Thougts on my 10th RWA Conference

I started mentioning this on Twitter but I have way too many thoughts running through my brain, I could never narrow it down to a limited number of characters so though I don't know how many people will see this, it's the best forum to use.

Before I go any further though, shout out to Wendy (and more about her later) for letting me use her laptop.

In some ways since my first conference in Dallas in 2007, somethings have remained the same and in others things are different as night and day.

The Differences
My health.  I was 12 years younger at 53 then I at 65. (I know! Can you believe it?  For those who have never met me, I don't look it or act like it).  Since my first one I've broken my left leg, done major tendon damage to my right leg, had a heart attack, worsening depression, loss of a good deal of bladder control - those keigal musscells (lost the ability to spell good :) ) ain't what they used to be, lost hair in my nether regions but gained it on my face, and a lot of other stuff.  So I don't have the stamina like I used to

Ebooks.  They were just in their infancy 12 years ago.  While Romancelandia was much more advanced, the rest of the reading world was just starting to use them.  I said at the time they aren't for me but today that's all that I read on.

Books.  This is a huge one.  When I ,first started coming, I'd be shipping box after box - usually up to 4 or 5 home.  This year I have six books, only because I was given them, and most of them I plan on giving away when I get home not because I don't want to read them but because I only read about .5% print books.

Author signings.  I don't plan on going to any this year.  It's NOT because I don't adore authors with every breath of my being; I still do, but I don't like standing in front of them while they are sitting looking up at me.  I get totally tongue tied, don't know what to say and up feeling stupid while there is a long line behind me waiting.   Talking with them one on one or in a small group is completely different and wonderful.  Plus, I'm not an autograph collector.  Even if I were standing in Front of Jason Mamoa - and which woman breathing wouldn't want to - it still wouldn't occur to me to ask for his autograph.  A hot and heavy and sexy as hell kiss is a different story, though I'm mindful ofthefact he's married to Lisa Bonet and seems to adore her so it would remain my thoughts only.....and would probably stay in my thoughts only for my remaining years.  But anyway you get the picture.  Not a collector.

Blogs vs Twitter.  I'm guilty of this myself.  While I want to blog a lot more than I used to, I just don't have the time or need materials to blog.  But I do use Twitter a lot.

Cell Phones.  Back 12 years ago they were very rare.  Now EVERYONE has them - including me, though as like ereaders, I said never me.  But thank goodness I'm adaptable and I'm now one of those who can be found sitting around on my cell phone.

I've gotten carried away so this will be a multiple posting run.

til later

Recent Read - A Classic

Morning Glory by LaVyrle Spencer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was reminded the other day that it’s been a while since the last time – but by far not the first time – that I read this wonderful and amazing book.  So of course I had to fix that and read it again.  It has really stood the test of time since the very first time I read in 1990.  It needs to be read by everyone who loves romance.  Here’s the review I wrote ages ago and everything I said then.

******~~~~~*****

There are classics in literature, Moby Dick, War and Peace, Oliver Twist and many more. I think the romances of yesteryear have their classics too, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights and more. With modern day romance I’m not so sure if there are what would be considered classics yet or not, it may be too soon, but if they did, I’m sure they would have a book or two by Georgette Heyer, Kathleen Woodiwiss.

And then we come to another author who has written some of what I consider modern day romance classics and that’s LaVryle Spencer. I’ve read most of her books except for perhaps her last couple before she retired and of all that I’ve read, I truly believe Morning Glory needs to be added to the classics of romance. I first read this book more years ago than I can remember and I’ve reread it every year or two since then. I can’t quite remember the last time but I have it on my Ipad and I know I’ve read it since I bought it but when I saw a friend recently post a review on GoodReads, I had the urge to reread it. And heaven knows when a book starts calling, there is no relief until you answer it.

This is an emotional and moving story of two sad and lonely people, how they come together in an enduring gentle love and heal each other with that love. Will Parker and Elly Dinsmore are characters that have stayed with me since the first time I read this book more than 20 years ago. It’s almost like I’ve absorbed them.

The book opens with Will Parker working at a lumber mill. He’s only been there 3 days and he’s literally starving. The book opens just before the second World War and Will has just been released from prison for murdering a prostitute. We find out details later in the story. His bully boss finds out this info and dismisses Will on the spot. Will has just been wandering around the countryside trying to find work and now he’s out of yet another job. The men laughingly tell him that maybe crazy Elly Dunsmore will take him in. She has an add up advertising for a husband to help work her farm. She is known as the local crazy widow woman and her story is just as sad as Will’s. She was the bastard granddaughter of the town’s religious zealots and was practically locked into the family home with the blinds drawn. Only after the truant officer found out about her was she allowed out but only to go to school, then back to her prison. She somehow managed to escape long enough to meet and marry. But her husband died in an accident and she has two young boys and is pregnant with her third child and is in desperate circumstances. Her only option is to look for a husband. After some thought and due to his own desperate circumstances, Will does go to see Elly and to check things out. It’s an awkward meeting; neither one of them is comfortable in dealing with others, Elly because of the isolated way she was raised and Will because of his prison record. But they manage to come to an agreement and thus starts the most poignant, tender, beautiful, tear inducing books I’ve ever read.

Seriously, I mean it. If I only had one word – the story is haunting.
Will has never known love and he sees all he’s ever wanted in the mother that Ellie is. He falls in love with her partly because of that. He was an orphan who never knew his parents, doesn’t even know his own birthday. His only friend betrayed him, resulting in his prison sentence. I think he’s the loneliest, saddest hero I’ve read in the of a book.
Elly is also sad and lonely but not as defeated.  She has her children and she had a good husband. Despite, or maybe because of her lonely upbringing, Elly has quite a streak of whimsy to her. She’s actually rather upbeat all things considered and this is just what someone in such a dark place as Will is needs.

Throughout the story, they heal each other. While she had loved her husband, Will is different. He’s young, and strong and determined and handsome and he has beautiful eyes. He loves her two sons and is a wonderful father figure to them. He is loving and very appreciative of everything Elly does both for him and her children. He never takes anything for granted. Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone like Will?
And for Will, Elly is everything he couldn’t even have imagined he wanted. She meets the mothering role he has needed filled all his life. There is a scene where she cuts his hair and one is almost in tears reading just that scene alone.

Slowly, Will gains a sense of pride and self worth. When he first comes to Elly, he’s a broken man. But with Elly’s help along with Ms. Beasley gets respect. Ms Beasley is the local librarian who helps him when he wants to learn more on different things he fixes around the farm, plumbing, bees, a number of different things. Ms Beasley is another wonderful character. She’s starchy and she’s tough and she’s opinionated and she has such a soft heart for Will. He’s like the son she never had and she is a lion in defense of him and when she offers him a job as library custodian, he gains a pride he’s never had before.

And of course there is conflict that comes along in this book. It takes place in 1941 and the threat of war hangs in the air. Will knows he is a prime candidate to be called up and wants it to be on his terms. But Elly is terrified and would rather keep her head in the sand. Finally the inevitable happens and Will must leave and he joins the Marines. It turns out that he completely becomes the person he was meant to be.

This part of the book, told through letters, is as wonderful and poignant as the rest of the book and it marks a turning point. Will comes back but not quite the same person he left. But now there is another block. He is being stalked by a woman who refuses to accept the fact he’s not interested.

I really don’t have the words or confidence to completely explain how truly wonderful this book is and how I think it needs to be read at least once by every reader who loves this genre. Ms. Spencer makes us feel every emotion that Elly and Will in particular experience. We feel the betrayal that Will feels when his best friend testifies against him during the trial that sends him to jail. We feel his despair and shame when he brings up the green apples he ate because that was the only thing he could find. We feel his wonderment over his growing relationship with Ellie’s two boys. We feel his panic when Ellie insists he be the one to help her give birth and we feel his pride when Ellie gives her new-born daughter his last name.
This is a book that shows, not tells the story and because of that she makes us feel like we are right there with them during their journey to healing and love. If you check reviews for this book on GoodReads and or Amazon, many reviewers give this higher than 5 stars even though that’s the highest grade allowed.

Having just recently read this book again, it’s timeless, it’s a classic and it only gets better with each telling.

They don't have anything higher than 5 so all I can do is give this a 5+++

View all my reviews

Advice for Authors .

oh my but Twitter is a great source of inspiration for blog subjects.  I was just following a thread started by an author unhappy with a negative review for one of her books.  She screen captured a one star review posted on Amazon.

Bad, bad, bad idea.  She seemed to have many positive reviews but focused on one negative one and bitched out the reviewer.  She totally ignored one of the primary facts of being an author; there isn’t a book written that’s going to be loved by all. Not. One. Single. Book. I’ve read books I’ve loved to the enth degree as have the vast majority of other readers but there is ALWAYS going to be someone who thinks it’s garbage, always.

So authors, accept this.  If you are tempted to argue, justify, explain, whatever, Sit On Your Hands Until the Urge Passes. Make this your number one rule.  Of sure there are going to be fans who agree with you if you do respond but more likely is that you will lose potential readers.  I’ve never read this author but she guaranteed that now I never will.  For the most part, readers who write up reviews do it for fellow readers and not to give the author good feels.  If I were an author, to be honest I wouldn’t want this.  I’d rather a reader, if they are going to do a review, be honest.

I’m easily pleased and happy with books I read so I don’t write many negative reviews, but I do on occasion.  I try to explain why I didn’t care for the book but it’s not a given every reader who does reviews will. Sometimes it might just be one or two sentences, with no real reason why.  This is the case I’m referencing because author tweeted it for all to see.

But authors, resist.  Accept this happens to all authors and just move on.  If reasons are listed why the book didn’t work, think on it, and then move on if you don’t buy the reasons or incorporate if they do have a point.

But whatever, do not whiner complain where others ca see.  Big mistake.

‘TIL later

It’s also the ironies

Remember my last post, the one I did less than 24 hours ago, somewhere around 3:30 am?  Yep that one.  Why is it for every step forward, you seem to take one back?

I was looking forward to work today.  I was wearing new shoes and a new jumper I was waiting for the right shoes to wear.  I was rockin’ the look, good hair day and was feelin’ fine.  I was walking into the back door, stepping up a small slip when it seems I didn’t lift my right leg high enough, tripped, couldn’t recover and landed face first on the cement.

Of course the first words out of my mouth was FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck.  Then the pain started and the blood started to rush out and I started to cry.  Since it was the start of the second shift there were a number of people around, nurses included.  It was déjà voux all over again and for the second time in a couple of months an ambulance was called for me at work.  That is so freaking embarrassing, it really, really is.  The ambulance came and checked me out and recommended they take me to the hospital but this time I declined.  Rather than getting priority head of the line treatment I got when I had the heart attack, I’d have to wait my turn just like everyone else and the EMT’s would have to wait with me.

By this time I was feeling much better other than that rattled feeling one has after a nasty fall.  They were really only concerned because I’d hit my head and I’m on blood thinners.  The compromise that work really wanted was a visit to urgent care which I agreed t, no ambulance this time.  My manager took me and stayed with me the three hours it took for a doctor to check me out.  He let me leave after getting a tetanus shot.  For some reason that amuses me.

So I’m home and good except for a sore face, a slightly swollen nose and a booboo on my nose and a fair sized lump on my forehead. And I called my sister to see if she can call me a couple of times tonight and in the morning.

But dang it all I hesitated again going up the stairs to the house again.  Not too bad but still.  I’m not liking these backward steps.  And I’m thinking I might wake up with black eyes tomorrow.

See, irony.

‘Til later.

It begins with baby steps

My health had deteriorated the past number of years.  It began I think about 8 or so years ago when I fell on my basement stairs and broke my left leg, the tibia and fibula both.  I still have the X-ray around somewhere around and it is pretty cool.  I recovered though Left Leg as I call her was weakened.  Then about 5or 6 years ago, time being more of a relative thing, I slipped and did major damage to tendons and ligaments on Right Leg.  Recovering from the broken leg was nothing compared to trying to recover from the damage to Right.

 I used a walker (White Walker) and a cane, (Kandi and yep, I named them just like I have to Legs). Off and on for a number of years.  In fact they even went on vacation with me, to RWA conferences and my yearly cottage trips.  In fact they are both still in my car,mostly because I’m too lazy to bring them in but also as ‘just in case’.  I had a lot of falls mostly because Right and Left refused to work together, each thinking the other leg should take the lead, what with their injuries and all.

I’m just clueing lately that that’s been a contributing factor in the depression I’ve had.  As a result I didn’t walk nearly enough.  Both legs hurt, Right in particular would ache at night.

But then came the heart attack and as a result I’ve taken up walking.  I stager quite a bit still and anyone walking behind me I’m sure thinks that woman ahead of me’s been hitting the bottle.

But today!! Ahh, celebrating baby steps, for the first time in 5 or 6 years(!) I walked around the mall I live near.  And not only that but I climbed a few stairs alternately instead of stepping up one step on
Left, then bringing Right up to meet before moving on. Right is stubborn and refuses to go first.  It didn’t click in until I was driving home what I just done for the first time in ever so long.

See, baby steps.  They can be amazing.

‘TIL later.

Ponderings

Our computers are down at work and as most know, when the computer is down, you can’t work.  It’s most frustrating.  It’s been down two and a half hours now.

In an effort to keep looking busy I did a bad, bad thing.  I went on Twitter.  There was a bit of a brouhaha when some self-righteous woman tweeted that romance is ‘porn for women’.  Them there is fighting words for me.  The single most core function of romance is love.  In most porn, love isn’t even a factor.  But in romance the main characters love the other person more than themselves.  Porn is much more self-satisfaction.  Sex – in romance – is for the most part, a physical expression of that love.  And for those self-righteous who think sex between those who love each other, check out some of the verses in Song of Solomon.  In my opinion, God approves of physical love.

I also see some books on Amazon labeled “clean”.  This also raises my temperature as it sure does imply that sex is somehow dirty.  It’s NOT.  It’s a gift.

There are a number of things that get me steamed and self-righteousness is one of the biggies.

.......

And now of course our system is back up and running which means I have to start working again.  *heavy sigh*

'til later

OK, I’m Here again.

I’ve been going through a whole lot the past while.  I’ve been wanting to keep blogging but one of the “things” was my wifi didn’t work for a long time.  I had someone over to do a bunch of handyman type stuff and getting my wifi up and running was the greatest of all the things he fixed.  I didn’t realize how much emptier my life had become until I got it back.  I was cut off from the romance community and the “community, from readers to authors have been such a rich and vital part of my life for years.  I was starving but didn’t know it.

But now it’s almost like I’m experiencing a rebirth of sorts. I’ve long known I have deep seated issues but again I didn’t know how deeply broken I’ve been until I’ve started healing.  I’ve been going for counseling regularly and shit is coming out that I didn’t even know was there.  But I found myself laughing at work a week or so again and it was a meaningful laugh like I haven’t had for a few years now and it felt WONDERFUL.  That’s when it truly dawned on me I’ve been almost just existing for a long while; going through the motions but skimming through a lot of things.

Oddly enough it was a heart attack I had a couple of months ago that was the awakening I needed.  Before that I wasn’t actively suicidle (crap, can’t figure out how to spell that) but a part of me didn’t care if I died.  I know, it was a horrible existence.  I didn’t WANT to, but didn’t care if I did.

But now, having lived in that black tunnel for a while, I discovered I wasn’t ready to “go” yet.  I’m walking and eating ever so much better and realizing I can do something.  I’ve started buying much better quality clothes and using a very good moisturizer- sounds silly and shallow but it’s a sign that things are starting to matter again.

I don’t have a relationship with either of my sons and haven’t for a couple of years now and it’s one of the things that has kept me broken but now that I’m healing I’ll soon be well enough I think, to handle the pain that’s going to come and handle the rejection there’s a good chance I’ll face.

But this is a thank you to the romance community.  Although I didn’t reach out for help, I was too broken, I know it’s always been there just waiting for me to reach out.

Obviously it isn’t perfect, there are as many opinions as there are members, and some very strong women, which we need.  But still we have something very precious and when things look grim, we do have something stronger which can hold us together if we allow it.  Love.

2019

Wowzers where has the time gone?  I still don’t have wifi working at home and thus the pitiful excuse for posting so seldom and even though I barely do posts for quite some time now with any kind of regularity doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten this blog.

So I’ll say what I always seem to say and hopefully it won’t be as long between posts.


‘TIL later

Thought for the Day

 

 

 

 

I’m going to be quick here and maybe none of them will even notice this wee little post But this is a plea to all authors.

 

Please, please do not send daily emails.  I follow a few authors for new releases and updates and a few, thankfully a very few, seem to think it’s their duty to send daily emails.

 

DON'T!

As a reader I don’t want to hear from you every day.  In fact if you are one of those who do send daily emails, I WILL NOT read any more of your books.   

The emails are like a weed that keeps coming back every day.  I delete it without even opening it and sure enough the next day there is another one. 

I think 1 email a week is more than enough but my preference is just to send me, the reader, an email when something is happening; you have a new book coming out soon, the release of a book is being delayed for some reason, your bestie is having her first book published soon and you want to share the good news.  That’s the only kind of thing I want an email sent to me.  If I want closer contact, I will follow you on Facebook – that is until I get mine deleted, or Twitter or Instagram.  Sending me daily emails is pretty much the last thing you should do.

 

Now speaking of author emails, I just now got a good example of an author who does it right; Julie Kriss.  Anyone who comes here on a regular basis knows I vacuum up her books like a brand new Dyson – cordless don’t know you. 

 

She sends emails when a new book is coming out and she sent one this morning.  I’d barely finished reading the email before I jumped on over to Amazon to pre-order it.   Nice cover eh? Should be out in just a few days and the minute it's uploaded is the minute I'll start reading it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 She also announced that Drive Me Wild,

the first book in this series is on for 99 cents.  Warning, I’m about to use some subliminal messaging here.




Buy it, it’s great book.  Buy it today.  Buy it. Do it, do it now.  Order this book

'til later

Ponderings

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a pondering post.  I’ve pondered a lot – I always do as my mind never really lets me sleep.  So here goes

I REALLY, REALLY hate not having wifi at home.  I can only do posts or review while at work and my inner worker bee is really bothered that I do.  Mind you I only do it when I’ve nothing else to do, like now, but still since I’m a magnet for guilt, I’m feeling it.  That’s one of the main reasons I haven’t been posting as much as I’d like to.

I went to RWA in Denver a few weeks ago.  I plan to do a long post but in the meantime have things ever changed since when I first started going.  The biggest change is the number of books I bring back with me.  When I first started going I would ship 4 or boxes home with me not to mention the books I could fit into my luggage.  This year I brought home 11 and that seemed like a lot.  I never thought this would happen, I thought I’d be one of the last to do this, but I read almost exclusively on my IPad now.

Getting to Denver was a treat and half!!!!!  NOT.  Before I start this rather long explanation, I’ve taken procrastination to a whole new level.  So keeping that in mind, the Sunday before I planned to leave the city (the following Monday) I thought I better double check to make sure my passport was still current.

Much to my horror it expired April 2017 which left me a week to get a new one.  No problem I thought, they don’t take as long to get as they used to.

Monday: I went to CAA to get my picture taken.  It’s in the same mall as the passport place.  When I showed them my CAA card so I could get the pictures for free, my CAA card had expired June 2017.  So in order to get free pictures which probably cost $5 or so, I paid $120 to renew my CAA + membership.  Pictures taken I headed over to the passport place.

Passport guy told me since it had been expired over a year I would have to start all over again with forms and everything.  He gave them to me and then I headed to work (which is also very close thank heavens)

I filled out the forms including having someone as a guarantor and headed home at the end of my shift (8:00 pm so passport office closed)

Tuesday: Headed to passport place with everything I needed – or so I thought.  After waiting about 2 hours I finally went to desk to see how much longer it would be and was told they called my number a long time ago but I didn’t show up at window. Somehow I got numbers wrong.  I finally went to teller to get everything going but was told that my guarantor didn’t sign picture, a requirement.  I quickly headed to work (which is also very close thank heavens).  By this time it’s around 3 and passport place locks up at 4.  My guarantor left at 2 that day.  My job share partner printed off new forms and I went up and down 3 rows at work trying to get someone to be my guarantor but no one had the passport with them and they needed it for passport number.  Finally my job share partner – who we shall call Krista – said she’d do it in the evening and bring everything in the next morning.  As the passport place was closed by this time that worked.

Wednesday: got up nice and early and headed to work to pick up all my paperwork (which is close to passport place thank heavens) and then headed to passport place.  Everything was good – or so I thought.  When I got to teller window, they wanted to see my health card as additional ID. I have an old version which doesn’t have photo on it so they asked for my drivers license.  When I showed it to them, it turns out it had – you guessed it – expired in 2017 so they couldn’t use it.  I asked what I should do and they said to get it renewed at drivers license place (not at all near passport place).  As one can imagine, I’m becoming more and more frantic.  I’m leaving Monday and it’s now Wednesday before.  After a lengthy drive I got to drivers license place and when I said I needed my license renewed she asked if it have been over a year.  Not 100% with it by now I said yes at which time she replied I’d have to start all over again including road test.  Breakdown begins.

Then there is the good news/bad news.  Good news, my license hadn’t expired that long ago so I didn’t have to start from scratch.  Bad news, my license was suspended.  Turns out I had an outstanding ticket for driving with expired license plates.  I remember when it happened and I drove right away to the drivers license place to pay it off but they said I couldn’t as it wasn’t overdue and nowhere on the ticket could I find where to send a check to pay for it.  I tried, I really did.  But I couldn’t find out and just kind of forgot about it.  So I paid the suspended license and for a new license.  And if things weren’t already bad enough, it was the year I had to have my picture takes.  I don’t even want to think about what I look like once I get my license in the mail. Shudder.  I was stressed, almost in tears and probably looking like shit, no makeup and bad hair day.

But still I got it done and headed back to the passport place (not at all near the license place)  But finally I had all my ducks in order and everything I needed.  Of course I had to pay extra to get my passport expedideted and fast tracked.  They told me it would be ready by noon on Friday. 

Thursday: A day of waiting

Friday: I went over on my lunch (which is very close to work thank goodness and thankfully it was there.  I was all set to leave on Monday.  Or so I thought……

That turned out to be a long more than a pondering didn’t’ it?  It’s more like a short story and not only that but it’s too be continued as there were still some bumps in the road.

 

'til later

 

I. AM. CANADIAN

Yes!  I am Canadian and damn proud to be one.  And I’m even more proud today. 

You see, we don’t’ have an evil thing as head of our country.  We don’t have evil sycophants who work for a malignant narcissist thing that leads OUR country.  I can’t call it a human being as I don’t believe that real human beings do the kind of thing that it does. 

We don’t have toadies for said evil, malignant narcissist go on national TV and announce there is a special place in hell for the leader of another country, supposedly a good friend of theirs. 

We don’t have bootlickers who claim our leader stabbed their leader in the back because our leader had the colossal nerve, the NERVE to say that he found it rather insulting that the evil, malignant narcissist thing claim we are a security risk for his country and the proceed to put on tariffs because of said risk

We don’t’ have a leader who makes enemies out of friends at the same time as cozying up to an evil dictator who has no qualms in starving his own people or murdering relatives or sending a young man just beginning his life, one who was visiting this country with said evil dictator coming home as a vegetable just in time to die. 

We don’t have authorized thugs who trick and lie and use other despicable tactics on people who only want a chance for a better life, like that which is written on the Statue of Liberty.

We don’t have a vicious little elf man who gets his greatest, almost gleeful joy when he devastates the lives of others.

We don’t have a leader who also refuses to condemn the leader of another country who murders opponents of the head of their country, who sends people to other countries to poison his rivals, a leader who will not admit that this other leader tampered with recent elections in the evil, malignant narcissist thing.

We don’t have an evil, malignant narcissist thing who has determined the best way to keep people from other countries fleeing as their very lives are in danger is to steal very young children away from their parents and then lose track of those children making it impossible for those fleeing death and oppression to reunite with their children, No, the head of Canada instead welcomes those from other countries knowing that in time those from other countries will be valuable contributors to the economy of Canada.

We don’t have a government made up of cowards who refuse to do anything to stop this evil, malignant narcissist thing even though it’s putting the entire world into danger.  Instead former leaders from other parties are standing alongside of our current leader in condemning this evil, malignant narcissist thing as he goes after Canada, Germany, France, Mexico, Australia etc.

We don’t have authorized thugs who trick and lie and use other despicable tactics on people who only want a chance for a better life, like that which is written on the Statue of Liberty.

We don’t have a vicious little elf man who gets his greatest, almost gleeful joy when he devastates the lives of others.

So, am I proud to be Canadian?  Damn straight I am

And if in any way, shape or form you support this evil, malignant narcissist thing, then get the fuck off my blog because to me you are as evil as he is.

I’m fortunate though.  I have a lot of American friends and they are just as appalled as I am at what’s going on their own country.  These are sad times for the world but sadly they are the saddest for those who have to live with all of the above.

Etc Time

Life is a roller coaster ride isn’t it? 

We go from high to low in the blink of a minute.  My high is the house is coming along great in its transformation from hoarder home to happy home.  We did the bedroom this past week and that went so much easier than I feared it would.  For any who haven’t been with me long term, my husband died of cancer over 10 years ago now and I still hadn’t dealt with his person items, clothes, personal items and so on.  They have been haunting me but I couldn’t do what’s been needed to be done for a long time now.  But with the help of my organizer, we did the bedroom.  And it was in bad shape overall let me tell you.  I couldn’t even see the floor, it was so covered in clothes and boxes and stuff.  I can’t remember the last time I made the bed.  It was only 1 layer, not a drastic case like you might watch on Hoarders, but for someone who suffers from frequent falls like I do these days, getting up in the middle of the night in the dark, to use the washroom, was quite an exercise.

But I ended up going through Ron’s things very quickly with only a few very emotional moments but also with some amusing ones.  Because I had the dresser and Ron had the chest of drawers, I never checked the dresser until the other day.  He had 3 drawers full of socks – THREE.  One full of white socks, one full of dark socks and one full of work socks.  I donated most of his clothes and a lot of personal items.  The only things I have of him now are his leather jacket, his ID bracelet and 2 jars FULL of pennies.  We don’t have pennies in Canada anymore.

My floor is now completely clutter free.  I’ve been making the bed the moment I’m out of it – except this morning since I forgot to set the alarm clock and woke up late.  Because the comforter is black and I have two cats who love to sleep on it when I let them in there, I found myself using a clothes brush on it until I wash it.  That might take a while as I have a huge backlog of clothes to wash and my dryer needs some work.

So now I have 3 rooms that don’t look like the others – until we get to the others and as the clutter gets cleaned up, it seems my shoulders are lifting higher and higher.  We’ve had bags and bags of junk lined up outside along the driveway.  We have a 3 bag garbage bag limit and there are a heck of a lot more garbage bags than 3 so yesterday I had 1-800-GOTJUNK  to come and take them away.  There was also a lot of yard trash they took and now the outside is looking real good.  I have lawn maintenance people and so the grass is properly maintained – I had major landscaping done also last fall – so it’s looking good outside and inside – main rooms anyway at the moment.

So. That was the high.  Now for the low.

My work world came crashing down on my head on Friday.  One of the reasons I’m still working and don’t plan on retiring next year – YIKES – next year when I turn 65 – good thing I don’t look it – is for the social aspect of the job.  I live alone with 2 cats – 2 happy cats now they have clean kitchen counters and a bedroom they can hang out in.  So I need the interaction with people I have at work.  It sure helps that I adore the people I work with and I love the job.  It’s in non-profit health care and there are many times a day when I’ve helped someone that I get that inner happiness.  Most of the people I work with are so much fun.  While I mostly work, as long as long as there is work to do, at times the social aspect of the job win out.  Of course there are those who are difficult to work with – NOT team players. You’re going to get that wherever you work and as long as I keep in mind that’s just who they are, I can get along quite cordially with them. 

But on Friday I learned all the people I interact with the best are leaving the department.  There have been a flurry of openings in other departments and they’ve all bid and got positions in another area.  Even my job share partner said she was leaving and knew I wouldn’t want to.  She told those around me that she had emailed me – since the very nature of the job is we don’t work together – but I didn’t get one.  These are the people to the right of me, people to the left of me, people who make it a joy to come in and work.  One has already left and the other ones will be leaving within the next several weeks.  While not letting it show on the outside and wishing them well, on the inside I’m devastated.  The guy I sit beside I’ve worked with for 8 or so years and he’s one of the most funny and fun people I’ve worked with.  And the coworkers who has left, she moved to a different city altogether as it’s a 45 minute drive from where she lives and a 5 minute drive from her new location, is one of the sweetest, kindest person I’ve worked with.

So now all that remain will be the difficult coworkers, the ones I have had run ins with, the non team players, the ones that make me grit my teeth and let out steam when I’m tired and the ones I don’t really have conversations with.  Yes, the others will be in the same building but it’s a large building with many employees and when they leave it’s never the same again.  I’ve experienced it many a time during the years.  A couple of years ago they moved me from where I was and it took a long time to get over it and the relationships are different now.  It takes me a while to let my guard down in many cases and get involved in conversations so even though we will be having others replace them, it’s like starting over again.

This is the kind of thing that triggers a depression and it’s like I’m on the edge of that cliff, whirling my arms around in order to not fall in.  I know I won’t, I’ll get past it and be OK but in the meantime I was up crying the other night at 2:30 in the morning as I don’t want them to leave me (that’s how it feels though I know it’s not true).

See, roller coaster?

*** update***

The roller coaster hadn’t quite hit bottom yet.  We had a meeting this afternoon whereupon we found out that all our caseloads had changed for better balance numbers.  The case manager I’ve worked with since I started in this department and I are no longer paired.  And of all the many,

many care coordinators I’ve worked with over the years, she is right up there very close to the top.

‘til later

 

PS – but then on the roller coast going up again side

, I found the jar of homemade blueberry jam I’ve been trying to find for months now.  Now since we went from almost winter, straight to summer, I just need to find the little girl fan I bought in the winter. 

I have room on the end table in the bedroom for it now.

 

Series Spotlight - Bad Billionaires Series by Julie Kriss - Part II

Rich Dirty Dangerous

The hero of this book is Cavan, older brother of Devin from the first book.  You don’t have to have read the previous two books to read this one, but they are both most excellent so I’m thinking you should anyway.  Bit of a backstory.  Devin and Cavan had terrible childhoods.  Their father disappeared early in their lives and their mother went from boyfriend to boyfriend until finally she was murdered by the last one.  Eighteen year old Cavan took off leaving behind sixteen year old Devin.  Devin and Cavan inherited a huge amount of money from an unknown grandfather.  Devin got his share in the first book and has been looking for Cavan to make sure Cavan gets his.  Cavan gets a brief chapter at the end of the second book and now this one is his story.

Cavan is associated but not part of a vicious motorcycle gang.  He’s their tattoo guy.  While he has some autonomy, when they want something, he is expected to do it.  So when the gang leader expects Cavan to do a tattoo on his old lady, Cavan really has no choice but to comply.  He really figures he’s screwed and the president is a violently jealous guy and one finger in the wrong place could lead to serious trouble for Cavan.  He’s left briefly alone with Dani and in that short amount of time she pleads with him to help her get away.  Cavan is most reluctant to help, mostly because of the danger to them both, but she brings out the big guns and tells him she knows that people are looking for him and that’s he a new billionaire.  Cavan agrees and thus begins their road trip to escape.

Before we learn the why, it’s been easy to not like Cavan.  He left his younger brother alone at a time when Devin really needed him but we learn the why when Cavan begins telling Dani his story, we get to see why he did what he did and feel for the choices he made and why he made them. 

And we learn some unexpected things about Dani’s past too while the two of them are trying to escape the gang that has a long reach.

As with the first two books, I loved this one.  Cavan is a deliciously good hero and once he commits to helping Dani, he is all in.  While he is very attracted to her, considering who she was involved with, he is patient and when the barriers do come down, very tender with her.

Dani is wickedly good as a heroine.  Though a number of years younger than Caven, about six or so, she is unusually mature for her age.  She knows how incredibly stupid she was in getting involved with this nasty gang of criminals but is determined to get free.  She feels bad for the pressure she put on Cavan but was desperate to get away before she was killed.  She really does appreciate what she has in Cavan.  I’m not a fan of millionaire/billionaire books and tend to pass on them very quickly when one comes up.  But because these guys came late into their money, it’s not like they have any sense of entitlement or are spoiled in any way.  They are rough and that’s the kind of hero I much prefer.

There is one more books left in the series, then I’m done.  I’m going to be sad then as these books are so readable and so enjoyable and I’m quite impresses with the author Julie Kriss.

Grade: A

Outline: The stripper who came to my door got the wrong apartment.
I was planning to tell her. But she kissed me first.

Max

You’d never know I’m a millionaire. I wear jeans and t-shirts. I’m a recluse. Afghanistan left me with scars inside and out. All I want is to be left alone.

I sure as hell didn’t order the stripper who showed up. All I know is that the hottest, sweetest woman I’ve ever seen is naked in my lap.

I don’t even know her name, but I want her. No good can come of this. And suddenly, I don’t care.

Gwen

I strip for money. It’s just a job. Until I meet Mr. Wrong Apartment.

He’s big and dangerous. Grumpy and damaged. Biceps that make me want to cry. One wrong house call, and suddenly I’m breaking my own rules.

Things are spinning out of control. We’re both broken. Maybe we can’t be fixed. Together we’re fire and gasoline. But I might let everything burn if he’ll just touch me one more time…

Grade: A

Back in Black

And alas, with so many good things, we come to the end with this book.  This one is Ben’s story, the lawyer who was introduced to us in the first book.  He’s a bad boy type hero who has woven in and out of all the previous books.  His father was a very distinguished lawyer and Ben feels such guilt that he never measured up.  He’s a lawyer like his father but his clientele is mostly criminals and he’s quite well acquainted with motorcycle gangs as he’s their go to lawyer when they run afoul of the law – as motorcycle gang members tend to do.  But when one of his clients inherits over $1billion, he scales back a lot of his other unsavoury clients to focus on Devon and then Max and following that Kaven.

It’s been hinted throughout that Ben was married and things blew up and the marriage and subsequent breakup turned ugly.  Thus it seems he’s not a good candidate for any kind of lasting relationship.  But since this is a romance, THIS IS WRONG.  He’s perfect.  And his match to be turns out to be Charlotte.  They meet when her younger brother gets into trouble and is in jail and insists to his big sister that Ben is the only lawyer who can help him.

The previous books have an interesting blend of light and dark, serious and amusing and this is the cutest of them.  Both Ben and Charlotte are such a hoot.  Charlotte is one of those “managing” kind of people.  In order to help pay the lawyer bill, she agrees to be his office manager and boy does his office need managing.  In some ways he’s very precise, but in others completely disorganized.  One of the funniest, cutest scenes is when Ben is in court, Charlotte doesn’t like the location of his office.  It’s in a run down, sleazy strip mall area. It was ok when his clients were mostly criminals, but now that he’s coming up in the world and working with billionaires, she decides and Devin, his main client agrees, that location, location, location is what it’s all about and WHILE HE IS IN COURT she moves his office to a better part of the city.  That just really tickled my funny bone big time.  There were so many scenes in this book that may have passed over my head the moment I was reading them, but then came back only moments later and cracked me up.  There was a scene where Ben’s sister is telling Charlotte how into her Ben was because he told his sister “I have an assistant”.  That amused me to no end.  While not necessarily laugh out loud funny, this book had so many charming scenes.

It wasn’t all light and fun.  There were certainly serious moments.  It does deal with motorcycle gangs after all.  But I know for absolute sure I’m going to be reading at least this book, if not all the rest again.

So, in finishing, I’m sad the series is done.  I loved all the books in this Bad Billionaire series and the best I can say is – Buy Them.  They Are Good.

Grade: A+

Outline: I've never been a hero. I'm the lawyer every third-rate criminal calls when he's been arrested - again. Or I was, until one of my clients became one of the richest men in the country. Now I'm supposed to clean up my act.

It isn't so easy. I dress more like a biker than a lawyer, and I have friends in low places. As for women, ten years ago the divorce from hell left me scarred - I live alone, I sleep alone. Trust me, it's for the good of womankind.

Then Charlotte showed up on my doorstep. Willing to work as my assistant to pay off her brother's legal bill. Beautiful and determined, even against the men trying to hurt her. She tells me I drive her crazy. She drives me crazy right back.

I hired her.
I watched her turn my life upside down.
I saved her.
I knocked her up.
And then I fell for her.

They say a bad boy can't be a good man. But they've never met me. And they don't know how determined I can be.

Final Thoughts:

 This has been a wonderful series.  As I read it over time, not back to back.  I’ve gone on to read other books by this author and I know I’ll be doing this for other series.  She’s in the middle of writing another one and if the third and fourth books are as good as the first two, well it will just solidify even stronger what a great author I find Ms. Kriss to be.

This has been a wonderful series.  As I read it over time, not back to back.  I’ve gone on to read other books by this author and I know I’ll be doing this for other series.  She’s in the middle of writing another one and if the third and fourth books are as good as the first two, well it will just solidify even stronger what a great author I find Ms. Kriss to be.

This has been a wonderful series.  As I read it over time, not back to back.  I’ve gone on to read other books by this author and I know I’ll be doing this for other series.  She’s in the middle of writing another one and if the third and fourth books are as good as the first two, well it will just solidify even stronger what a great author I find Ms. Kriss to be.

Series Spotlight - Bad Billionaires Series by Julie Kriss - Part I

 

In continuing with this series highlight theme, this is another series I have to share.  I’ve been almost obsessed by this author recently.  I’ve been reading all her backlist and rereading many I’ve already read.  I discovered her with this series a while ago and after somehow losing track, I rediscovered her.  But this is where the love started.

Bad Billionaire - Book 1

I tend to avoid any millionaire/billionaire/CEO type book as I'm much fonder of a blue collar hero. Added to that, there’s nothing like a bad boy eh? So at first glance when I read the title, considering how many books I have yet to read, it was a pass. But when I noticed the hero was a car mechanic who had spent time in "the joint", I thought ‘hhhmmm’ and decided to have a go. Good thing. I liked this one. A lot. Devon, a loner with a sad past met and connected with his neighbor Olivia. But Devon is involved in criminal activities. It's not that he wants too, but he's kind of being forced into it to protect a friend. He's caught before he can really establish anything with Olivia and spends the next couple of years in jail.

Just before he's released he finds out from his lawyer that he’s inherited a fortune from a grandfather he'd never met. Once he's out, he wants to really get a relationship going with Olivia but his newly discovered wealth changes the dynamics of things.  She hasn’t forgotten him over the years after his mysterious disappearance.  So once he explained where he’d been and that he hadn’t forgotten about her either, after some hesitation on her part, she’s ready to reestablish their relationship.

As I said, I enjoyed this book and had a hard time putting it down. Both Devon and Olivia were interesting and believable people.  Devon is very far from perfect.  He did what he went to jail for but still he’s very easy to like.  Olivia is a bit on the naive side but other than that she’s a good match for Devon.

I quite appreciated the fact that while Devon is now super rich, he doesn't have that mentality, having lived on the streets and on his own for so long.  Thus he doesn’t act like your typical billionaire, instead he’s quite rough and dirty – but definitely dirty in a good way.  This is a great introduction to a new to me author and I look forward to more books.

Just to make this even more tempting to try, it’s free on Amazon.  I originally gave this book a B but after rereading it, I uppped the grade to a well deserved

Grade: A-

OUTLINE:  I’m no one. A mechanic. A getaway driver. A thief.

I was born on the streets, and I like it rough — life, sex, everything. My job is dirty. My past is dirty. So is my future.

Until I get out of prison and discover I’ve inherited a billion dollars.

I’m not a good billionaire. I don’t care about penthouses, fancy dinners, or private jets. I don’t care about life and death. Hell, I don’t even care about money. I’m willing to spend every penny of it on one thing.

Find the woman who gave me one unforgettable night before I went down. The woman who is too good for me. The woman I can never have.

Dirty Sweet Wild - Book 2

 

I really enjoyed the first book, in fact reread it all over again, bought this one, didn’t get around to reading it and then forgot about this author and her books.  Bad me, bad, bad me.

So this one is the story of Max who is best friend of Devon from the first book.  They met as young lads and have been friends ever since.

Towards the end of Bad Billionaire, Devon who came into a pile of money, gave five million to Max and Max is not happy, not happy at all with this gift.

Max is my kind of hero.  He’s a broken down war veteran.  He was wounded pretty badly in Afghanistan, lost a leg and suffers from PTSD.  He’s a loner and grouchy as all get out. He doesn’t handle change well and being given $5 million is something he struggles with.  He can use some money sure as he doesn’t have enough to continue his therapy for either the loss of his leg or his PTSD but other than that he wants no part of the money and $5 million is overkill.  He lives in a rather dangerous section of town and is perfectly fine living there.  Other than Devin he bothers no one and no one bothers him.  So he’s a bit surprised one evening when there is a knock at his door, he doesn’t get visitors, and this gorgeous young woman comes in and starts taking her clothes off.

Turns out she does strip-o-graming and she got apartments mixed up and went to the wrong one.  Eventually Max gets around to telling her, but not before she does strip down some.

Gwen, who coincidentally is the sister of Olivia, Devon’s love interest from book #1, is rocked by her attraction to Max and though it’s very much against her style, she may strip for a living but she doesn’t ‘give it up’, she can’t resist Max.  And being the hermit that he is, it’s been a long time and Max is open to work with her.  After a blistering hot encounter, Gwen leaves. 

But I really get a kick out of her because she can’t forget and comes back several days later to tell Max she’s not a slut and she just doesn’t do that kind of thing and Max believes her.  Because the chemistry is so strong, they continue to see each other as Gwen slowly begins breaking down his walls.  She’s a catalyst for Max starting to heal.  And Max is equally good for Gwen.

This book has more humor and less angst than the first book.  I really enjoyed the first book with its intensity and I really enjoyed this book with its wounded characters, especially grouchy bear Max.  While I kind of lost track of Ms. Kriss and this series, I sure am glad I found them again.

Grade: A

OUTLINE:

The stripper who came to my door got the wrong apartment.
I was planning to tell her. But she kissed me first.

Max
You’d never know I’m a millionaire. I wear jeans and t-shirts. I’m a recluse. Afghanistan left me with scars inside and out. All I want is to be left alone.

I sure as hell didn’t order the stripper who showed up. All I know is that the hottest, sweetest woman I’ve ever seen is naked in my lap.

I don’t even know her name, but I want her. No good can come of this. And suddenly, I don’t care.

Find her. Get revenge on the man that hurt her. And make her mine.

Gwen

I strip for money. It’s just a job. Until I meet Mr. Wrong Apartment.

He’s big and dangerous. Grumpy and damaged. Biceps that make me want to cry. One wrong house call, and suddenly I’m breaking my own rules.

Things are spinning out of control. We’re both broken. Maybe we can’t be fixed. Together we’re fire and gasoline. But I might let everything burn if he’ll just touch me one more time…