Tuesday, August 17, 2010

And it's Spam time again!!


It's been kind of sparse for good spam mail for a while, but I do have a few goodies to answer


Alyfoylez says: Rock hard and longer


To which I say: You betcha!! Party on duu-uude

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jenner2 says: A breakthrough in male growth


To which I say: How very peculiar. It seems I sent an email to myself about male growth. I truly do not remember doing that. And what do I know. True, my sons were both rather small babies and both grew considerably taller than myself, but that hardly makes me expert enough to be sending emails to myself about it


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aeodyos5158 says: Discover the secret to amazing nights here


To which I say: Where is here? I bet it's some tropical island somewhere. It's summer and I've used up my share of vacation days so far going to conferences, but if you remember to send this in the dead of winter, I just may be interested.

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iefo2948 says: Re: our date tonight


To which I say: Wait a minute here!!!????!!!??? I had a date?? How could I have forgotten that I had a date? I know I seem to experience short term memory loss worse and worse every day, but a DATE isn't something I'm going to forget. Other than with friends and family, I haven't had a date in years. Alas, I'll never know where you were planning on taking me since I didn't respond. But I bet you were really emailing to cancel weren't you?

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eawadobesi5798 says: Look good in any pants


To which I say: I wish!!!! There is no way I will EVER look good in low rise pants. You've hear of muffin tops? I'm afraid I would be a sponge cake - made in a Very Large bundt pan. So I'm just not going to open this one!

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jenner2 says: 3 neat tricks to bag her


To which I say: OK - now I KNOW someone is messin' with my email account. There is not a chance in hell I would send an email on how to "bag" her. How degrading - as if 'her's' are some kind of animal to be hunted and brought down. I remember a year or so ago I went out with 'the girls' and was horrified at how much the bar scene had changed since I was young and single and looking. It felt like a meat market, so I'm surely not going to give advise on 'bagging' women!

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dina kipkalya says: Hello;, This Message is Respectfully Yours!,


To which I say: Dina, my how polite you are. And you should get a polite answer. I deferentially decline to open your email since it went into my spam email. But I do appreciate your fine manners.

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jenner2 says: Boost your ego today

To which I say: Again someone is stealing my email address. There are going to some people upset with me perhaps! Anyway - I don't think I really need to boost my ego. I think it's healthy enough without having to open spam. Well, except for my sponge cake top that is. I do have issues in that area.

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Ali Mcgraw says: We help those people who are not used to waist their time in university. Get the job you deserve easily and without any effort

To which I say: Well Ali, I don't mean to sound elitist or snobbish or anything, but I don't really think it's a good idea that you are recommending people not go to university since by the looks of your spelling, grammar and peculiar tense changes, I'm not sure you even made it out of grammar school yourself. Chances are you aren't going to get a lot of people responding to your email

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ymuere4660 says: Wow, this is amazing

To which I say: I'm afraid I'm a bit of a cynical bitch. 'Cause I don't really trust opening a spam mail to find out what it is exactly you find amazing.

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esyyfyryz2004 says: Real men have real peckers

To which I say: Normally I recognize this is one of those "size" spam emails and just automatically hit delete. But I couldn't help thinking to myself - what? as opposed to faux peckers? Unless they mean woodpeckers - like Woody. Maybe real men are bird collectors.

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yneakyn4665 says: She wants it so badly

To which I say: Oh you silly man (cause it's gotta be a guy), don't you just wish.


And that's it for today - the best of my spam mail. The rest sadly is just crap and not worth wasting time thinking of a reply. Now I can delete all and start all over again

Heh, heh, heh


5 comments:

Kim in Hawaii said...

Thank you, Kristie, for a great afternoon laugh!

The real Spam is quite popular here as a snack, pop art, and trinkets!

Shiloh Walker said...

LMAO.

>>>>iefo2948 says: Re: our date tonight


To which I say: Wait a minute here!!!????!!!??? I had a date?? How could I have forgotten that I had a date? I know I seem to experience short term memory loss worse and worse every day, but a DATE isn't something I'm going to forget. Other than with friends and family, I haven't had a date in years. Alas, I'll never know where you were planning on taking me since I didn't respond. But I bet you were really emailing to cancel weren't you?

Lynn Spencer said...

LOL! You get much more interesting and varied spam than I do. I just keep having long-lost relatives wanting to leave me money if only I will entrust them with my account numbers and social security number. They say they're family, so how could we go wrong? ;-)

nath said...

LOL, Kristie :D It's awesome how you can have fun with your spam!!

Kristie (J) said...

Nath - unfortunately for every gem I get, I'll get about 20 for penis enlargers or viagara or watches - just plain junk! That's why it takes so long to collect the better ones :-)

Lynn: Now I get them from Financial Advisors in Nigeria who have millions they want to give me. Funny - I haven't got a single dime yet - heh heh heh

Shiloh: Sometimes some of them are so good, the response almost writes itself - like the date one *g*

Kim: Spam trinkets????? Aren't people afraid dogs will follow them everywhere? And I think I was watching one of those cooking shows where the challenge was too make something good out of spam. Even still, the thought of eating it was appalling!!