Saturday, September 23, 2006

I'd Hammer out Danger, I'd Hammer out Warning!!!

To be honest, I'm not so sure I should be posting tonight. I went over to my neighbours to watch some movies and I had 2 beers and 4/4 fingers of Irish Whisky so I might seem a little scrambled. 4/4 you ask??? Well, I apparently had 3/4 of a finger and my neighbour's husband talked me into going for that fourth finger.

Anyway on with the continuing saga of

cue the music

Kristie and Lisa - Bookshelf Assemblers

The last Saturday was a bust as Lisa had been having car "issues" and didn't want to drive the 45 minutes into the big city so Kristie went to visit Lisa. But even though they didn't build or assemble bookshelves last week, that didn't mean that Kristie wasn't working on Project Library. Indeed, she had been haunting Walmart looking for the perfect half shelf bookcases. As previously mentioned, she bought out the Maple line - 3 times. She now had 6 bookshelves ready to assemble. Now in case you haven't picked up on this yet, Kristie is not very good a certain things. Building and assembly is one of them. Anything techie like is another. Before Lisa arrived, Kristie decided to update her Windows. She had been getting this message for quite some time when she turned on her computer to "click on this link to update." She finally decided to go with it this morning. Big mistake!!! She updated fine, but when she rebooted her computer, she lost her internet connection. Now this is a BIG thing for Kristie as she is VERY DEPENDANT on her internet. She NEEDS the connection, the friends she has made online. To be cut off from them is a VERY SERIOUS matter to Kristie. She called her internet provider for help. And thus ensued a conversation that she is sure is going to make it's way onto the 'net sometime as one of those hilarious jokes that everyone laughs at and thinks "can anyone really be that clueless?". Yes, sadly, Kristie IS that clueless.

Cable guy: (anyone who has visited this blog for a while may remember cable guy. This time though, cable guy is someone different without the sense of humour to suggest she break into her neighbours house - the same neighbours who fed her whisky and beer tonight!)
This is "John" how may I help you?

Kristie: Yes, I installed a Windows update and now I can't seem to get onto the internet.

Cable guy: Can you give me your name and address and I'll try and help you.

Kristie gives the information requested

Cable guy: Well, it looks like your connection has become loose or something

Kristie: I don't think that's it. I was on the internet before I updated Windows and I didn't touch anything.

Cable guy: Well, it might have happened. Either that or when you updated Windows, the internet card was damaged. Unhook your cable from the modem and hook it back in again.

At this point panic began to set in for Kristie!

Kristie: I'm not sure what the cable connection is.

Cable guy: It's the black cord.

Kristie feels the sweat begin at the back of her neck and gets down on her hands and knees and begins to look around. She finally spots a black cord and unplugs it, waits a few moments and plugs it back in.

Kristie: But if it's the Network card, what do I do?

Cable guy: If that's what it is, then you will have to take the computer into a service shop as we don't support that kind of thing.

At this moment, the meltdown is beginning.

Cable guy: But let's see if it's something else first. Try disconnecting the black cord, wait 30 seconds and plug it back in.

Kristie: OK, I did that but nothing seems to be happening and the internet still has a black X.

Cable guy: Do you see a green light come on?

Kristie: No, I don't see any lights at the back of this at all. All I see are a bunch of different things going into the back of it.

Cable guy: M'am, I believe you unplugged something on the CPU. I told you to disconnect the black cable on the modem.

Kristie is now entering full panic mode and the meltdown is in full swing.

Kristie: Oh - right. But I don't know where the modem is?!?!?

Cable guy: It's the black box m'am.

Kristie: (looking around) I don't see any black box.

Cable guy: It's the black box with lights on it.

Kristie has melted down completely now. She has no idea what a modem is and the thought of being without her internet connection has completely destroyed her.

Kristie: I don't know what a modem is. I don't understand what you are talking about!! I'm going to have to hang up now because I'm really starting to get upset. I'm going to have to wait until someone else comes over and call you back.

Cable guy (in a soothing tone) : That's fine m'am. You just do that. You have someone else call in a little while.

I swear to all that is holy, that the above story is true!!!

Fortunately for Kristie, besides being the "idea person" of Kristie and Lisa, Lisa's job is a "network administrator" (although if Kristie has this wrong, hopefully Lisa will report in and say what it is she really does) Kristie just knows Lisa works with all kinds of computer stuff and will be able to sort things out. But Kristie is also aware that she sounded and acted like a complete dufus and is just waiting for this conversation which is recorded to appear somewhere and people with laugh and laugh and laugh!

Kristie battled to calm her panic while she waited for Lisa to arrive. She dusted, she vacumed, she listened to Great Big Sea and while she did this, the panic began to recede. Finally Lisa arrived and Kristie tried to explain what had happened just a short while earlier. Lisa raised her eyebrow, went into the computer room, turned on the computer and within 5 minutes solved the problem. Kristie kissed Lisa on the cheek. Now they were ready for the real task ahead. Assembling shelves.

At this point, the assembling of shelves is rather anticlimatic. It went well. The two of them quickly assembled four shelves and began loading books onto the 2 shelf bookcases. It soon became apperant however, that two shelf bookcases would not hold a bin of books. At this point it was 6 bookcases and 6 bins of books. Lisa came up with the brilliant idea of adding another shelf to the bookcases. This would work as the shelves were adjustable. Of course, this also meant another trip to a lumber store to purchase lumber for the extra shelves!. They proceeded to the smaller, family type lumber store that had been such help to them earlier - even though they didn't have pink hammers. Low and behold, they had lumber that was the same size as the bookshelves. Things were going remarkably well for our intrepid bookshelf builders! They purchased the lumber along with a few other "hardware" type supplies and were on their way. Again things went swimmingly well. The "library" is now almost complete. The only thing needed is a couple more bookshelves that will hold the books that are currently in Kristie's TBR pile. But there is no rush for them as Kristie is in a reading slump again.
So for your viewing pleasure - "The Library"

Hopefully, you can see her love of the seafaring adventure romances and note the three ships and lighthouses on the top of the shelves!

Unfortunately, Kristie is a very bad photographer and was still rather traumatized from the "cable guy" experience. Although she took many more pictures, none of the other ones she took on the digital camera turned out. She did take quite a number of a "normal" camera though, and hopefully they will turn out much better.

'til later


Ryan came by today and wanted his camera back *sigh*. He had plugged the cable into the back of the CPU. When I followed the (black) cable to where it was plugged in, I realized that was what I pulled out and plugged back in, in an effort to get the internet working. I guess that explains why it didn't work *grin*


Lori said...

I'm glad Lisa could fix your problem for you :)

On another note, the library looks fantastic! And can I say again how darn jealous I am? I want one!!!

ReneeW said...

Wow, it's beautiful and I'm so jealous! How many books have you got there? You didn't say what Lisa did to fix your internet connection and now I'm curious. Glad you have such a nice sister to help you out with the computer and the book shelves.

Kailana said...

That is a very nice library! One of these days, mine will probably look like that... Right now, my books are everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Just a few corrections to Kristie's story - so all her blogger buddies know the "real" story.
Number 1 - Lisa (me) used to be a Network Administrator but has been promoted to "Business Analyst". This is great because although some people might have a vague idea what a Network Administrator is, pretty much nobody has a clue what a "Business Analyst" does - analyze business????
Number 2 - Kristie didn't appear to be in full panic mode when I showed up at her door - I liken it more to a deer in the headlights look - her life as she knew it was over - nothing left but to admit the inevitable and accept her fate - no more internet for her entire life!!! Our other sister and I like to refer to Kristie as the "Drama Queen". One time when we were all driving in my car together (she was in the back seat) and she was having problems getting the seat belt done up she exclaimed: "I'll just die then!!!!". Fortunately, a couple of seconds later she did indeed manage to get her seat belt fastened and no lives were lost.
Third - I had my own moment of panic when Kristie informed me that I just HAD to get her internet working. I haven't actually had to "fix" a computer in a few years - I'm more of a software person. I have a "person" at work who does all this kind of stuff. I could feel my own brand of Krist

Lisa said...

Oops – darn this dial-up internet. Living out in the “boonies” I don’t have access to high-speed so I’m at the mercy of good old Bell and I keep losing my connection. To continue: I could feel me own brand of Kristie-type panic setting in. What if I couldn’t fix her computer??? She was looking at me like an ice cream salesman in the middle of the dessert. Like a parachute maker just after she’s fallen out of a plane. Like Brad Pitt who shows up after she’s been stranded on a dessert island for five years (well, you get the idea). I just had to get her computer fixed or come up with a “Plan B”. In an instant, all kinds of possibilities came into my mind. We could make the hour and a half round trip back to my place to get my computer from home for her to use (I don’t use it all that much anyway). We could do a B & E at my office to steal a computer from one of the people I work with how never use their computers anyway. I figured Kristie could create a distraction while I snuck by the security guard with the stolen merchandize. Fortunately, I was able to quickly fix her internet connection – one of the check-boxes had just come “un-checked”. I clicked it back on a “Voila!” Internet. She looked at me as if I had just told her she won the lottery.
Number Four: Kristie just doesn’t give herself enough credit for what she can do. Over the past horrible year, I’ve see her do things that she never would have thought she could do. And she justs keeps going – learning more new skills – expanding her horizons – I’ve so very proud of her. Assembling a few bookcases was a snap. Being, as I like to put it, a “bitter divorced woman” (just kidding about the bitter part) for the past twelve years has taught me that we women can do just about anything we put our minds to. It just might take a little longer, and we might just have to work a little harder, and make a few mistakes along the way, but the end result is usually very satisfying. Kristie’s pictures don’t really do justice to her cozy little library. I just know that the goes there many times a day and just browses through all her treasures, making plans to re-read this one that that one. I can just see her thinking – “but which ones do I choose first – I love them all so much!!”.

ag said...

I'm clapping for the both of you, Lisa and Kristie. You did well!

Wow, Kristie, now I'd really like to visit your library one day. It's looking real good.

Nicole said...

Can I rofl at that conversation? Ooph

Glad Lisa figured it out!

Your shelves look fabulous!!

Rosie said...

Kristie it looks like you and Lisa had a lot of fun despite the glitches and hard work. The library looks great BTW. I loved reading both sides of the story.

Devonna said...

I want that library! Wow, it's looking fantastic, Kristie!

I was LOL at the phone conversation. I was expecting the cable guy to ask you if the unit was plugged in.

Kris said...

Yeah for Lisa!! Poor Kristie, I freak out when my internet is down too. The library looks great you guys did a wonderful job. I want one, but I cannot seem to convince the DH of the necessity just yet, but I am working on it.

Nikki said...

Your library looks so cool! What a great job y'all did.

Bookwormom said...

Hooray Lisa & Kristie!! The internet is indeed our lifeline.

The library is gorgeous. Well done.

Kristie (J) said...

Lori: I'm glad she could too!!!

Renee: I had to laugh when you asked what she did. I really had no idea what it was - but now I guess it was just a box that needed to be checked *g*

Kailana: It is sooooo nice to have them on shelves where I get get instant access to whatever book I want - well except for those few that are missing still - those little rascals.

Lisa: What can I say but aawwwww. And a huge THANK YOU. And I did kiss you *g*

Ag: I wish we didn't live all over the world - so that everyone could come and browse and borrow whatever book struck their fancy *sigh*

Nicole: The part of me that wasn't in full panic mode was thinking "Kristie! shut up!! You KNOW this is being recorded! And if you don't quit right now, it WILL end up somewhere on the internet"

Rosie: We did have a riot - at least I did, even when she hit me a couple of weeks ago in the lumber store. Truthfully, it was more of a amused/annoyed tap than a hit :) And what she didn't mention in the seat belt story is what a bitch it is to get those damn seatbelts done up and I had been struggling with it for aboy 15 minutes!! And it was after a day long shopping adventure at IKEA. I was tired :)

Devonna: LOL - He DID ask if it was plugged in. I couldn't figure out where he meant though. I've always relyed "on the kindness of strangers" to do that kind of thing for me.

Kris: *chuckle* you just need to show him the pictures and say "see what these two women did? I bet you can do a much better job honey"

Nikki: Isn't it just so fine?? I think I have a much better collection than many libraries or books stores :)

Bookwormon: Thank you!! And yes - the internet has become VITAL to me :)

Suisan said...

Yo ho Yo ho.

glad you set apart the seafaring romances! ;-)

good job, m'dear.

nath said...

Kristie, don't worry about the internet thing... I mean, tons of ppl don't know what a modem is. my mom doesn't either, so you are NOT a dufus. As for your shelves, they're really really great... however, what are you going to do for the future? because so far, your shelves are holding the books you already have... what about the ones in the future purchases?

Mina Wolf said...

Oh wow, the site looks beautiful! I cant' wait til we have the opportunity to settle down in a place we'll stay in for a while. I so want shelves like that!

Kristie (J) said...

Nath - well - once they restock the maple shelves again, I'm going to get a couple more. There is room for them against the walls. Once THEY are filled - well *sigh* I'm going to have to have to do some "culling of the herd" so to speak. There are more than a few in there I know I'll never read again *g* And if worse come to worse, I'll just stop buying books (yea right *g*). The room next to it is (or will be) pretty empty. I can expand there for a while.

Suisan: Those ships look so cool there. I have a feeling that I'll be looking for more ships to add to the "fleet". See - right now it's a Spanish fleet on it's way back to Spain after plundering the new world of it's treasure. The first two ships are the guardian ships - the third, large one is the treasure ship. So now of course, I'm going to have to find myself a pirate ship or two to raid them. I'll become like those train collectors who collect all kinds of things train - only mine will be ships :). Then I'll have to start building little islands and things. I'll have a whole theme along the tops of the bookshelves. Then I'll have to get pictures of oceans and things to put on the walls behind them. - Say - this could be fuuunnnn. (see - I'm thinking as I'm typing......)

Kristie (J) said...

Mina: I just wish I had taken better pictures - many of them turned out orange or something. And I had a real case of the shakes for some reason - excitement maybe. I did take quite a few more but they didn't turn out at all and even the ones I did post are very blurry. Of course - now that Ryan has his camera back and I'll have to get one of my own - I can practise. And once I do a reenactment of the Spanish Armada (see how my mind has raced there?) I will be taking lots more.

Mailyn said...

NO WAY. Dude I laughed hysterically. You are making all that up. There is no way!

OMG thanks for that. Sorry, I am so cruel but that was too damn funny!!

I love the shelves! You inspired me. I will try my hand at building my own.

Kristie (J) said...

Mailyn: Nope - I swear that's true. I edited it from a few of my more freakish meltdown statements. And when that conversation DOES show up somewhere, everyone who read it here will be able to grin and say "I know that person!"

CindyS said...

Kristie - the part where you tell him you have to hang up now is priceless but he was so kind! You should send him a little present - maybe a parrot - Suisan's parrot!

When I got my brand new computer I called the cable company to come and put the ethernet in my computer so I could get on the internet. 'Uh, ma'am. All computers built in the last 5 years already have those in them.' Oh. Since my old computer was 7 years old I hadn't realized. I'm sure they play that recording for their Christmas party ;)

*waves to Lisa* Obviously the flare for drama runs in the family - Brad Pitt after being on a desert island? ;) I've also pulled the 'oh fine, I'll just die' line on the hubby with the pick up truck that has horrible seat belts that took me ages to figure out.

So here's my promise. If I ever win the lottery big I'll fly all of us over to Kristie's so we can have a book swap party. Don't worry Kristie - I'll hire help so you won't have to life a finger! You're book room looks fabulous and I'm green with envy.

Very proud of you!


Kaitlin said...

Kristie-Thanks for the b-day wishes. I had a great day. :) It was nice to relax and take a load off.

I loved your "story" by the way. I would love to put shelves up in my room but we've got old plaster walls and whatever you put up falls back down again.

Have a great day!

Dylan said...

OMGoodness that was too funny Kristie!

I'm glad that Lisa was able to fix your internet problem! ;)

And another OMGosh, I'm totally jealous of your library to have THAT many books and display them like that? YOU LUCKY DUCK!

Mina Wolf said...

Good Luck on your camera search! I've always found Canon to be great! Easy to use and great quality pictures.

Toni Lea Andrews said...

When I moved into my current home I finally got what I had wanted for years: Floor to ceiling bookshelves in my personal office.

When I got a new kitten (I call her Lucy but a better name would be "Satan Incarnate") I got something I didn't want--an entire wall of floor-to-ceiling book cases FALLING DOWN IN A GIANT AVALANCHE.

Moral of story: Make sure those gorgeous new shelves are firmly attached to the wall. Expecially if you have any kitty/demons living in your home.

sybil said...

Can I move into your library? Please...

YAY lisa!