Monday, November 14, 2005

Crossing Bridges

This blog will kind of change direction at times. I'm still reading up a storm and will report on the books I've read and enjoyed - and maybe not enjoyed so much. I hope above all that I keep my sense of humour. That is truly one of the greatest gifts my parents gave to my sisters and me - to find something to laugh at even in the darkest situations.

My husband and I are opposites in many ways. One of our greatest differences is in how we view the future. I've always held the attitude "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." He started saving for his retirement when he was in his late teens. This attitude of mine has always driven him crazy - and to be honest his attitude of planning for something far into the future has driven me a bit nuts. But then, that's what makes marriage so fascinating.
I'm very glad now though, of my attitude.
He was diagnosed with a tumor three weeks ago. Wow - is that all? It seems like a lifetime ago now. We began going for tests to determine if it was cancer. He immediately jumped to the conclussion it was. I said "let's cross that bridge when we come to it." Well, we got to that bridge and it wasn't a good one. He has cancer. The next bridge was what type and what will the treatment be. He was hoping that they could remove it and I said "let's cross that bridge when we come to it." Then we crossed that bridge. And again it wasn't a good bridge. It's inoperable. Now we are waiting to hear from the cancer clinic to see what the next step will be. Again he is expecting the worst and again I'm saying "let's cross that bridge when we come to it."
Sometimes that's the only way we can cope.

I'm learning, slowly, not to put up with the bull shit though.
I just received a call from a telemarketer. When he asked me how I was doing tonight I said not so good (that's all I was going to say) He said great and started his spiel. I interrupted and said "you just asked me how I was doing tonight and I said not good and you said great. I have no intention of listening to any more of this call" and I hung up. I must admit that felt rather good.

11 comments:

Jay said...

Seriously, hanging up on telemarketers is cathartic. And I've done phone stuff. Getting hung up on is the best thing we can ask for - we don't want to talk to you any more than you want to talk to us.

ReneeW said...

The more stressed we are, the lower our tolerance for bull shit. Good for you for telling him off. I think your "cross that bridge" outlook is very healthy really. No sense worrying until you know what you're dealing with. I admire your quiet strength and I bet Ron needs that more than you falling apart. Take care of yourself too. Sometimes we nurturers forget to do that.

Avid Reader said...

Good for you Kristie. I bet it felt damn good. It's good to have hope. I'm like you, let's cross that bridge when we get there.

Keishon

CindyS said...

Kristie, I hope the news gets better and no matter what you want to blog about I'll be here.

Stay strong and if you can hold onto your sanity during this then do whatever works. I have always said to Bob, only one of us gets to freak out at a time and damnit, it's my turn!

One of my girlfriend's husbands lost his job last week and came home completely unhinged. She was shocked because she had never seen him like that. He is always the calm one while she is the over reactor. She realized that she was the one who was going to have to remain strong until it was her turn to break down ;)

I send you positive thoughts and prayers.

On another note, I don't even bother with telemarketers anymore. One night I picked up the phone and the guy started. I broke in and said, I'm not buying anything. He promptly said, I'm not asking you to. Really, I said, is there any money changing hands here? Uh, yeah. Then, good-bye.

CindyS

Gabrielle said...

Kristie, hang in there, baby. I've got my fingers crossed that it's going to be the best possible news.

As for telemarketers, I've got an unlisted number so I only get the odd call from some window cleaning company--I think. Once I say I don't speak French, they get off the line PDQ.

Take care, I'll be sending good thoughts out to the universe for your husband and you.

Karen Scott said...

Oh Kristie!!!! God I'm so sorry. I'll keep you and your hubby in my thoughts.

Tara Marie said...

You're "crossing bridges" attitude is so important. As negative as he may be, I'm sure Ron needs you to keep as upbeat as possible.

Hugs, thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Megan Frampton said...

Kristie:

I'm glad Ron has you, and that you have Ron (because he's saved enough money for you to buy all the books you want once he is successfully through this, right?)

I am thinking of you guys, hope you cross all your bridges soon, and well.

Megan

Kristie said...

It felt excellent to hang up *grin*. Usually I'll at least listen to them before I say no since I figure they get enough people being rude and they have to make a living too. But when he didn't even listen, well he deserved what he got. The evil part of me even hoped the call was being monitored - heh heh.
When my husband was first diagnosed - my fourth or fifth thought was "shit! One of us is going to have to be the strong one here and I know it's not going to be him." That being the case, my basic outlook on life makes it easier to cope.

erika said...

Hey KristiJ, when my cousin died recently my aunt cheered us, the family, up with lol emails and I posted many to my site. There's one just for telemarketers...

Alyssa said...

Oh, Kristie, I'm so sorry. You are due for some good news, and I hope you get it soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Good for you for telling off that telemarketer!