This is my world right now - only it's darker

I wish I could report in and say I’m in a better place now, but I can’t.  Things haven’t gotten better for me, they’ve gotten worse.  As of Monday I’m going to be off work on a stress leave.  I never thought it would get this bad; that I would do this, but it has.

Four weeks ago I slipped and fell in the bathroom and tore some ligaments in my right leg.  If anyone else has done this, you will know it’s very painful.  It’s turned out to be much more painful even then the broken leg.  In health care they measure a person’s pain level on a scale from one to ten.  Mine has been between three and often up to eight continually.  The only time I’ve really been pain-free is when I’m asleep.  If I spend any length of time on my feet, it goes up to eight.  I’m going for physio 3 times a week and it’s helping a bit – but it’s going to take a long time to heal.

 

I’ve opened up in the past about not opening mail.  I’ve opened up about suffering from depression and now I’m going to confess something else that affects my life.  I’m a hoarder, only a recently acknowledged hoarder.  I’ve always found it difficult to get rid of things but in the past little while it’s escalated into something that’s becoming dangerous.  The reason I slipped and fell was clothes on my bathroom floor.  I have 2 bedrooms I can’t even really get into as they are so filled with ‘stuff’.  The bedroom I sleep in is getting worse daily.  I don’t have anyone over to my house any longer as I’m too ashamed as to how it looks.

 

The horrible part is I can’t seem to stop and make things better.  I had taken a few days’ vacation time a couple of weeks ago to try and make a dent but I’d fallen just before that and I couldn’t do it at all.  And since I have been in pain and not able to move about because of the leg it’s only escalated the mess and the hoarding situation.  I watch Hoarding, Buried Alive sometimes and I really feel for and sympathize with the hoarders.  I GET their anguish as I feel it myself.  I don’t know if I can let go of my ‘stuff’, I like to think I can but I don’t know.

I don’t have people over to the house any more as I’m so ashamed of what I’ve let happen.

So in this stress leave I’m taking the time to ‘fix’me.  I want to get on meds that work for depression.  There is an organization here in the city that helps with hoarders that I’ve been trying to get hold of and most important of all is I want to find a therapist who deals with people who suffer from depression.

 

I just want to stress again that this is an illness.  For those who have never suffered from it but may have friends or family that do, it’s not as simple as telling them to ‘pull up there bootstraps’ and ‘get over it’.  It’s a crippling condition in that self-loathing and hating who we are takes over our whole lives.  We tell ourselves and we believe that we are terrible mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, wives, husbands, sisters and brothers.  We tell ourselves that no one can possibly really love us as they don’t know us inside.  Depression is an enemy we can’t see, a foe that is difficult to battle as the enemy, the foe is our very selves.

So if I can offer advice to family and friends to loved ones with depression, don’t give up on them.  You will probably get very frustrated with them, but as frustrated as you are with them, know they are even more so.  I know you may get impatient at times, but try not to let them know as that makes things work.  Chances are whatever they may tell you about their depression, it may only be the tip of the iceberg.

 

Just be kind, be there, love them and know they are in pain and that it isn’t their choice to be this way.

I will get there and hopefully they will too.

Update

You will probably notice I've been absent for a while.  There are a couple of reasons.  Reason number 1 is it's very busy at work these days and I just don't have time to do blog posts lately.  This is good as it makes the days fly past, but alas, as my computer at home is down, it's difficult to do them from my Ipad.

Reason number 2 is a bit tougher.  They've also changed the schedule I work now.  One week I work 8 to 4, the next week 12 to 8.  I worried when about this when I heard what they were going to do and as it turns out, with good reason.  One of the things I need most to help with the depression is a steady routine.  I could handle it when I worked on later shift out of 8 but now with things changing every week, it's been very tough.  I don't know if I need different medication to help or what but I do know that what I'm taking now isn't working and the depression has come roaring back.

I have an appointment with my doctor coming up soon where I plan to discuss it with her and I also want her to recommend a good therapist I can see on a regular basis.  We do have a workplace plan and I've used it, but it's geared to a fast fix to the problem and I don't think there is a fast fix to this.

Thus the reason for my lack of regular blogging.  The spirit is willing and I keep thinking of things to blog about, but the heart isn't whole at this time.  Hopefully I will get back on track soon as I know I enjoy it so much.  But it's another casualty of this horrible thing called depression.  But I will say....

'til later

Recent Reads

Dirty Talk by Megan Erickson

Why This One: I discovered this author with the first book in this series and was very, very impressed, then got one of her back list about the first Payton brother.  It was a given I’d read this one when it came out – so much so that I preordered it.

Genre: Contemporary

Steam Level: Hot – but alas, not in a way I liked

Outline: When the one you shouldn't want is the one you can't resist...

Brent Payton works hard, plays hard, and has earned his ladies’ man reputation. But he’s more than just a good time, even though no one seems to see it. Until a gorgeous brunette with knockout curves and big, thoughtful eyes walks into his family’s garage and makes Brent want more.

Ivy Dawn and her sister are done with men, all of them. They’ve uprooted their lives too many times on account of the opposite sex, but that’s over now. The plan seems easy until a sexy, dirty-taking mechanic bursts in Ivy’s life and shakes everything up.

Brent can’t resist the one person who sees past his devil-may-care façade, and Ivy finds it harder and harder to deny how happy he makes her. But she has secrets of her own and when the truth comes out, she must decide if she’ll run again or if she’ll take a chance on forever.

My thoughts: I was blown away by how much I enjoyed the first book in this series, Dirty Thoughts.  I loved everything about it, the blue collar hero, the fact he’s a grouchy bear type, the fact he and the heroine had had a previous relationship that neither really got rid of.  Brent Payton, the younger brother and hero of Dirty Talk had quite a large role so I wanted to read his story.  I happened to see Megan Erickson at RWA at a signing and told her how much I love the first book and she was telling me a bit about this one and how she loved the character of Brent.

Alas, I didn’t feel the love as much for Brent as I did for Cal.  Brent didn’t have the grouchy bearness of his big brother.  In fact he was quite the player.  That should have been a bit of a warning.  If this had been a historical, he would have been considered a rake and one of the reasons I don’t read as many historical is because of the number of rakes.

Brent, our hero, meets Ivy, our heroine when she visits the garage he works at with his brothers to visit Alex, her sister and the newest employee of Payton and Sons.  Brent is smitten right out of the gate and Ivy is smitten right back.  But she and Alex have made a vow to each other – NO MORE MEN!  They’ve both been stung in the past, Ivy when her former love abandoned her when she got pregnant with little Violet.

Gack – I hate doing this but there were a number of things that bothered me about this book. 

• I didn’t really feel a love connection between the two of them, more of a lust connection.

• He kept thinking about how small her hands were to the point I was almost picturing them as a character of their own – that her hands were way too small for the rest of her body.

• Alex and Ivy running at the drop of a hat.  Sure Alex’s former beau turned out to be a real rat bastard, but I think the fact that they both moved away and were more than willing to run again struck me as quite immature.

• Violet was way too sugary sweet.  Writing children in romance books is a very difficult thing to do and if the author doesn’t put in some brattiness, the child doesn’t come across as ‘real’.

• Brent did way too much mental lusting.  It got old after a while.  I’d rather he have spent more time thinking and getting to know the inside then the outside.  I think if he had done that, he probably would have found her too child-like in her way of dealing with life.

• I don’t really care for player type heroes – or heroines for that matter.  If they are regretful about it, they have chance at redemption for me, but Brent never did.
• And in a completely and utterly unfair thing - that's the same name as my oldest son and at times it was just kind of odd to read about what a player Brent was

I’m so sad I felt this way about this book considering how much I loved the first book as well as Make it Right – the story of Max Payton and part of another series she’s written, the Bowler University series.  And as a big plus, I did love that Brent is another blue collar type hero.  And the fact that this book didn’t work for me as well as the other two won’t keep me from reading her next planned book in this series or other books she’s written.  I think she’s a good writer, it’s just that this book wasn’t one of my favourites.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5

Would I read again: Maybe

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Grayson’s Vow by Mia Sheridan

Why this one: I LOVE Mia Sheridan’s books!!  In fact if you look to the right, Archer’s Voice is right up there as one of the best books I’ve read in a number of years.  She is an automatic autobuy author

Genre: Contemporary

Steam Level: there were only a couple towards the end, but they flowed beautifully with the story and were perfect

Outline: Kira Dallaire is desperate.

Some challenges in life seem too hard to overcome. With little money, and even fewer options, the quick-witted and vibrant twenty-two-year-old needs to reinvent herself. Known for her generous heart and impulsive personality, she devises a survival plan, possibly her most outrageous idea yet.

Grayson Hawthorn is losing hope.

Some obstacles in life seem too hard to overcome. Betrayal definitely being one of them. With limited capital, and dwindling resources, he is attempting to resurrect his failing family vineyard, a self-imposed vow seemingly destined to fail. That is until a young woman enters his office with an outlandish, unexpected proposition impossible to refuse.

What begins as a temporary business arrangement, soon evolves into more as vivacious, spirited Kira challenges detached, arrogant Grayson to want more from life. To want more for himself. But as their wills clash and fiery passion ignites, they'll realize that sometimes the past creates walls too difficult to climb, and that lies and deception rarely precede a happily ever after.

As Kira and Grayson race toward their destiny, they will discover that some vows are meant to be broken, and others are worth risking everything for . . . even your very own heart.

My Thoughts: I started this book about 5:00 last night.  I didn’t turn on the TV, I was too busy reading.  I sat in the dark I was too busy reading.  I stayed up way past time to head to Zzzzz land I was too busy reading.  Finally my IPad ran out of juice and turned itself off.  I plugged it in and headed to bed.  I woke up at 2:30 am with my IPad 47% charged and finally finished the book.  When I get out of bed in the middle of the night – when I’ve been ASLEEP, that means it’s a Very Good Book.

This one grabbed me from page 2 and didn’t let go until I finished it.  Kira is the kind of heroine you can’t help routing for.  She’s gone through some real bad shit; you get to see how bad it gets as you read along, but instead of it getting her down, she pulls herself up, brushes herself off and starts all over again with one wild scheme after another.  At the beginning we meet her as she’s in a bank when she overhears a conversation between a banker and a man whose name she recognizes as someone from her past though she’s never met him.  We discover the connection later in the book.  But the client, Grayson, is being turned down for a loan and she feels a sense of almost responsibility.  When she later spies him giving what little money he seems to have to a homeless person, she’s decided on her next plan.  You see, though she is homeless at the time, she is soon going to inherit a great deal of money upon her marriage.  Grayson needs a great deal of money to try and bring the dying winery he inherited back to the place it once was.  She visits Grayson and proposes they marry for a few months so she can get her inheritance and she will split it 50/50 with Grayson, allowing him to do the needed work on the winery.

Grayson very reluctantly agrees to it, thinking she’s just a spoiled little rich girl who needs the money to indulge herself having already spent the allowance ‘daddy’ has given her and treats her quite rudely as a result.  Of course things couldn’t be further from his first impression and as the story moves along, he is proven wrong again and again as he gets to know her better.

Kira on her part, is starting to develop deeper and deeper feelings for Grayson as she gets to know his very sad childhood.  She has such a loving heart that she almost feels his pain, having shared many of same kind of pain herself, but that doesn’t keep her from calling him out when he goes overboard on his cynicism.

I adore Kira as a heroine.  Grayson is a bit harder to warm up to.  He pulls some, what seems to me, to be very cruel stunts.  Yes, he has his reasons for his bitterness, but he gets carried away a bit too often.  But the Kira love I have evens things out somewhat.  She is young, only 22, but because of all she had gone through, it was quite a mature 22.

I still preferred Archer’s Voice a little bit more than this one.  Ms. Sheridan piles it on a little too thick on the pain she inflicts on Grayson, but she is one of the best authors I’ve read at making us feel the emotional pain the hero/heroine feel.  Maybe it’s because of the first person, alternating characters of the way she writes.  We get into both their heads throughout.  So while I thought this was a wonderful read – I read in one and a half sitting – and will give it a thumbs up and shout “Read it, It’s such a Good Book” Grayson’s Vow gets a 4.75.

Grade: 4.75 out of 5

Would I read it again: Absolutely!!

And yet another wonderful EAuthor

Mia Sheridan

You will find a couple of pictures of her books down the side bar.  Archer's Voice as SO good that I knew I had to read more of her books.  And every one I've read since then has been equally amazing.  I have three more besides the following books yet to read.  I started reading Kyland, but I didn't have any tissues with me.  I was barely into when I knew it was going to be a tear jerker of the highest degree.  I'm just waiting for a time when I'm ready to read something that emotional.  I also have Becoming Calder and Finding Eden and I honestly don't know why I haven't inhaled them yet.  That will happen very soon.  I'm looking at my grades of the ones I have read and each one is 5 out of 5.  You can't get a whole lot better than that can you?


Leo by Mia Sheridan



I’ve read a few books by Mia Sheridan and I’ve LOOOVVVVED them. I read Leo last year but failed to do a review. Well, I simply have to fix that as I want everyone to give at least one of her books a chance. And since I didn’t want to do a review on Leo from memory, well I had to read it again didn’t I?
Boy oh boy does Ms. Sheridan excel at writing emotional books. She makes the characters so real, you feel what they feel, you hurt when they hurt and you feel joy when they feel joy.

Evelyn or Evie has had a real rotten life. She was taken away from her drug addicted mother when she was young and put into foster care. She lived in a number of foster homes and they were negligent at best, none a good loving home. She wore hand-me-downs and was bullied at school. Her one bright spot was Leo. He was her best friend, her protector and light in a dark world. At first they are both in the same home, but then they each go to a different home though they keep in close touch and go to school together. Then Leo is adopted and his new family is moving to another state. They are just at the threshold of experiencing deep romantic feelings for each other and vow to stay in touch until they are both 18 and can be together.

Told entirely in the present tense, first person from Evie, we can feel her love for ‘her’ Leo told in flashbacks throughout the book. We feel her pain and confusion and loss when she never hears back from his after he leaves.

The book opens years later. Evie has made a good life for herself. While she doesn’t have a sterling type career, she is content to work as a maid at a hotel and working part time in a catering business. Considering where she came from, she is living a good life with good friends. When the book starts, she is noticing she has a follower, some guy is following her around and when she finally tricks and confronts him, she sees he’s an extremely good looking guy named Jake. He tells her he was a friend of Leo’s who asked that Jake check up on her. Evie quickly picks up on the past tense and calls him on it. He tells her Leo died in a car accident and Evie is devastated. But there is a connection between her and Jake and it develops into a deep love. I’m not going to say anything more on the story itself to avoid spoilers. But what I will say is Evie is SUCH a wonderful heroine. She has retained an innocence despite her childhood and look for the best in everyone. People are naturally drawn to her from the gruff neighbor in the apartment across the hall to an old neighbor where she lived for a while during her childhood. She is kind but in no way annoyingly so. She is a special kind of person but doesn’t see herself that way.

Jake is a great hero – for the most part. He gets a bit pushy with Evie in a couple of places, but there is no doubt he is completely and utterly hers for the asking. He’s rich and successful and he just wants to help Evie, though Evie doesn’t want it. This isn’t a long book but oh, it is mighty. For me, it richly deserves the five stars I’m giving it. It’s the first of two closely connected books – but I will let you figure out what the other book is.

Archer's Voice by Mia Sheridan


I have found some real gems written by lesser known, epublished authors and my, oh my is Archer’s Voice by Mia Sheridan one of those real high quality gems. This book just hit all my treasured book buttons. Wounded hero – check, interesting and different story – check, good heroine, check, interesting secondary characters, and check!
Bree Prescott is running away from some bad stuff in her life and lands in the small town of Pelion Maine. Her father was murdered in front of her and his murderer then attempted to sexually assault Bree. She suffers from PTSD with bad flashbacks. She settles into Pelion, gets a job as the morning waitress at a local diner and begins making friends. She meets our hero Archer Hale when she drops her purse in front of him, loses all the contents and he helps her pick them up. She is fascinated with this silent, scruffy young man and begins asking around town about him. His story is devastatingly sad. He came from an abused household and when his mother and uncle try to run away together, they are killed along with his father in a car accident in which he is a passenger. As a result of the accident, his vocal chords are damaged and he is unable to speak. He was raised after by his loony, paranoid uncle and after his uncle dies is alone. He lives in a house out in the woods and has very little contact with the people of the town. Most of them think he is simple but Bree, after visiting his home in the woods, discovers that he is, in fact, a very intelligent man and because her father was deaf, she can communicate very well with him through sign language which Archer taught himself through books. Because he has been so isolated all his life, he is very naïve and innocent and wary of others. He reminds me in some ways of one of my favourite heroes’, Michael MacNeil from Patricia Gaffney’s Wild at Heart, a book I’ve read numerous times.

Bree and Archer slowly fall deeply in love, though there are complications, one of them being Travis Hale, Archer’s cousin and a local police officer. He wants Bree for himself and is willing to play nasty tricks on Archer to achieve this.

I love, love, love this book and I know I’ll be reading and rereading it. Archer is a simply breathtaking hero and I adore him. He breaks my heart and I had to put the book down a couple of times just because I felt his pain so deeply and had to take a couple minutes break. When I put a book down for that reason – well – it’s a goooodddd thing.

As much as I adore and love Archer, I also love Bree. She has her own demons to deal with and she and Archer help each other through some of them. Other than one instance, instigated by Travis to cause trouble, when she isn’t sure about something, she talks to Archer about it so other than the one understandable one, there are no big misunderstandings that can so frustrate a reader. And like Michael MacNeil, Archer is a virgin hero and Bree is the one with more experience. After things are straightened out though, things progress along very well.

I know not every reader goes along with this kind of idea, but to me, Archer and Bree are soul mates, destined to meet and complete and heal each other. And again I know this one may not work as well for every reader as it’s a sweet book – not in a sickly way – not at all; I can’t stand those at all myself, but more as a tender way. This book hit all my requirements for a keeper book and when I finished it, I knew I would be revisiting Archer and Bree. Soon.

This book is written in first person with alternating POV, though more of them are from Bree's. I've quite gotten used to this style now after skipping it for years and you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. I like this style

I think this may be categorized as Young Adult as the lead characters are both quite young. I have read a number of this genre now and can quite honestly and happily say that even though I am far, far, far from a young adult - not even my children would be called that now, I am really enjoying most of what I've read so far. Keep them coming! I first read about this book on All About Romance



Stinger by Mia Sheridan

Hmmm - I didn't do a review on this one - what an oversight.  I shall have to try and do one from memory.

Grace Hamilton was the girl with a plan. She knew exactly where her life was going and prided herself on always achieving her goals. It was who she was, and how she lived her life. She never stepped outside the lines, and never considered what she might desire and whom she was actually trying so hard to please. Until him . . .

Carson Stinger was a man who didn't play by any rules except his own. Working in the adult entertainment industry, he didn't care what others thought, and took each day as it came, no direction, no plan. He knew what women wanted from him and believed it was all he had to offer. Until her . . .

When circumstances forced them to spend several hours together, they walked away changed. But for two people who never should have meshed, overcoming the reality of their vastly different lives wasn't possible. At least not yet . . .
I found this book unique.  For one thing the hero was a porn star.  Well, he wasn't exactly a star, he'd only done one or two movies, but he did intend to make a career of doing this.  But a chance encounter with Grace had him reconsidering his whole life.  They met a conference in Vegas; she was at a lawyer conference and he was at an adult entertainment conference.  They were drawn to each other right off the bat and ended up spending the weekend in a conference of two.  This was NOT how Grace rolled and at the end of the weekend, they walked away from each other.  But neither forgot the other over the years and as I said earlier, this was a catalyst for Stinger to do a 180 in his life.  He joined the Marines very shortly after and went on to become a SEAL.

He does drop in to see Grace but sees her with another man and figures it just wasn't meant to be.  They run into each other a few years later.  Stinger is out of the armed forces and working kind of under the law helping young women.  When he and Grace meet again, it's almost as if the years hadn't happened.  The feelings were still there and while there were still obstacles, they slowly overcame these while working together.

Now that I've just written this it reminds me it's been a while since I read this book and now I know what I'm going to read when I get home!!



Leo's Chance by Mia Sheridan


I tried very hard not to give any spoilers in Leo, but if you are reading this, then the cat is out of the bag. Yes, Jake from Leo is indeed Leo and this is his side of the love story between Evie and himself told entirely from his POV in first person.

Many of the scenes are exactly the same as in Leo, even down to the same conversations and one might think this a waste of time. Such a one would be mistaken. Instead I find it adds richness to their love story, seeing the same scene from both sides. And Leo doesn’t seem to be quite so bossy with Evie as he does in the first book. I think it’s because they are in such different places in the relationship. In Leo, which is Evie’s book, it’s a new connection with Jake, so some of his requests/demands seem kind of dictatorial, while in Leo’s Chance, Leo is completely aware of the relationship and it’s a long one. He’s always been very protective of her.
In Leo, we get to ‘hear’ what happened and why he didn’t keep in touch with Evie when he tells her near the end of the book, but in Leo’s Chance, we get to feel what he felt, how it damaged and warped his sense of self-worth and while we may not agree with why he kept his identity a secret, we at least understand him better. We feel the impact sexual abuse can have on an already damaged soul because the story is told in first person.

Having this story told in two books with two different points of view gives it an even deeper quality to a very well written emotional read. I’m in awe of how Ms. Sheridan grabs the reader and seems to take us right along on the journey with the characters. I get more emotionally involved with her books, certainly this one then many another book and that’s a very good thing. Another well written five star book by this author.


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Update

I don't know why I never got around to actually posting this one.  I did write it quite some time ago.  I think what happened is I started it, realized I put it to bed for a while so I could reread Stinger and then a review of it and then post.

In the meantime I have 4 more books by Ms. Sheridan.  I started one of them Kyland, but had to put it aside for a bit - in a completely wonderful way.  It was SO well written that I was feeling the despair of the hero and heroine and as this was when I was in my depression, I couldn't take it at the time - feeling it too much.  Now that I'm doing better, I plan on going back to it.

I also have Finding Eden and Becoming Calder to read.  I think depression and feeling an amazingly realistic emotional read was too much at the time.  So I also have them coming up.

And I've just written a review of her newest book, Grayson's Heart.  I was about to post it and I was looking for the link to the Archer's Voice I had done, only to discover I still had in draft!!

So here you go - One of my VERY FAVOURITE NEW TO ME AUTHORS

Random Ramblings

I follow Sarah of Smart Bitches on Twitter.  She tweets about books that are on sale and if it’s a book, I’m a masochist and I will check it out.  ‘Masochist?” you are thinking.  “What gives there?”

You see, inevitably when I check, the Most Excellent Price is only for the US romance readers and there is no break if one is buying from Amazon.ca or any other Amazon apart from Amazon.com.  I usually get annoyed, sometimes more than annoyed and sometime VERY annoyed depending on how bad I want the book.  But last night it was to the point of painful.  Years and years ago I read Keeper of the Dream by Penelope Williamson and LOVED it. 

I’ve read it a few times since that first read and it’s one of those books I check every few months to see if I can get it as an ebook.  It’s one of my top keeper books.  Last night Sarah tweeted it was on for $1.99 at Kobo.  So holding my breath and crossing my fingers, I clicked over.

 

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Not only was it NOT $1.99, it was $14.99.  I’ve been giving in a bit more and paying higher than I want for some of my very favourites but there’s not a chance in hell I can justify to my inner “I’ll get anything I want to get” goddess.  Knowing that less than an hour away I could have got it for the promised $1.99 hurts like a sonofabitch!  I have the paperback........somewhere amongst my 36 boxes of books.  But now the urge to read it is coming over me so I might have to start digging through them.

 <<<***>>> <<<***>>>

I think it’s time I either gave up or start digging deeper!  When I went to RWA I was determined to get a minimum number of print books.  Well, best laid plans and all that, I ended up getting considerably more than I planned so I ended up shipping a box home.  It wasn’t a large box and I packed the ones I had wanted the most into my suitcase and carry on bags.  But the box never came.  For weeks after I’d eagerly come home hoping to see the box on the porch or at least a notice stuck on my door that the box was waiting at the nearest Fed-Ex depot.

But alas, no box and no notice have arrived.  And I’ve no idea where I would have put the shipping slip.  It’s time I either start looking all over for it and do everything I can to locate the box of books or just accept the fact it’s gone.

And in a very related kind of experience, I gave kudos’ at the time to Avon for giving out cards where we could download ebooks of all their print books.  I picked up a bunch and kind of sat around with them for a few weeks.  Then I decided to start downloading before they expired.  But another alas.  Some of them, not any of the Avon books, had expired before I got ‘round to it.  The Avon books are a different kettle of fish.  I have to download a special app to get the books and as I have the original Ipad, it’s not ‘strong’ enough to support the app and not updated.  I do have an Acer tablet that should do the trick – BUT (there always seems to be a but when it comes to me and technology) the power is almost all gone – the red line is showing.  And I seem to have misplaced the correct charger. 

I do have some other charges that fit and I’ve tried charging the Acer table with them, but the charge doesn’t take.  This is something else I’m going to have to go ‘on the hunt’ for.  I don’t like going on hunting expeditions.  I like things to be nice and close and for life to be nice and simple.  It seldom is though.

 

 

 

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I’ve been ordering a lot of books lately from Amazon.  Unfortunately it came up with the dreaded “action required”  I took this to mean I hadn’t paid my Visa bill in time so I stopped at the bank machine last week and paid quite a sum but I was still coming up with the same “action required” notice.  I thought perhaps it needed 3 business days to go through but even after the 3 days it still didn’t seem to work.  So last night I stopped at the bank machine again last night.  This time there was no fancy way of asking what I wanted and I clued in – all the money I thought I was putting on my VISA credit card was actually going to my VISA line of credit. 

Now that is down considerably now but alas it wasn’t doing a whole lot of good for my credit card.  Never fear though.  Things were all good this morning but man I bought a lot of books over the past 7 days or so.  BookBub and Amazon have been having some great sales!  It was kind of like an odd birthday present.

I almost made up for the box of books I didn’t get and the ONE EBOOK I REALLY WANTED.  Almost.

 

‘til later

I really debated on doing this post today.  I know what September 11 means to the world.  I will never forget the deep boned chill we all felt on that morning.  But in a way it’s almost timely as I don’t want past mistakes coming back and I can see that happening in the world today.

I’m normally very light hearted in blogging but today I am not.  This is going to be long and probably rambling but I only hope I can get my point across.  I am very worried about Canada’s neighbours to the south.

We here in Canada are also facing an election soon.  I don’t imagine it’s even on the radar of the average American but our day to vote for a leader is Oct 19/2015.  We have 3 major parties; the Conservatives led by Stephen Harper have been in power since 2005.  The closest they can be compared to in American parties would be the Republican Party, though there are many differences.  The Liberals are led by Justin Trudeau, the son of a popular previous Liberal party leader Pierre Trudeau.  The third main party is the New Democratic Party which is known more as a labour or union party.  While they have held power in various provinces, they have never led the country.

There are a few fringe parties to, the most well-known being the Green party which sprang from environmental issues.

I'm sure this brief synopsis would horrify many but I've tried to make it simple and up to even my limited understanding.

In the past I’ve voted for all three at one time or another and I’ve been trying to decide which one to vote for this time round but the one I know I absolutely will not vote for is the Conservative Party.  They have been in long enough and the longer a party has power, I truly believe the more corrupt they become and there are a number of things not adding up with Stephen Harper and his team.

But the big issue lately and the biggest reason I refuse to vote for him, and the issue that saddens me so much about the United States is the refugee crisis going on right now in Europe with the refugees from Arab countries, mostly Syria, but also other Arab nations.

These people are fleeing the leaders of the country; they are fleeing the terrorists that have risen up because of the civil war that has gone on for five years now.  This is a nation whose leaders have turned on its people to the extent of using poisonous gas on them.

So many are fleeing for their lives now, headed towards Europe by the hundreds of thousands.  This has become the biggestrefugee crisis situations since World War 11 and some European countries are lining up tohelp them.

The vast majority of Canadians want to help, we want to take them in but Stephen Harper up until the last day or so has been dragging his feet and it has now become the biggest political issue of the lead up the elections.  I refuse to vote for a person who is so hard hearted as to ignore what’s going on.  He cites the need for scrutinizing for terrorists but that is bogus.  What is seems to have become is an anti-Islam stance and I’m embarrassed at such a thing happening in the country I live in.  Before all else these are people.  People who are suffering.  People who are leaving everything behind them to seek a safe place to live.  People who risk their lives to escape horrors we can’t even imagine.

The other potential leaders have promised to do more.  Even if Stephen Harper changes his stance now, it’s too late.  The change would only be to try and stay in power and that has the opposite effect on me.

So now I’m starting to get to the crux of what I find so disturbing.  I watch a lot of news both Canadian and America.  I don’t get Fox News but I do get CNN and I am so very discouraged that this world crisis is barely even mentioned.  Instead the vast majority of the news seems to focus on the upcoming American elections which don’t even happen until 20016.  A lot can happen.

I’m discouraged that Donald Trump seems to be doing so well.  This frightens me.  I get that he is different from you average politician and many voters in both the US and Canada are sick of the average politician.  I get that - I am too.  But he is a buffoon, a dangerous buffoon.  He is an egomaniac and a narcissist.  I listened to a telephone interview on CNN last night and it was scary.

While it pains me no end that the refugee situation is barely mentioned in main stream news in the US, what I am certain of is that he would be opposed to offering shelter to these people.

Canada is offering to take in 10,000 refugees in the next four years.  There are 10,000 people A DAY looking for safety.  We need to take in so many, many more.  This is a humanitarian crisis.  There is a ground swell of regular Canadians looking do what they can to increase the numbers; sponsoring people, welcoming relatives of Syrians and other troubles Arabic peoples already living in Canada.  We don’t care if they are of a different religion and culture; they need help desperately and they need it now.

How many is the American government willing to take?  It’s hard to find out since this isn’t even on the radar of mainstreamAmerican news, but what I could find out, it’s 10,000.  That is the same number as Canada where the United States is 10 times larger in population.

Think of what both Canada and United States were born from.  They were born from people running from persecution.  Well there are people today running from the same thing.  I wish with all my heart that the US media/government would get their heads out of their own navels and look around.

Many of the catastrophes going on are the end result of the American governments meddling in years past.  Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya – are any of these countries better off now?

Is the world a safer place?  Or has it become cold and fractured with hate filled groups rising up all around?

There were many of Arab descent also killed in the Twin Towers in 9-11.  We can’t let fear mongering that has been propagated for personal gain – and that is what a lot of it is – rule us and rob of us of our humanity and compassion.

Anyone reading this, I urge you to look into what is going on outside of your own borders.  Be the compassionate people I know you are.  Start living in the world, not your own nation governed and ruled by media.

I’m sure I may stir some people up with anger, but I hurt when I see what is going on and I simple can’t stay silent.

Although - on the Plus Side

when I get home from the long, long days of hell at work, I've been watching the Blue Jays and my goodness they've been ever so much fun to watch




Still here

But I've been on the late shift and it's been a crazy, nutty, bad but mostly long, long, long week.  All I can say about it is.......

 

 

Hopefully I'll be back with more pizazz soon! 

Recent Reads

Suddenly One Summer by Julie James

 Genre: Contemporary

 Why this one: I’ve been a fan of her books since her very first book

 Steam Level:  You will need to blow on this one before taking that first sip

 Outline:  Divorce lawyer Victoria Slade has seen enough unhappy endings to swear off marriage forever. That doesn't mean she's opposed to casual dating—just not with her cocky new neighbor, who is as gorgeous and tempting as he is off-limits. But once she agrees to take on his sister's case, she's as determined to win as ever—even if that means teaming up with Ford....

Investigative journalist Ford Dixon is bent on finding the man who got his sister pregnant and left her high and dry. He's willing to partner with Victoria, despite the fact that the beautiful brunette gets under his skin like no other woman. He might not be looking to settle down, but there's no denying the scorching attraction between them. Still, the more time he spends with Victoria, the more he realizes that the one woman as skeptical about love as he is might be the only woman he could really fall for…

 

My Thoughts: Ms. James has been an autobuy author since book 1.  I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with her a number of times now at conferences and I confess to a bit of a girl crush.  She’s friendly and warm and a very nice person.  But I found this out AFTER I’d read a few of her books so no conflict on how to do a review of a book by an author I’ve met and maybe not like the book so much.  While some I’ve liked more than others, I have enjoyed all of them.

This book is one of my favourites so far.  I found it just delightful and a few places, while in public, found myself snickering out loud unexpectedly.  I love a book that makes me do that.

One of the things Ms. James excels at is writing smart, quick witted and very likeable heroes and heroines and Victoria and Ford are no exception.  Both are very wary of getting into “relationships” – ugly word that – because of issues from growing up.  Victoria in particular had it tough and in her profession as a divorce attorney she sees people and dying marriages at their very worst so she’s very understandably leery.

And Ford doesn’t want anything lasting either.  He has enough with his family.  But as the outline says, sparks fly and neither can deny that the other is growing on them.  Victoria is brought into Fords orbit when she unexpectedly agrees to help his younger sister find the father of her baby and the dialogue between Victoria and Ford is sharp and quick and wickedly funny.

If you are a Julie James fan or even on the fence about this one – go for it!  It’s not often I pay as much for an ebook as I paid for this one – being the cheapy that I am, but I didn’t begrudge the extra money spent on this book one little bit.

Would I read this one again:  Just doing up this review makes me want to read it again so the answer is a resounding YES!

Grade: 4.75 out of 5

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The One You Want by Gena Showalter

Genre: Contemporary

Why this one:  I read a couple of paranormals and while they didn’t work for me, it wasn’t so much the writing and plus this one was on for a real good price…..

Steam Level: Again, a few minutes may be needed for it to cool down before taking a sip

Outline: Rich, powerful and utterly untamable, Dane Michaelson is every woman's darkest fantasy. When he returns to his hometown to witness his father's upcoming nuptials, he is unprepared for the redheaded beauty soon to become his stepsister. He's never wanted anyone more.

Kenna Starr has no desire to join the long list of women on rotation in Dane's bedroom. The single mom learned the hard way—bad boys do bad things, and someone always gets hurt. But Dane isn't fighting fair. With every heated look, stolen kiss and illicit caress, he melts her defenses.

Soon, the girl with the rep and the man who claims to be heartless are locked in a passionate affair. But when trouble arises, will they stand together or fall apart?

My Thoughts: I read this one very shortly after reading Suddenly One Summer and while I liked this one, it didn’t have quite the bang for me as the other book.  It had shades of other books –ABSOLUTELY NOT that it was intentional or anything but the hero/heroine reminded me somewhat of Gray and Faith from Linda Howards After the Night.  Dane’s father and Kenna’s mother were involved when they were young; destroying both families and Dane took his pain out on Kenna treating her unfairly.  He has a lot of anger towards his father for the way his dad treated the family.  She’s had a bit of crush on him but it was quickly dashed by that event.  Dane is now a very successful businessman.  Here the two books diverge as it doesn’t take Dane long before he’s sure that Kenna is the woman for him.  Kenna however isn’t buying it.  She can’t really see why he seems set on her.  She was hurt very badly years earlier and after the incident with Dane.  Her mother is a bitch to her and she’s grown up to be pretty wild.  She’s slow to trust Dane, but with good reason. 

Would I read this one again:  Possibly, very possibly  The odd would be better if only I could quit buying books.

Grade: 3.75 out of 5

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Seduced by Molly O’Keefe

Why this one: Wendy talked it up at RWA and as it’s a Western and a good price…….

Genre: Historical Western

Steam Level: good kind of heat to sit around a campfire by

Outline: Melody Hurst’s days as a Southern belle are over. Now she’s widowed and alone in the foothills of the Rockies, struggling to make a life in a dangerous world. She’s determined to secure a future by marrying – but love is out of the question.

Cole Baywood has turned bounty hunter after serving in the horrors of the Civil War, but the ghosts of the men and women he’s killed still haunt him. He’s drawn to the beautiful widow trying to seduce him, only the darkness in his soul forces him to reject her. Is it possible that Melody’s touch can heal the demons of his past? And how can he convince a woman who has lost so much to risk her heart?

My Thoughts: Hmmmmm.  I’ve read some really good Westerns so far this year so far, Outlaw Hearts and Do Not Forsake Me by Roseanne Bittner being the crème de la crème and while Seduced was ok, it didn’t even come close to the Bittner books for me.  I didn’t really warm up to either Cole or Melody that much.  I get that Melody was beaten and warn down by an abusive husband and thinks were much worse in those days, but I just didn’t really get her willingness to go along the her husband’s evil plans.  And if I couldn’t buy into that, the rest of the book fell somewhat flat.  I felt that Cole wasn’t really fully drawn as a character.  This is rather a short story at 167 pages and I felt it could have been much better if the author had made it longer with more rounded characters.  Also she brought in four characters right off the bat, Melody and her sister Annie and Cole and his brother Steven.  I got confused for a while with so many characters all seemingly the lead characters until I managed to sort out who was who and who would be with who.

I bought the second book in the series, Tempted and I do believe there is a third book and I will also read both of them, just to finish off the story but *heavy sigh* alas, this author is just one I can’t get completely on board with.  As I said, it wasn’t bad, but the ‘could have been’ knocked it down some in grades for me.

Would I read it again:  Probably not

Grade: 3 out of 5

Well - that's it for now.  I think 3 is a nice number

'til later