Saturday, January 23, 2010

I thought I would take this opportuntiy



To once again answer some of my spam mail.

Darin H. says: Regain your sexual energies
Dan: I haven't lost them. Sadly, though I know my sons would be horrified at the thought, know that now that I've jumped into the lake of erotic romance, I have no 'real' outlet for them however.


Reva C. says: Women never get bored with a well endowed man.
Reva: This is a two part answer. Part one - Sure - rub it in. Part two - a well endowed man is all well and good, but the real important question is does he know what to do with the endowment?


Charles says: Yo, yo bud
Charles: Yo, yo back at you dude!


mgarfinke says: Launch your love spaceship
Well - I'm almost tempted to click on this one to see what the hell a love spaceship is!! Would it be the Enterprise run amuck?


Willa R says: My new address
Willa: Thanks - but as I've no idea who you are and I don't mean this in a nasty way really - but I don't care.


Nadya says : Sweet Lord, call me on my cell phone
Nadya, I wasn't aware that the Lord had a cell phone. Or an email account. Prayer is the usual method of communication I believe.


Aida A says: The secret of being an incredible lover is having a big device
Aida, as I said to Darin, I think the key is more to know what to do with that big device. Unless we are talking large screen HD television and I think that's more of a guy thing myself.


Jengw says: Good day, I accidentally found a letter from you, I remembered how we communicated with you.
Jengw: ???? How do you accidentally find a letter? And it wasn't me - I can't remember the last time I sent a letter. Email or phone is the way I communicate these days.


nrique says: Answer me
nrique: Short and sweet - NO!!


counsellingdd says: Please answer me
counsellingdd, you are more polite than nrique but the answer will still be no, I don't think so.


Jed D says: Even if you are in debt, you can afford a designer watch
Jed, if I were in debt, I'd be more into getting out of debt than getting a fancy watch. While yes, I do have an impressive watch collection, most of them I get at Walmart and they are much less expensive and I don't have to worry about debt.


counsellingdd says: Limpness won't threaten your rod.
counsellingdd, actually the biggest threat to my rod is Destructo Cat - the way she goes after my curtains, I swear she's going to pull the whole thing down sometime!!!


Ashley says: No woman will be able to forget the night with you.
Ashley, while I can be fun to spend time with at times, I wouldn't go that far. But thanks for the ego boost.


Maureen B says: Women love making love with monsters even when it hurts.
Maureen: I think you've been reading way to many paranormal romance. It's fiction - there are no real vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters etc.


And a general answer to all Viagra distributors - I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF IT'S 80% OFF - I'M STILL NOT BUYING ANY!!

13 comments:

pattepoilue said...

'mgarfinke says: Launch your love spaceship'

LMAO this made me laugh SO hard! ahh thank you Kristie i actually needed this.
I've received a few very funny spam emails too...some are just plain weird.
Have a great week =)

Kristie (J) said...

Pattepoilue: We've heard many different names for it haven't we? But love spaceship is a new one to me. Gives new meaning to "blast off"

Lea said...

ROFL Kristie!!!

OMG - Perfect. LOL

C2 said...

I love Spam Day! :-D

*pictures shape of Enterprise* O_O *runs from love spaceship spammer*

Leslie said...

You should have clicked on the Love Spaceship - I would have! LOL

Sayuri said...

LOL

orannia said...

ROFLOL! Kristie, your response are priceless. I particularly like:

counsellingdd, you are more polite than nrique but the answer will still be no, I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

I SWEAR Willa R. isn't me! -- willaful

D.L. said...

thanks for the great laugh!

Mollie said...

This has nothing to do with your post but there's another N&S fan floating around the blog-o-sphere:

http://rhiannon-hart.blogspot.com/2010/01/north-and-south-bbc-adaptation-of.html

Kristie (J) said...

Lea: I can't seem to beat it - so I figure I may as well have fun with it :-)

C2 & Leslie: If I weren't afraid I'd get spammed to death, I really would have clicked on that one - *laughing* it was real hard to resist one entitled Love Spaceship

Sayuri: I collect them for a while - deleting many of the drug, watch and other common ones. But some are just two silly to not do something with!!

Orannia: Those are the ones that make me laugh - the real demanding ones. As if I'm going to answer some command from someone I don't know for an email that ends up in my junk mail!!!

Willaful: *chuckle* If I thought it was you I probably would have answered - but since you've never sent me your first address *g* I figured there would be no reason to send me your new one.

D.L. You're most welcome *g* I had fun coming up with some of the answers.

Molly: Thanks for the link!! As you can see - she is now on the Crusader list!!

Tracy said...

LOL Kristie you crack me up. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it this afternoon. :)

nath said...

LOL, Kristie, you crack me up too :D You've found a way to turn an annoyance into something fun :)