Wednesday, July 27, 2005

One of life's more embarrasing moments

Quite some time ago, Mail made a bet with a friend (she must have some of the most interesting bets) and posted some of her most embarrassing moments. Apparently, if no one responded in a certain time, she was allowed to delete the post. Well, it was a hoot of a list and it seems she had something like 10 minutes to go when myself and another person responded and she had to leave it up. At the time she said I owed her some embarrassing moments back. I’ve always felt that obligation in the back of my mind – I gotta get over this kind of feeling. Anyway, this one is for Maili!

I was in a department store – Giant Tiger -the other day. I’m not sure what to compare it too – maybe a smaller, friendlier Walmart. They have all kinds of things. Frozen food, discount clothing, toiletries, portable DVD players – you name it, they have it - almost. One of the items they have is great underwear. Now great underwear to me is an entirely different kettle of fish than great underwear to someone much younger. GU to me is something that will hold parts of me in, yet be comfortable at the same time. I am a thong virgin – and will remain so until my dying day. Medium to firm support for me if you please. For those who saw the movie Bridget Jones Diary, there was this really great scene where she was trying to decide between the practical ugly underwear or the sexy provocative underwear. She (and I) went with practical.
So with my GU, a few frozen dinners for my hubbie, shampoo and a half price chocolate bar, I went to the checkout. The cashier was an older lady so I (phew) was safe. After all these years, I still feel awkward when I buy personal things. I gotta get over this kind of thing. I was about 3rd or 4th in line and there were a few people that lined up after me. At this point a young and rather attractive cashier of the male persuasion opened up, looked right at me and said “I can help you over here”. I pretended not to hear him. He said it again. The person behind me tapped me, pointed and said “over there”. Now why couldn’t it have been one of those people who will mow you down trying to get ahead of you in line? Reluctantly, I walked over to the next register thinking “I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this". I dumped all my purchases on the belt somehow hoping the GU would slip by unnoticed and started looking out the window like there was something very interesting going on out there. Twas not be. When he got to the GU, the ugly, the white, the full size for medium support UW, he held them up – I got two don’t you know – and said “You realize the sale is final on these items?” “Fuck off” I thought while giving him the royal “of course, proceed” wave yet inside dying of embarrassment. What I really wanted to say was “I’m over 50 fuckin’ years old and I still wasn’t aware that you couldn’t return underwear. How bloody thoughtful of you to point this out for me in front of all these people”
I made it out of the store, got in the car, hit my head on the steering wheel and thought “Damn! Shit! Shit, Damn. I really really gotta get over this.”

10 comments:

Jay said...

LOL you should have said, "Really? That's funny, I always return my underwear. I especially like to work out in them before bringing them back."

so do the same terms apply? No comments = deletable? If so, whoops! Maybe I'll post a couple to keep your embarassing moment company ;)

Kristie (J) said...

No, Maili left hers up so I'll leave this up too. It is rather funny even if it is at my expense. I did "hide" it though :) under another one.

BJ Deese said...

Hiya Kristie! I used to HATE going to a male cashier if I was buying tampons or other feminine products. Now, I don't have time to worry or care. LOL. The kids are usually with me when I shop, and I'm too busy watching them to care what the cashier is thinking about my purchases.

BJ Deese said...

ps ~ did I spell feminine right? LOL

Karen Scott said...

ROFLMAO!!! Shit Kristie, that just made my morning damnit!!

I can't ever remember ever getting embarrased about buying underwear, but back in college when hubby and I were dating, he would make me sometimes buy the condoms. That was a major issue for me. No matter how often I bought them, I still never got over the initial croaking of the voice whilst handing over the cash.

Let's face it, why else would you buy condoms, unless you were planning on having sex?

Jaynie R said...

lol, I can't remember ever being embarrassed by anything I've bought. I'm too scary for people to comment about stuff to me *g*

Pink Pen said...

I had something similar happen in a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania last month. I wanted to take one of those 6-packs into the change room with me so I could pull one out and hold it up to see how it would fit. And the woman at the fitting room started screaming that I couldn't try on underwear. I tried to explain I just wanted to hold them up, because trying them on is gross.. but she wasn't having it. I ended up buying them... and I can fit two of my big fat butts in them.

Now I'm stuck with 6 pairs of waaaaay to big undies. And I don't intend to grow into them. (And I can't give them away... how do you say to someone, these are too big for me, do you want'em? :)

Lori said...

God Kristie that was funny and I bet has happened to all of us. For me I was convinced by a friend my ass would not go numb and get so sore on the motorbike if I wore a thong. Right, NOT True so I suffered of going and buying a three pck of thongs from a twig only to find when I got home I couldn't get all of me in them. So I went to La Senza suffered a sales girl looking at me like I was not all there only to find my ass still got sore and I kept thinking everyone could tell I was wearing it. Your story brouht it back and made me laugh when at the time I wanted to cry or afford a really good plastic surgeon. keep it up. Lori

Janice said...

Hi Kristie..........you made my day with this story!! *huge grin

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read » »