Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Coming to you from the Lovely London Hospital


And thank you Lisa for the update. I don't know how lucid I will be as at the moment I'm enjoying the lovely side effects of major painkillers like morphine and percocets and being very damned glad we have free health care in this country.

Yes indeed, I did fight the war and plywood won. Last Tuesday morning - not yesterday but a week ago yesterday I was rushing down the stairs and neglected to move the plywood at the bootom, followed by 2 cdn flags and a full size plywood door and just step over the one piece. HA!! An accident waiting to happen it was. I tripped and fell and RIGHT AWAY knew I'd broken my leg in a couple of places - NOT like one of the paramedics suggested and sprained my foot!! It was about 7:45 and Brent was working a 12 hour shift that day. I was down for the day I tell you, COULD NOT MOVE AT ALL. Around 10:30 shock started hitting and and I got a very good case of the shakes. And all I had on was underpants. I don't normally call it that word - I use underWEAR but I don't wan't anyone thinking I had a bra on. It was downstairs in the dryer I didn't mke it to along with all my other clothes. So I managed to pull the candadian flags down and wrap them around myself trying to keep warm while I watited and prayed for someone to show up. 'Cause it was cold and I hAD THE shakes even though it was one of the hottest days of the year. In between waves of pain, I was thinking this would make a great story - me losing the battle to plywood, me wrapped up in not 1 but 2 good old patriotic Canadian flags to try and keep warm until help arrived. I did hear the lawn care guy and started yelling at one point. But I had the air on and they had their mowers on and didn't hear me.

But finally around 1:30 an angel arrived. You see, the phone had been ringing all morning, but since I had a BROKEN LEG I couldn't answer it. They had been worried about me at work since I hadn't called in sick - I aways do that and they were just about to call a meeting with HR to see about sending someone over to see if I was OK. (have a meeting? I dearly loved this place I work but they are meeting crazy. Allison said screw it - it was lunch hour and she was just going to drive over. Thankfully Brent hadn't left the door locked when he left for work and she heard me screaming and she just walked right in!! After asking her if she could get me a cigarette - it had been some long trying hours, though I've decided now is th perfect time to quit, I asked her to call an ambulance, that I couldn't move my leg and I'd broken it and asked her to get my my housecoat so I could at least cover the Canadian Flags when the paramedics arrived. I'm not sure how long it took, but it didn't seem long at all. Sadly though, they decided that I was in such a situation (bottom of the stairs, couldn't move, broken leg, that they would have to call the firemen. Did they have to I asked?? I mean they would probably see stuff that I didn't want complete strangers to see! The one paramedic answered they'd seen just about all of it, at which I replied probably so, but they hadn't seen mine! Pain was most likely making me mouthy. SIX firemen showed up - note firemen - not firewomen who could relate to the humiliations of being caught with no drawers on and no bra - I mean just drawers - drawers are undepants aren'y they. I didn't notice if any of them were gorgesous or not - the firemen - ntot the drawers or bras. I was next to naked, wrapped up in two Canadian flags and in quite severe pain. Though I do remember thinking one slightly resembeled Tiger Woods - with a MUCH better hair style. I' ve always thought Tigers hair was missing something and just a very meh style. Now of course we realize it was a brain to go under that hat.

|But - this is too good a story to write all in one night and the really good meds are obviously showing their disavantages. But I'm back blogging and will finish up next time!

26 comments:

Lori said...

So glad to hear you're ok!! And, well, you sure will have a story to tell the ol' grandkids, won't you? Hey kids, did you ever hear about the time Grandma flashed the firemen?

You stay healthy, and get home soon!

azteclady said...

Oh Kristie, only you could have me crying with laughter about something so dire as a broken leg!

(((Kristie)))

I am so happy you are getting the good, lovely drugs, woman, and keeping your sense of humour.

Kristie (J) said...

AL: As you will see in an upcoming installment, I was indeed right - it was NOT just 'a broken leg' and a good reason for the lovely drugs!

Lori: In order to stay healthy- I would have to be healthy first and that hasn't exactly been true - but more than just breaks in legs have happened as a result - we are talking major life changes here. I have made LISTSSS Though to be honest they made a bit more sense at the time I wrote them and didn't have to decipher what I was trying to say. But I showed Ryan and he thought they were very good lists. Considering I have been stoned out of my mind when making them

LorelieLong said...

God bless percocet! May your supplies be unending as long as you need them.

And may your sister administer a few extra whacks to the head to your son on my behalf.

Marcella said...

O Kristie, I'm sorry to hear you were/are in so much pain, but I can't help laughing about your story.
It must have been horrible, though, to be lying there for hours waiting for help.

Kim in Hawaii said...

Kristie, I'll send an Hawaiian priestess to chant a blessing of speedy recovery for you!

Patti (Book Addict) said...

I'm sorry you had to go through it but am laughing at your story...

and wow, your co-workers came to see where you were? That's sweet.

Anna Carrasco Bowling said...

I am very sorry you had to go through that, but major props for you for attitude and inventiveness. I will never look at a Canadian flag the same way again. Enjoy the good meds and get some rest.

Mary G said...

Oh Kristie
How can you make me laugh so much while I feel so bad for you? Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor. Feel better soon.

Bibliophile said...

Oh, dear! I hope it heals fast and without complications. It's good that you can make fun of such a painful and embarrassing situation. It will indeed be a tale to tell the grand-kids.

LVLM(Leah) said...

Kristie- OMG, what an ordeal! Sorry, but now I'm remembering your post about wearing underwear to bed and how you don't. :-)

I know all about this kind of thing taking care of people and a friend with a bad back. You always call the fire dept. and it seems to be the rule that you're always wearing practically nothing. It's a new Murphy's Law.

Glad that you're getting the pain meds you need though, that's always a huge bonus! snort

farmwifetwo said...

Considering they kick you out of the hospital as soon as they can... like that very same day or the next... I'm rather concerned you are still there or back there.

Dh ended up back there after spending the night the first time, and is currently missing a row of bones in his right wrist.... I got to go home, high on morphine as soon as they finished with their grinding, washing, and sewing, but mine was just a 3" hole and a sliver of bone out of my shin last spring.. Plus my Mother was here for 12 days and the nurse came to check it regularly.

So... knowing what I know about that place.... What went wrong???? Plus, I can offer to take MIL later in the week if you're still there and stop in.

Wendy said...

OMG - YOU WERE ALL ALONE?!?!?! I'm so glad your coworker decided to drive over and check on you. That's some scary shit m'dear.

And yes - a great time to quit smoking. You've now been in the hospital for a week? And if Canadian hospitals are anything like American hospitals....uh, you ain't smoking right now. Think of all the money you'll save! Of course, you'll probably turn around and spend that cash on books....BUT, think of all the money you'll save! LOL

Get better soon chica. And I can't wait to hear the rest of this story. Oh, and please tell me that Son #1 is groveling up a storm. I need to hear that.

Hilcia said...

Kristie, I'm sorry you're in so much pain, and hope you recover soon! You do have a way with a story and I couldn't help but laugh... all I have to say is, thank goodness for great co-workers (friends) and patriotism (good thing you had not one, but two Canadian flags handy). :)

Leslie said...

Awe, Kristie. (((hugs))) When I first heard about your battle with plywood I prayed you weren't alone. So sorry to hear you were but so thankful for that co-worker. What a lifesaver!

Good to hear you're getting some great meds and are feeling up to posting. Take care!

vi said...

Your co-worker is my hero! You are also my hero for deciding to stop smoking! Good luck with your recovery.

AnimeJune said...

Oh no! *hugs hugs hugs* Good thing we live in Canada, eh, or you'd have to sell your library.

Where are the firefighters of Jo Davis' Station Five when you need them?!

Either way, hope you get well soon!

claire said...

Kristie..I'm so sorry to hear what happened but so glad your coworkers thought to go check on you. Thank goodness! Take those meds and get better soon.

Lisa Marie Wilkinson said...

Kristi,
Only you could describe such a traumatic event and have me laughing my butt off while I read it. Take care, girl, and mend quickly.

Carolyn said...

Kristy, I was surprised and shocked to hear of your accident, but I couldn't help laughing. Your sense of humor is a blessing (the drugs help too, lol).

Thank goodness they came to check on you. I hope all goes well. *hugs*

CindyS said...

I'm glad your sister didn't go into too many details and kept it light cause that all sounds SCARY!!

I salute the Canadian flag my friend as a better use has yet to be thought up - I hope they kept you a lot warmer than I imagine.

Your friends from work are so awesome they should all get rained on with chocolate - thank God one came to find you!

And Thank God you are on your way to feeling better!! I can't even imagine but when I do I get teary eyed.

I have to say I need your sister to crack #1 Son a few times too - he'd be black and blue if we could all get to him!

CindyS

Tumperkin said...

Oh Kristie! Thank goodness for your VVVGSOH!

Anonymous said...

OMG, that is so horrible! Thank goodness it wasn't much worse. Sending best wishes for your recovery. -- willaful

orannia said...

(((Kristie))) I can't imagine how horrible that wait was until your work colleague arrived. Sending you lots of hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery!

Jill Sorenson said...

OMG I'm so SORRY! This sounds horrible. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. HUGS!!

Mollie said...

Oh my goodness! I'm trying to catch up on my google reader or I would have commented earlier! I hope you get better soon!!!!!!!!!