My first “naughty” book wasn’t even a romance book. When I was a young thing about 11 or 12 or so, our family was renting a cottage for a few weeks. The previous renters or owners left behind a book called “Pretty Maids All In A Row”. Being a voracious reader, and thinking “what a nice title” I picked it up and began to read. I learned more about sex from that book than I did from my best friend let me tell you. It was NOT a nice little book about farm girls who milked cows. The basic outline of the story was about a male teacher who had “sexual relations” with his young and attractive female students. Graphic sexual relations. Relations involving fists and I don’t mean in a fighting kind of way. He would grade their performance and then murder them.
Well, somehow my two younger sisters got hold of that book. I don’t know if I showed them or they just stole it because it was something their older bratty sister couldn’t put down.
About a week after we got home, my mother called me into their bedroom and wanted me to observe. Now my mother was a real “lady”. She had a wicked sense of humour about some things but reading material and sex weren't them. She wouldn’t let us read comic books for example, saying it would ruin our minds.
What happened next is forever planted on my brain and cause for my sisters and me to laugh till our stomachs hurt (in a loving way) whenever we talk about it.
The three of us were lined up and she had a book in her hands. Yes, that book. One of my sisters, for whatever reason still remains a mystery, decided to pack “that book” and bring it home with her. My mother of course found it.
“You WILL NOT”
rip, rip, rip rip RIP.
Two main thoughts went through my mind but never voiced while she was doing this.
1) I was so glad it wasn’t me that got busted and
2) "But Mom, the book wasn’t ours and I hope the owner(s) never noticed it missing.”