run to the bathroom. I am evil like that.

Amie Stuart said...


Gwen said...

Oh holy crap that is FUNNAH!!!

I'd have read this book by now except SYBIL has KIDNAPPED my copy!

But I may never eat chips again. Ick.

Katie(babs) said...

*munch munch* passes the bag to Gwen.

Carolyn Jean said...

This is a great post. How did I miss it? Very hilarious and resourceful of you!!