Thursday, June 30, 2005

Empty Nest and Pirates - UPDATE

Come Monday, my husband and I will officially again be empty nesters. Our oldest son is moving out. The youngest one has been on his own for some time but the oldest one ran into financial difficulties and of course he came home until he got things sorted out. What was supposed to be a three month stay turned into a year and a half. I love my sons dearly, I really do, but at ages 25 and 27, they really should not be at home with their parents. This became abundantly clear to me last week. I was copying a file onto a disk so I could take it into work and add things to it on my break. I just picked up a disc that was lying next to the computer, copied the spreadsheet and got ready to leave. Just before that I thought I should check the A: drive to see if it copied all right. There were a few files on it I didn’t recognize and thought I would open them up to see what they were. Imagine my astonishment when they turned out to be pictures of a half naked girl. Well, I knew they weren’t my husbands – he has no idea how to copy files. That of course left the son. I deleted the spreadsheet popped open the A: drive and carefully put the disc back where it was. He is 26 and 11 months. This was on Thursday. On Sunday, I was making dinner when he came in the house with a girl behind him. When I looked at her I realized it wasn’t exactly the first time I met her. I just about said “oh, you’re the naked girl” but luckily I managed to keep my mouth closed. Yep, it’s time this little bird leaves the nest.


It's a good thing I laugh at life's ironies. Son number 2 was over this morning - it's a holiday here in Canda. My oldest son had been living on his own for a while with a roomate who skipped out on him - thus the financial troubles. Son number 2 moved out a month before son number 2 (hell, Brent = son # 1, Ryan = son #2) A month after Ryan moved out, Brent moved back for his extended stay. We had a month of no kids and for the first time in memory, the testesterone equaled the estrogen. When Ryan dropped in this morning, it was to inform us that he needed to move back for a while. He is having roomate issues and is saving for his own house. So, this empty nest will only be empty for a couple of weeks.

I read on Romancing the Blog how they were extending an invitation to guest readers. I decided to give it a shot. I couldn’t think of anything to write about for the longest time and then finally something came to me. I had been in a reading slump so why not write about that. I quickly typed something up because the deadline was approaching and got ready to send it out.

Now in order to appreciate this story, you must know I am completely and utterly useless about some areas of the computer and internet and pasting pictures and that kind of thing. Some time ago our Microsoft Outlook denied me access and I haven’t got it fixed, mainly because this is an area I’m a dufus on. I can, however get access to my email through our provider – the cable guys. The only problem with this is because my husband pays the bill, all emails going out this way appear to be coming from him. Which is a hoot because he’s about as good at email stuff as I am. If I'm sending an email to someone for the first time, I usually put a disclaimer in the subject line saying this email is NOT coming from Derwood, it's really Kristie. Back to the story.
I obediently copied my “column” into the email, ran it through spell check and sent if off, barely making the deadline. It wasn’t until the next day, it occurred to me that it went out under the name Derwood Stonehaven (name has been changed to protect the poor innocent). I completely forgot to say who I was, or add any kind of disclamier. I won’t copy the whole column, although I’m sure I’ve blown it for sure, but there were a couple of things I (Derwood) wrote, that when I think about the PTB at RTB, believing this came from Durwood crack me up.

This one for example:
“Being a fan of the rollicking pirate adventure genre, I think of a book slump as winds that die out on the ocean. The seas calm, ships are left becalmed on the ocean seas, unable to continue their journey until the winds pick up again.”

Or this one:
“Reading is essential to my psyche.”

Or then there is this priceless one:
“After years of reading all kinds of fiction and non-fiction alike, I have settled in very happily to romance. At this point I’m not really interested in exploring other reading types.”

And finally this one:
“ The slump is usually caused by the letdown of a run of very good books, like the adrenalin rush leaving my body after a strenuous workout”

So, if the judges at Romancing the Blog happen to read an entry from (Durwood Stonehaven) and think “this guy is wacked” he really isn’t. He’s just married to a computer dufus wife. And Durwood wouldn't read a romance if it was the last book on earth.

And hopefully, someone from there will take pity on me and give me another chance.


McVane said...

Oh, do go for it! It'd be wonderful to read your column if it does get accepted.

There's a way round the email problem: use a web-based email account that can be accessed from *any* computer [with Internet access, that is] in the world.

Email me on applecross9 @ and I'll send you an invite that will enable you to open an email account of your own, plus the email addy would be in your name or a name of your choice. :> Not only that, when you have your own gmail account, you get at least 50 gmail invites. You could send an invite to yourself to create another - a public email addy - for your blog, so you don't have to worry about spam. Frankly, I haven't had any spam problem [touch wood!]. Worth a try?

re: your encounter with the girl from your son's, urm, romantic photos is so funny. I almost wished you had said it, just to see how they would react to that. @)

Kristie (J) said...

I will take you up on that offer but I'd best wait until tomorrow. It's been very very hot here and a beer just goes down wonderfully in the summertime. Surprisingly, two go down even better. I'm just about to see what 3 will do for me. It won't help the thinking though and for this I have to (sigh) think.

Jill said...

I'm with Maili, I wish you'd said "hello half naked girl". LOL ...

sybil said...


That is funny! You so should have hidden the disk. I am all for him having it, sorry mom ;), but really he is living at his parents house!

Have more sense than to leave it by your parents computer. And just imagine him coming up... uh mom... have you seen a disk by the computer... hmmm honey a disk? what was on it? No sorry, OH wait there was that one I gave to the guy at work to upload on the server but that was just work files.


Go look if it is still there! hee

So did RTB ever get back with your hubby :)

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