Saturday, May 10, 2008

Slave by Cheryl Brooks **read at your own peril!**

whose sexual talents were the envy of the galaxy. Even filthy, chained and beaten, his feline gene gives him a special aura.
JACINTH IS ON A RESCUE MISSION . . . and she needs a man she can trust with her life . .. Enmeshed in a tangle of deception,lust and love, they must eludea race of violent killers and together forge a bond stronger than any chains.

Kristie (J) and I were lucky to have both read Slave, the first book in Cheryl Brooks Cat Star Chroncicles. Rather than a typical review, we both decided to post our chat over AIM. Just a word of caution, what you are about to read may shock you because hey, this is an erotic tale and we had to mention some interesting scenes in the book that may help you decide if you would want to read it. You may never look at utensils the same way again!

KristieJ: Anyway - onto Slave?
KatieBabs: Aw yes, Bawdy sex romp in space
KristieJ: I was so excited when you told me about this one and even more excited when I got my copy!! I thought it might be similar to one of my favourite Futuristics, Lord of the Storm by Justine Davis. So I was all pumped when I started reading it
KatieBabs: I have never read Lord of the Storm
KristieJ: Oh Good Book!!! The hero in that one is a slave too, and it's a Futuristic
KatieBabs: Since I am on the sci fi romance kick with Ann Aguirre and Linnea Sinclair, I thought it would be more like their books, but erotic
KristieJ: The first thing I noticed was it was in the first person. But since that bridge is down now, that didn't bother me
KatieBabs: I don't mind the first person POV at all, especially when the character's voice is a strong one. And, Jacinth is that. But she seems so moody
KristieJ: Yes indeed she is. Right off the bat, I felt like I was reading something out of Star Wars
KatieBabs: Also, there is a bit of a resemblance to Dara Joy's old stories, mainly with the character of Cat
KristieJ: I noticed that too, Cat vs. Rejar
KatieBabs: Ohh I just thought of Cat much like Rejar. Jacinth could be compared to Han Solo
KristieJ: Or I was thinking Bobo Fett - with the disguise she was wearing that disguised her sex - so it wasn't clear that it was a woman buying Cat the Slave. I LOVED Cat. I thought she did a great job with him. Part lion, part human. You have to love a guy who actually purrs, since I love cats - that all worked for me
KatieBabs: He was so sweet and very loving, very comfortable in his skin. But did he know Jack was female?
KristieJ: He was! And so grateful at being bought by Jack. And I felt bad that his whole planet was destroyed. That's another thing it has in common with Lord of the Storm. The people in that book were also totally wiped out thought the planet itself was still there. And he could smell her. He had very strong senses
KatieBabs: I kind of figured that out. But all I could think how horrible he had it as a slave, especially with those special chains around him! Major ouch!
KristieJ: Yea!! OUCH indeed - to avoid TOO many spoilers we won't say exactly how he was chained - but he was - and good!
KatieBabs: a few times cringed when Jack was trying to free him
KristieJ: So I was reading along, really enjoying this, and then the reading train started to derail when they hit the planet they went to rescue her sister
First off, I'm a very visual reader - as I'm sure many readers are - and when I read the costume he had to wear - it was a REAL WTF? kind of reaction, SPOILER HERE but he had to wear tight pants, high boots, white shirt unbuttoned to the waist - and I'm thinking oh yeah baby But then.........
KatieBabs: Same here! I guess to emphasize his manliness?
KristieJ: LOL They didn't emphasize his manliness - they exposed it!!!!
KatieBabs: what page is his outfit on? I need to find it again
KristieJ: I'll look for my copy too - just a sec, ok - found it:
“Cat looked spectacular dressed as a native of Starzeel. The white shirt had a high collar, billowing sleeves, and was open to the waist - it truly had no buttons on it whatsoever and there was a black leather vest to wear over it. The black trousers were actually more like breeches, skin-tight and stretchy”
So far so good right? But then we read on further:
“but where on other worlds there would have been a fly or a cod-piece, on Statzeel, there was a big hole surrounded with decorative embroidery, through which has cock and balls protruded. A red sash at the waist and black leather boots competed with Spanish tops to the knee completed the ensemble.”
All I could think was OMG - his dangly parts are hanging out for the entire world to see!!!! And that image stayed with me for the rest of the book - as did his exposed dangly parts!
KatieBabs: OMG this line- “Then the persistent cock of his pulsed once and bloomed from its foreskin like a Tedrellian primrose at dusk”
Well, the next few pages when Jack and Cat are on Statzeel was an eye opener!
KristieJ: He certainly was a randy cat wasn't he? Of course his dangly parts were just hanging out
KatieBabs: His name should have been Randy not Cat. Dangly bits!! More like dangly trunk
KristieJ: LOL - that's an elephant silly
KatieBabs: Kristie!! The things you say!
KristieJ: and my sisters call me a prude! Ha! It is too laugh
KatieBabs: I almost spewed my yogurt all over my keyboard
KristieJ: So -they land on the planet - ready to search for Jacinth (Jack')s sister and then we come to the part where they go to a bar. And well - what does one say about that scene. Kate - you have explored some strange sex practices and we have laughed - but I think this one takes the cake. I'll let you explain
KatieBabs: Where shall I start? Jack is pretending to be Cat's slave because the planet of Statzeel has women as sex slaves so Cat must be Jack's master. Jack notices some interesting eating habits, especially when she sees one of the females use a man's penis as an eating utensil!
KristieJ: *shaking my head in disbelief* And it's true! Now continue!
KatieBabs: Another sexual preference of the Statzeelian's are big noses! And they had a fetish for Jack's nose
KristieJ: *nodding - ready to howl with laughter 'cause I know what's coming*
KatieBabs: **put down whatever you are drinking** So, the locals want to touch Jack's nose, especially the men who used their wee-wees and Jack didn't mind! Eventually Jack's nose was, how should I say it, gang banged? The men would shoot their semen over Jack's nose and the females would try and catch it in their mouths!!
KristieJ: Yep!! You read that right!! Nose sex!!
KatieBabs: But for such a sexual book, Jack and Cat didn't get intimate till way in the middle of the story
KristieJ: And THAT is a visual that haunted me the rest of the book! I kept thinking where the hell was the editor to tell her that scene just wasn't a good idea
KatieBabs: I needed my eyes to be bleached after that visual
KristieJ: Taken out - washed in bleached and dried before we put them back in again!
KatieBabs: Well, how about the scenes where Jack, and how do I put this delicately, where Jack enjoys Cat's essence?
KristieJ: Yep - again not a good visual. You see his semen, sperm, whatever you want to call it - though he did have a name for it, hopefully you can find it, had MAGICAL powers!
KatieBabs: and every time Jack "drank" she had multiple orgasms!!
KristieJ: So how many women 'really' swallow?
KatieBabs: if it is from Cat O' Juice, many.
KristieJ: You are going to have to put warnings at the beginning here - we are getting a lot more graphic than normal
KatieBabs: I know!! Omg This book is x-rated
KristieJ: And if that's not bad enough - Jack who is a space trader - wants to bottle it and sell it!! The love scenes are good - until the author gets carried away
KatieBabs: I am not sure if this was supposed to be a comedy or a crazy erotic adventure.
KristieJ: And we need to mention, that the women - the slaves - will drop to their knees and *cough* you know what - at the drop of a hat. Total public copulation! Another visual I need the bleach for, and since all the men where the same kind of outfits, with their dangly parts hanging out - it happens quite a bit! When they travel through the forest, all I could think of was the bugs. Heavenly Stars - the bugs! You know where they are going to want to land
KatieBabs: OH! How about the public sex show Cat and Jack put on at the restaurant as Jack chugged at Cat??
KristieJ: That is SO not a fantasy I've ever had! And what about when they are riding the horse?!? Dangly parts bouncing on a horse!
KatieBabs: Well, he does need a way to move the horse forward. **rolls eyes**
KristieJ: I could see where this book might too *g*. I'm not sure what the author was going for either - but I will say - it was unique for me
KatieBabs: been awhile since I read something that made me laugh and groan at the same time KristieJ: And for me with my eyebrows raised through so much thinking "I can't believe what I just read!"
So - overall what did you think of this book?
KatieBabs: I thought the same thing! But kept reading because I thought how more graphic and out of control could it get? Overall, a bit far fetched, but since it is sci-fi, it works even though the whole sex craziness was too much for me
KristieJ: Have you noticed she has another one coming out? Would you read it?
KatieBabs: Do you know what the second book is about? I may try her again, for shock and laughs.

The Cat Star Chronicles: Warrior
"Tisana is a witch on the planet Utopia, but Utopia isn't a paradise for everyone. When her former lover brings Leo, a half-dead Zetithian slave, to Tisana for treatment, a sizzling romance ensues, culminating in a dangerous adventure. Will Tisana get to keep her lover and find a way to escape her own fate?"

Comes out in October 2008

KristieJ: She is writing a series about the men from Zetithia, the planet Cat is from - and those who escaped their world’s destruction I think she's a good author, one to keep an eye out for. Slave certainly kept me entertained, but I think I'll either skip the next one or wait for buzz until she gets some of the wacky sex stuff out of her system. Overall, I think I would give this one a 3 out of 5. How about you?
KatieBabs: Everything you just said, I am in agreement with. The sex may have been a bit too wacky, but a very out of the box book. I give it 3 out of 5 stars
KristieJ: So - *grin* we agree on this one. An author to watch for and if you don't mind off the wall sex scenes, one some readers might enjoy
KatieBabs: Brooks would be popular for readers who are Elloras Cave or Samhain fans. If you don't find yourself laughing while reading this book, well, your humor is missing
KristieJ: Oooohhhh - I think that was great! And fun
KatieBabs: Our risqué review. LOL

Any thoughts and comments? Anyone need a fork or a knife? *G*


Wendy said...

I had a blast reading this one - ohmigod, some parts (i.e. the restaurant) had me cringing and laughing my butt off at the same time! I loved Cat as a character but Jack got on my nerves with her rambling so much.

I look forward to Brooks' coming books, hopefully they're as funny and slightly gross as this one.

Great IM review! :)

Anonymous said...

Very funny review ladies!

Nose sex *snort* Haha- I typed *snot* the first time. LOL

So OMG how big were this girls nose holes?

Kristie (J) said...

Kim: LOL at your near error!!
I think - and Katie can correct me if I'm wrong - that they didn't (and I can't even believe I'm typing this - yet I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts as I do) they didn't go UP her nose - they kind of got off rubbing themselves along the cartilage of her nose - like if she crossed her eyes and looked down she would see something very odd rubbing back and forth - not a finger if you know what I mean. Please, please don't make me go read that scene again to be sure. You see the women on this planet had very flat noses and hers... ah...wasn't.

Wendy: I loved Cat too - well except for the mental image of his dangly parts exposed for all the world to see. He was a very good character. And since I ADORE Blair Mallory in the Linda Howard books, Jack's ramblings didn't bother me - nope what got me were the Very Wacky sex scenes.

Christine said...

Oh my. That's totally not what would I have expected based on the book blurb. But it sure was fun reading your IM review! :D

Kate Diamond said...

Wow. This sounds quite interesting! I think I'm about to make a purchase...

Sarai said...

Holy Craper I couldn't get passed Nose sex GEEZ I am still laughing so hard I am crying. WHAT IN THE WORLD.


Lord help me nose sex...

little alys said...

Whao. Thank you two for the wonderful review. It was both hilarious and rather, as wendy and christine put it-oh my. The book sounds interesting, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to read about wacky nose sex. ~_~

Brie said...

I am close to tears from laughing so hard. A nose gang-bang?! for crying out loud! I'm tempted to get it just so that I can read the "shock and awe" parts for myself.

Great review, ladies!

Ana said...

LOL. Great review ladies, awesome to be able to "see" your chat!And oh, boy, I will stay far away from this book.

Joanna Chambers said...

Great post - LMAO! Srsly - this is a real book?

azteclady said...


Can I say that I have absolutely no interest in reading this one now?

Huh. whoddathunkit?

Thanks for the review, ladies.

azteclady said...

And I was so distracted by the nose sex--ugh--that I forgot to wish all the mommies around a happy Mother's Day!

Carolyn Crane said...

Oh, wow, thanks you two for this review, and your hours of service implanting images in my head that may never go away. The nose sex and the pants, lovingly embroidered around the danglies. I am imagining something slightly more ornate than bricabrac. Maybe something metallic even. With pants like that, you know this is not a male author.

I love how creative this author is, I have to say. The nose sex is insane, but I think that is the sort of thing that would happen on another planet. Like, another planet might freak out that a man would want to rub his dick on a breast here on earth. The nose sex also makes sense if the sperm has those great medicinal qualities. Why waste it, you know, "down there?" This is actually pretty good world building, the more I think about it.

Kristie (J) said...

CJ: ROTFL - it was only Cat's um *essence* (and now I'm off to find the book where he names it) that had special powers. The *essence* of all the other males of the planet was your average run of the mill *essence*. So while her nose was being gang banged, the *essence* that was being released while their women played catch the *essence* was ordinary. Oh - and I found it. Cat's *essence* is called snard.

My stomach hurts!

And she is creative - yep definitely creative. Like we said - some will really lap this up *I can hear the groans* Ames for example gave it a 4 out of 5. And the writing is good. It's just a tad too *out there* for me.

KT Grant said...

Essense, snard when it comes out it is all the same.

Stacy~ said...

OMG this was just too funny! Nose gang-banging and snard??? I don't know if I want to read this book for the laughs or avoid it like the plague. Great review ladies.

Alyssa said...

That nose scene was pretty . . . icky. I landed about where you did on this one--at a 3.

~ames~ said...

LMAO!! I love this convo/review type format. And you guys, you're too funny. :P

I had to chuckle over the book a few times myself, but I found it very tongue in cheek.

Heather J. @ TLC Book Tours said...

O.M.G. ... That was HYSTERICAL!!!!!!! I'm so glad you posted this today - I'm not a regular reader but I wouldn't have missed THIS review for the world!