I am a wee bit disturbed.
Who am I kidding?
I am a whole lot more that just a “wee”. After reading Raine by Elizabeth Amber, there is a whole lot of wee-wees abound in this book. Double your pleasure? Why not triple your pleasure? Because the heroine has her own penis and the hero has two.
Nope, not kidding in the least. I thought the tree sex book of 2007 shocked me silly, well welcome to 2008 folks and the world that Elizabeth Amber has written.
Raine is the second story in her Lord of Satyrs series. This is an erotic historical paranormal romance from the Kensington Aphrodisia line that likes to push the envelope. And when it comes to erotic, especially paranormal, lines are crossed, I totally get that. But there are some things you just don’t touch and Raine crosses so many lines that I couldn’t decide to laugh or gasp in horror at what I was reading. I will state my case and you can decide if I am being too cruel or this is one heck of a sexy book where three penises to share are better than one.
Raine is the middle brother out of three who must find his mate and bride. Raine has been married before and it was so disastrous that he really doesn’t want to do it again. Me thinks his first wife may have been a tad uncomfortable when she found out Raine has two willy wee-wees for her pleasure. See, Raine’s mother was a bad woman who had an affair with Lord Satyr, some sort of fairy king. Raine must travel to
In the first chapter we meet Jordan, our half fey heroine who is being drawn by an artist. She is naked and must undergo this every birthday.
“I’ve been sitting in this position for so long I’m stiff as a sailor’s cock.”
Every birthday she must put her body on display for the scientific community in For the first 50 pages, it is all about
For the first 50 pages, it is all about
Now, I tried to keep an open mind and treat this as an erotic romance between Jordan and Raine, even though they had some major body issues between them. But honestly, I couldn’t get past the purple prose that was virtually on every page.
Need an example?
“His cockslits (WHAT IS A COCKSLIT??) gapped, readying. His throat worked and a rough shout escaped him as his hot shafts wrenched, hard, in unison…
“His man-cock fountained his gift into the void that was her yearning womb…
“In abrupt unison,
**Monday update: I posted a condensed review of Raine over at Amazon, much like the other reviews there, but unlike the others, I gave it a one star and a D- grade, unlike the majority that gave it 5 stars. Just now I went to go look at my review and it is missing. The same thing happened when I posted my review for Lord of the Deep 4 times overall and they still won't post it. What does this say about Amazon???** BITE ME!