Saturday, October 02, 2010

Home Sweet Home

I'm home - been home since Wednesday. But in some cases, while it's good to be home, it isn't so sweet as one thinks it might be. Such was my case. One tends to be somewhat cocooned in the hospital. While they did get us up and moving very early every day and it was the rehab ward so we did a lot of that kind of thing, still in a lot of ways there is a whole lot done for you in the hospital. Beds are made. Meals are cooked and brought to you. Water is brought to you several times a day. Medication is already measured out and brought to you when it's time to take it. Well, you get the picture.

So my throw into the deep end of the reality pool was almost immediate when I headed home and had to make a stop at the drug store on the way. Son #1 picked me up and drove me but before going home I had to get all the medication they've prescribed. I went in taking 3 pills a day and left taking 7! Now mind you, 3 are vitamins and the other is percs for the pain. But that seems a lot to figure out every day myself and they have to be taken at different times of the day so that's something I have to figure out for myself anymore. And the trip to the drug store wore me out! I had no idea I would get that tired that soon. I walked over a thousand steps at a time at the hospital - albeit on a step machine. But still, I was exhausted. And when I got home I thought a cup of tea would be just the thing. But the work involved in getting a simple cup of tea almost seemed overwhelming. With 2 good legs and working arms it's a snap. But when one of the legs is broken and one is already tired, it's almost overwhelming.

And I don't think Son #1 did any housework at all while I was a month in the hospital. He says he did and while I don't want to argue with him, I say he didn't. So when I walked -or rather wheeled into the house again, I wanted to cry at the amount of housework needed to make me feel comfortable. Not even my bed was good to sleep in. Destructo cat had let her displeasure at my disappearance be known and peed on the bed. I had Son #1 wash all the sheets but he didn't think to make the bed after that and I'm tired of constantly asking him to do things and at times I don't think think he's doing the life math - mother with broken leg can not make bed on her own.

So for the first several days I've been pretty depressed. I finally bit the bullet and asked my group of friends for help and the absolutely wonderful group they are, they are all have offered to help in one way or another. One of them has her own room mate who just underwent knee replacement surgery so she has her own patient to look after and I know from experience how tired and in pain her room mate is so she needs to take care of her. But even knowing that she is taking care of someone in similar circumstances helps.

I had the PSW come over yesterday to help me with my shower. Yep, I can't even shower by myself - think how slippery the tub can be and how scary it can be when both legs can't support you the way they are supposed too. I hadn't had a full shower since last Saturday - when in the hospital you only get a shower once a week - the rest of the time it's sponge baths, so while somewhat embarrassing having to have someone other than an approved member of the opposite sex see me nekkid as a jaybird, it did feel marvelous to be that clean again.

So all this is to say that I haven't blogged as I was sad and feeling sorry for myself and I couldn't seem to find my usual sense of humour and optimistic self. I haven't even been able to pick up a book to read!!! Now that makes things real serious. I've always read when things were looking gloomy (or happy, or happy or sad or scary or sunny or whatever). But things have turned a corner now thanks to good friends so it's much better. I leave you with what I think is the theme song of my life. Truly - this song has always really spoken to me and it was just on the radio and once more it really hit home


azteclady said...


I am so sorry that things are so hard right now--and it seems so pat to say that they'll get better (though they will).

It is so very good and totally *you* that you have such good friends willing to step in and help you out in this difficult time.

I understand your reluctance to ask your son for help with things that seem very basic to you (like making the bed or bringing you water or whatever), I honestly do--but some people do not have the caretaker instinct so that even when they want to help they don't quite know how.

When dealing with these people, spelling out exactly what one needs is the only way to get through.

Plus talking things out helps avoid the silent resentment that can grow on either (or both) sides, you know?

Here's sending you good healing thoughts--and hopefully some reading mojo!

Lea said...


Oh my, take care and if they haven't allowed you any home help via Home Care then maybe hire some? Maybe if you can get some of the issues that are bothering you around the house taken care of it will help?

Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts for a speedy recovery.


Kristie (J) said...

Lea: *laughing* Home Care is who I work for so I know what I qualify and what I don't qualify for. And I am taking advantage of what I do such as PSW. They don't do housecleaning, but I plan on getting a housecleaner very soon. I've thought of getting one for a number of years now, ever since Ron died, as it's something I'm just not very good at doing myself. And my friends are really helping. I think while I did realize it would be tougher when I got home, I didn't really comprehend just how much it would be, or how strong the urge for a smoke would be either!! The one area that hasn't been a problem is wanting junk food. If anything it's the opposite. I don't feel like eating anything these days but I have been good and have been eating healthy stuff.

AL: In a way it's good that son #1 (he's just recently discovered my blog and said if I named him by name he would be most upset though son #1 is fine) isn't doing a whole lot. It's forcing me to do stuff that I can do even though it would be much easier if he did it for me and that's good. The more independent I am, the better (or so I tell myself *g*) And he is helpful with with what I do ask him for. And we are getting along quite splendidly so I don't want that to change.
And today I feel better than I did yesterday and better yesterday than the day before. So I expect I`ll feel even better tomorrow. I just have to keep from ``getting stuck in that moment``

Jill Sorenson said...

Glad to hear you're home! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

CindyS said...


I'm so glad you asked for help - it's such a hard thing to do and yet your friends are always happy to help in any way possible.

Mama Smith had a helper for showering and she would wash her bedding for her also. That lady came in 3 times a week and Mom loved her. She did have a problem when someone other than her showed up as some were to brisk and weren't really helpful as much as wanting to get on with it.

I don't know if you have a pill organizer but they have them with AM and PM slots for each day of the week or Breakfast, lunch, dinner for the week. You could see if someone can pick one up for you and that way once a week you can fill up the sorter.

And I'm glad each day is getting better. Take care!


MsM (Elizabeth Jules Mason) said...

I am sorry things have been so hard for you. I can't imagine going through all that then have the frustration of regular housekeeping to deal with.
You hang in there! (((((hugs))))


nath said...

Hey Kristie!! I was wondering how you were doing! Good to hear from you! Sorry though that it's so hard!

Oh gosh, that sucks about DestructoCat!!

Hiring a housecleaner is a very good idea, Kristie :P and I'm glad you had such good friends :)

Leslie said...

Good to hear you're home. Too bad you had to come home to a bit of a mess. Agree that hiring some cleaning help would be good. One less thing for you to worry about and you can concentrate on getting better.

You have some wonderful friends, I'm sure you'd do the same for them. :)

Marcella said...

Good to hear you're home again and that people are willing to help. Even though it sucks having to ask people for help. Period.
Just take one day at the time and things will get better.
Wish you lots of strength, sweet cats and good books.

PS I won't say what I have to type in now for word verification but 1 letter makes all the difference between security and porn!

Penelope said...

Kristie....Feel better! I had a heart attack in August, and I know how frustrating it is to be reliant on others when you're used to taking care of everything yourself. Just give yourself time to slowly get better, and let your friends (and family) help out. Don't be nervous about asking for help...think of all the times you've helped others.

Good luck with your some old favorite romance novels...that will perk you up!

C2 said...

((((Kristie)))) Even with all the hassles, I'm sure it's nice to be home with all your stuff (and cats). :-D And it means your improving so yay! Still, it's nice having servants (heh...any nurses, etc. reading this - I joke! I kid!), isn't it?

Kwana said...

I'm glad you're home but sorry things are so hard. I hope they get better soon.

orannia said...


Am glad you're home but sorry to hear things are so hard. From your comments in things are a little better. I'm glad, and I hope things continue to improve.

And I love that U2 song...I used to listen to it a lot in the UK. Luckily I will get to see them live in concert next month!

Oh - are you watching the Commonwealth Games? Still hoping for a gold medal - we keep winning silvers (although don't get me wrong those are also good :)

Christine said...

Oh my goodness. Where have I been??!

(((( Kristie ))))
I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time!!! It is difficult for us women to ask help from our friends and even our own family members, so I'm so glad you did. You know you'd do it for someone else in a heartbeat, so most likely, others in your life are the same.

Feel better soon! xo

Wendy said...

::knock, knock, knock::


KristieJ, it's your blog. I am ever so lonely and feeling neglected. Please come visit me.

Oh, and Wendy's worried.

Tracy said...

I'm so glad you're home (I'm a bit delayed) but I'm sorry that the house wasn't up to par when you returned. Hopefully all those friends are still helping you and you feel more comfortable in your own home.

{{Big hug}}

CindyS said...

Cindy adds her worry to Wendy's

Come back!


Anonymous said...

Janet W in NorCal: Add me to the "hope you're OK list!" With the irony that life online sometimes lends, I read your home sweet home blog while I was visiting my mum in Sudbury, Ontario. She is rehabbing/recovering from a mini-stroke and when I read how hard it felt to make a cuppa when you returned home, what a task it was to get meds and sort them out ... well, my heart went out to you. I hope you let your friends help and as for the state of the house, I hear you! You know my mum is "supposed" to do her own wash on the rehab floor but my SIL is visiting & doing it. I have three children too & I've learned that kids don't do much if I'm not extremely clear and detailed about my expectations. Clearly you're going to need some extra TLC at home plus some housework that may be unusual too. Hope I'm not stepping out of line: I have just had a lot of family discussions with my own brothers about how best to be there for our mum.

Hope you're feeling stronger & take it easy on yourself!!

Holly said...

Hey Kristie,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately and sending lots of good thoughts your way. I know what it's like to be helpless, or for regular every day tasks to be uber difficult. The good news is that it does get better. Not that that helps much right now...

I haven't been commenting a lot lately, but I have been reading all your posts. I'm popping over to add my concern to everyone else's...WHERE ARE YOU?

We miss you.

Hope you're well.


Lisa Marie Wilkinson said...

Hi Kristie,
I always pop in to check on you, even if I don't leave a comment. The date of your last post is worrying me. I know everyone misses you and wishes you well. Take care, my friend, and may God (or the deity of your choice) speed your recovery and your return to your blog!

orannia said...

Just popping in to say and send more good wishes your way. Take care!

Blodeuedd said...

I am happy to hear that things are starting to look up, you have wonderful friends .)

Karenmc said...

Just wanted to add my voice to those who're hoping you're okay and will be back soon. Give a holler to us when you feel up to it.