My Big News

 Better grab a tea or coffee for this one.  I'm in full rambling mode,  And no pictures.

OK, I had to add one, just had too.  But this one is it.

So I mentioned in a previous blog post that there were upcoming changes in the life of this (mostly) romance blogger.  The biggest one is *Happy, happy, happy dance* I am retiring.  Yep, I join the ranks of those who have done their time as of Sept 30.  It was not a simple thing for me to come to that conclusion, I struggled mightily.  I’ve mentioned a number of times how much I love my job and how well I get along with my coworkers.  I’ve never really said though what it is exactly but now, with me leaving, I figure I can.  I work in home health care.  I work as an administrative assistant for 2 care coordinators.  They oversee caseloads for people who have been discharged from the hospital, or their doctor has decided they need to see a nurse for a while.  Of if they have had knee or hip replacements, we will put in Occupational Therapy or Physical Therapy.  If someone is going into a nursing home, it comes through us.  While we aren’t the ones who provide the actual service, we are the ones who put it in and oversee things.

 

I’ve been here almost 16 years now and I’ve seen things change so much over the years.  With an aging population, people living longer etc we are needed more than ever and unfortunately the need hasn’t kept up with the demand.  When I first started, it was all administrative work and while I had some contact with patients and providers (nurses, therapists etc.) it wasn’t much and I was rarely on the phone which was just fine and dandy with me.  I really liked it that way.  

But things have changed a lot.  Now I have a lot of contact with people on the phone, in fact over 90% of my day is spent on the phone.  This has posed a problem as unfortunately, I don’t deal well with phones – either making calls or answering phones.  I’ve adapted as best I can but as one who suffers from depression, phones can be a real trigger for me.  And unfortunately health care – at least in Ontario is broken.  And we have front row seats to it’s broken state. 

I didn’t think it would ever happen but there aren’t enough nurses anymore.  Years ago they could see an avalanche coming and focused on having patients go to clinics for dressing changes or whatever it is that they still needed, rather than having a nurse come to the homes.  They are increasingly insisting on this as the shortage of nurses is reaching a crisis stage.  And now we have reached that stage within the past couple of months.  Nursing is no longer available for a number of people now.  They are being “waitlisted” until a spot opens up.  In the meantime they are being told to go to ED.  Well, the Emergency department can’t handle the amount of people they see and in some cases tell them just to go home.  It’s a vicious circle and it is horrendous.  Now the nature of many of our calls are heartbreaking.  Also a number of them are from people refusing to go to clinics even though they are able to get to one fairly easily.  Their doctors are telling them a nurse will come to their home to see them – even though we have told doctors not to say that as it’s simply not going to happen.

 

These calls are triggering me more and more daily.  Although I don’t work face to face with patients and I honestly don’t know how nurses manage it, my depression is back and manifesting itself in ways I didn’t even realize was depression until my fridge was full to overflowing and when I started to clean it out, I had container after container of spoiled and even unopened cartons of milk, yogurt, rice pudding – 4 cartons of unopened rice pudding I had to throw out.  And meat.  My goodness.  I would buy a pound of hamburg, planning on making something. But by dinner time I just didn’t have the energy to cook and days and days later, it was too late to make anything and I’d have to throw it away.

 

There are often 2 or 3 days a week now I can’t fall asleep at all.  And my shoulders and back ache constantly.

Two days before my 67^th birthday, I called my manager to discuss how I’m feeling but she was busy that day.  We arranged a zoom meeting for two days from then which happened to be my birthday and I spent those 2 days pondering on what I wanted to get out of the meeting and on Wednesday morning while waiting for it to start, a soft gentle voice in my mind said “it’s time.  You’ve done the best you can and now it’s time”  I knew the voice meant time to retire so though unintended, I told my manager during our meeting I was retiring.  I hadn’t really planned to do that but hey, when a gentle voice tells you something good, you go with it.

 

So now that I’m headed for retirement, the question is, do I have any plans? 

Thank you for asking because yes I do as a matter of fact.  One of my new found interests is watching YouTube videos on makeup tutorials.  I don’t know why.  I wear makeup when I got out, but not that much and it takes me about 5 minutes, 7 ½ minutes at most to apply it.  But these videos almost make it an art form.  I’ve also been watching videos on how to do different hair styles – again a seemingly out of nowhere interest.  Brad Mondo is The Best.  What a hoot he is.  So?  

What does this have to do with anything you are thinking.  

I’m getting there  😉.  But even more, I’ve been watching BookTubers, romance BookTubers to be specific, and I’ve really been enjoying them.  It’s like I’ve found the next generation of romance readers and it wonderful.  And it dawned on me that I would like to try that.  But in the past there is no way, no how that I would put myself on camera for all to see.  So not going to happen.  But now that I know how to make my nose look thinner and I’m working on hiding the double chin – that one is coming a bit slower, and because I know the name of the haircut I’ve been trying to describe to my hairdresser for ages, is the shag and that’s what I told her I wanted and she gave me one and it’s looking good, I think I’m ready to start my own YouTube channel.  It’s like it’s a more updated way of connecting other than blogging.  Having been a reader for over 30 years now, I think I have a lot to offer.  For example many of them are just getting into Lisa Kleypas.  Heck, I’ve been reading her books since 1994 at least when I first fell in love with Derek Craven.  Some of them even mention the running debate between Derek from Dreaming of You and Sebastian of Devil in Winter.  I was stunned when I saw that.  It was Sybil and I that got that debate going!!!  Some of the ones I follow are going to be doing a group chat over YouTube sometime soon about Loretta Chase’s Lord of Scoundrels!!!!!  Those are my Books !!! It’s so exciting to see them almost rediscover some of the modern day classics of romance.

 

At the moment this is way above me but then blogging was when I first started.  It took me a number of tries to get this blog actually up and running.  I’m coming up with all kinds of things I could make a video about.  And now that I’ll have the time, there’s no reason I can’t do it.  I even have a name for my soon to be channel.  Are you ready?  Wait for it…..

 

Ramblings on Romance, etc.

 

Clever eh?

 

So fingers crossed, very soon I will be doing both blogging and vlogging.  And I’m so excited.  I will keep anyone who still visits here and is interested.  And that’s only part of my post retirement plans.  I have more!

'til later