Friday, August 17, 2007

What were they thinking????

I happened to be on E Harlequin today (orderingafewbooksbecauseyougetonefreeonFridays) when I happened across this horror.
There are others, many, many others who can do cover snark so much better than I, but I thought I just have to give this a shot.

Can you think of a better way to sell a romance book that this? Everything just screams passion doesn't it? Two weird babies who look like their older cousin got funky with the blush while they were sleeping, put down for a nap in their clothes - that's gotta be comfortable. And the title just screams BUY ME!
Stork Alert???? I mean Stork Alert???? Good grief. I didn't even think the stork story was used anymore. Must have been some innocent virgin type who's great grandmammy told her where babies really come from.

And speaking of really bad covers with really bad titles - I've accepted that the Harlequin Presents line has ridiculous titles and that for some reason I can't fathom, has a LOT of readers, but I used to read the Harlequin Desire line on occasion. I haven't for a while - haven't even really looked at them since they went to a much smaller word count. But when did they become a carbon copy of the HP line
Six Month Mistress
Scorned by the Boss
The Tycoon's Blackmailed Mistress
Seduced by Wealthy Playboy

Good grief these are horrid!!! And the cover models are all sleazy, slimy looking dudes -not even attractive. And if someone ever tried to tip my chin the way the guy in the first one is doing, first I throw my drink in his face, then step on his toes - hard, then lift my knee and put it someplace that would really hurt!

It's not like I'm opposed to Harlequin (IjustboughtsomebookseventhoughIdon'tneedthem) I like their historical line a lot and I buy a lot of HQN books. And although I haven't read many, their Nocturne line looks intriguing. But I think I'll stay far, far away from the Desire line!

'til later


Holly said...

LOL! This was a great post.

I have to confess however..I read the Presents line quite a bit. If I ignore the covers and cheesy titles, I can totally dig the stories.

Having an eReader really helps me with that, too.

But gah..that first book especially. YIKES! We're talking 80's again...

erika said...

Yeah to what you wrote Kristi J!
I like reading Harlequin books but cringe at the damn titles!

C2 said...

Ya know, I saw "Seduced by a Wealthy Playboy" at Walmart today and all I could think was - can you be a playboy without being wealthy??


Wendy said...

Don't get me started on the Desire line. It used to be my favorite (well, next to HH) and then a few years ago it started getting overrun by sheiks and continuing, multi-author series. Now? It's a clone of HP. Bleck!

Oh how I miss it so. So now instead of mourning just Temptation, I now light a few candles for Desire. I keep hoping that Desire will go back to the way it was - but given the sales numbers for HP I don't see it happening in my lifetime.

And ditto on the cutesy baby covers. Babies are cute, but they are not romantic.

Rosie said...

I LOVED Hqn Temptation line. I discovered JAK that way. As for titles...the SSE THE BILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR for Jessica Bird's book didn't do that book justice imo. But I still buy from time to time when something intrigues me.

Kristie (J) said...

Rosie: I loved the Temptation line too! I wonder if we started a letter writing campaign if they would bring it back. *heavy sigh* Probably not - although I remember they were going to get rid of the HH line and then changed their minds. I like to think I had something to do with it because I wrote them in protest! Now they seem almost better than ever with some great covers and quite a wide range of genres to choose from.

Wendy: I know - it's awful what they've done to it! I have quite a number of much older Desire (and Temptation) books and there is such a difference. They already have HP - why do they have to have two lines like that?!?!?

C2: LOL - they don't really go together do they - a poor playboy. And who the hell uses the word playboy anymore anyway? It's one of the words that's been taken over by Player or Dog or Male Slut. Only people in their late 80's or 90's would use that word anyway.

Erika: I'm pretty sure you get yours mailed don't you? So it's not quite as bad as actually taking them up to a cash register and paying for a book called the Greek's Virin Mistress's Baby or the like.

Holly: I know quite a few people like them - and I'm tempted to try one. But I would either have to go in disguise or to another city I've never been to or will ever go to or I suppose I could order one online - maybe next time I order from Harlequin. If I don't giggle to hard over the titles or descriptions.

Rosario said...

So what's the diff between the Desire line and the Presents now? Is there any? You're right, those titles are soooo Presentsy, and after entering the Presents for a few months at Romantic Advances, I'm a connoisseur!

Chantal said...

I love the Presents line, the HQN line, and the SPICE line.
I like the Desire line because they have good Sheik stories.

You are right, the titles are horrible.
My favourite Presents book is called "The Greek's Chistmas Baby"
Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to admit that to people? LOL

Don't tell anyone, but I love the covers for the Presents line.

Those babies in the baby cage cover made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Pai said...

Is the baby-cover trend coming out of the whole 'secret baby' plot device? Is that like, getting really popular to the point where people prefer reading that kind of storyline so much that a baby on the cover appeals to them more than an attractive couple?


erika said...

Yep, I still get the Presents in the mail,Kristi J, and I get the other lines in the stores. So I cringe and sigh and then shrug in acceptance when I'm in a store.

Devon said...

I was actually going to blog about my love of old Silhouette Desires later. I just can't find Harlequin line that I find as satisfying as some of those old ones.