Sometimes people boggle me. I often visit AAR - I love their site for the interesting topics, the reviews, the message boards, and while at times I may disagree with some of what I read, there is no question the staff and visitors do and say what they do for the love of romance and it was there that I first found my 'people'. Where I think of blogging as small gatherings of good friends, I think of AAR as a 'neighbourhood party' kind of place.
And I suppose with every neighbourhood party, you are going to get one of your rude and nasty neighbour types. I just happened to see that one of the rudest, nastiest neighbourhood types dropped by to start an interesting topic - looking for romance books that don't have a HEA. Well I think the vast majority of us hold the belief that if there is no HEA, it isn't a romance book; a romantic book perhaps, but not a romance. Apparently the rude neighbour didn't like that she wasn't getting what she wanted and left this comment:
I 'closed' this thread because I wasn't really getting any suggestions like I had asked for. Instead I was getting five out of eight people telling me that you can't have a romance novel without the HEA. I DID NOT ask anyone what their definition of a romance book was or any of the other crap I got. I simply asked for suggestions. Nothing more. If no one had any suggestions then there was no reason for them to reply.
I closed the topic and someone from AAR took it upon herself to reopen it AND send me a private message. I'm really irritated with that.
As you can see, what was a topic about wanting suggestions for romances without a HEA has turned into all of you giving your opinions on something that was NEVER asked for.
I think she just won the 'rudest most nastiest comment' award that I've ever seen there. What really got me is that it isn't her site. If you follow the thread, there are some interesting replies. And for this person to take this attitude makes me want to bitch slap her. As one of the commenter's replied "It's an open discussion forum."
After reading her nasty comment, to me it's not then a surprise she's looking for books that don't have the HEA. As I said, Friday I was in a snarly mood most of the day, but still I wouldn't do the kind of thing this person did - at someone else's 'place'.
Am I the only one that feels this way - that when visiting someone's blog or message board it's just not 'the thing' to be nasty? Disagree sure - that's what makes for interesting discussion, but to take it to this extent? I just don't get it.
I loathe the phrase "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", loathe it with a passion after being raised on it. But there is taking that and going too far in the other direction. And I think this person just did that.
And an update on the battle of wills going on in the house
Destructo Cat: 27
Already this morning Brent's brought her up 4 times