Recent Reads

Thank goodness that while the blogging seems to have been scarce, the reading has picked up. I bring you not one, not two, not three but FOUR of my "Recent Reads".



Water Bound By Christine Feehan

Why this one: Well, (yep - long story ahead) I have an odd relationship with Ms. Feehan. Either I adore her stories or I can't stand them. I don't like the Carpathian books at all, at all. And I read Lair of the Lion and HUGE yuckers. But still I didn't totally abandon her and tried Wild Rain and loved it and then read the first couple of the Ghostwalker series and really enjoyed them. But for some reason she kind of dropped off my radar and I hadn't read any other of her books for a while. Then I saw a review of Water Bound at AAR and it piqued my curiosity.

Steam Level: *blowing on fingers* Hot Blurb: The last thing Lev Prakenskii remembered was being lost in the swirling currents of the ocean and getting sucked deeper into the nothingness of a freezing black eddy off the coastal town of Sea Haven. Just as quickly, just a miraculously, he was saved—pulled ashore by a beautiful stranger. But Lev has no memory of who he is—or why he seems to possess the violent instincts of a trained killer. All he knows is that he fears for his life, and for the life of his unexpected savior. Her name is Rikki, a sea~urchin diver in Sea Haven. She has always felt an affinity for the ocean, and for the seductive pull of the tides. And now she feels drawn in the same way to the enigmatic man she rescued. But soon they will be bound by something even stronger, and their tantalizing secrets will engulf them both in a whirlpool of dizzying passion and inescapable danger.

My Thoughts: I'll be honest and say what intrigued me about this book was reading that the heroine had a form of high functioning autism. I thought this worked very well in the hero in Jennifer Ashley's The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie so I was curious as to how it would work in the heroine in a contemporary. And I'm quite pleased to say for me it worked very well. There is no question that Rikki Sitmore has her share of 'quirks'. She had a terribly sad childhood, losing her parents at an early age due to fire and having the nightmare of fires follow and destroy after that. She has finally found a home in Sea Haven, the same town setting as the Drake Sister series. She has found a family of sisters now; not sisters by blood, but sisters of the heart. She also has a successful job as a sea urchin hunter. She is drawn to water in many mysterious ways. For example, when having nightmares about the fires that have destroyed her life, all faucets in her home mysteriously turn on. She can manipulate rain and she is never completely at home unless she is diving in the ocean. Her life is going along as well as it can considering her quirks until she rescues a strange man in the middle of a ocean disruption. I know some of this sounds odd - it's odd to write it, but trust me, when reading this book, it made perfect sense. The man she rescues, Lev Prakenskii, is peculiar in his own right. He has no memory for quite some time, but he does know he is a dangerous man and one who should stay far, far away from Rikki. But he quickly becomes one of my favourite kinds of heroes, the kind that is wrecked for the heroine. He realizes that he is no good for Rikki, yet he can't leave her. Because of the fires that have dogged her all her life, Rikki is afraid she's been the one setting them, but Lev knows she couldn't possibly be the one and he is determined to keep her safe and take care of her. For example, she is very sensitive to different textures of food and exists almost exclusively on peanut butter. She refuses to allow others into her 'space' whether it's her boat, her house or even to the use of her dishes. But Lev 'gets' her and is determined to both protect her and expand her narrow live. He is constantly challenging her to move outside her narrow comfort zone but always there for her in case she stumbles. This is an odd book due to the nature of the heroine, but I adored it. Rikki is a heroine I really enjoyed; one who has had to adjust to the world because of her differences, but has done so very well. She's a tad to prickly at times for me to keep this book from being a five, but she is a very strong heroine and I really liked her. And Lev makes for a mighty fine hero. He has done some very violent things in his past. He's been pretty ruthless, but then again because of his history he has had to be. But he is totally redeemed by his acceptance and respect and protectiveness of Rikki. The reader knows he will die to protect her and as already mentioned, he is totally wrecked for her. This book was a real treat!

Grade: 4.75 out of 5




Into the Crossfire by Lisa Marie Rice

Why this one: Hey, it's Lisa Marie Rice!! I always read her books

Steam Level: Hey, it's Lisa Marie Rice!! Her books are always hawt stuff

Blurb: Former Navy SEAL Sam Reston keeps to himself. His world is dangerous, uncertain, violent...and there is no room in it for the helpless and weak. Then the most beautiful woman in the world moves in next door to him . . . . Nicole Pearce's life is complicated enough--with an ailing father and a new business to worry about--and the last thing she needs is to get involved with a secretive, hard-bodied, hardheaded neighbor. Yet Sam leaves her breathless--her body tingling with erotic desire--and it takes every ounce of her fabled control to resist offering herself to him, no strings attached. What she doesn't know is that Sam Reston is on an undercover assignment . . . and she's about to step into the crossfire. Never has Sam ached for a woman so badly, and he's never fallen in love before. Now that Nicole is in grave danger, he will become her shield, and guard the tempting body he longs to touch and taste. Because a terrorist plot hatched half a world away is heading to their doorstep--and it can only be derailed by one man and one woman.

My Thoughts: This author has a formula. And while she doesn't deviate from it much, as long as I don't read too many of her books in a row, it's a formula that works very well indeed for me. Ms. Rice's formula; total alpha hero, often ex seal or other type of military, heroine in distress, alpha hero lusts after heroine, falls very quickly for heroine and takes over and saves heroine in distress. Heroine falls for hero despite his overbearing ways and allows him to help her after a token resistance. Now one might think that might get a bit tiresome and were I to read too many of her books in a row, it does. I know this because I did it with the Midnight series, reading them back to back to back and by the time I got to Midnight Angel, the sameness really took away for me. In fact I don't think I even finished this one. But if I leave space and read all kinds of other genres between them, I just adore her books and once again I'm happy to say I adored this one too *insert happy face* As per usual, when hero Sam Reston, former Navy Seal and now part owner of his own detective agency first spies Nicole Pearce, his new business neighbour, he is instantly smitten. But he's undercover on his latest case, trying to put a criminal in prison and is in no shape to make any kind of approach. But once he's back to himself, he wastes no time in bargaining her into a dinner date. Sparks fly between them but Nicole is in no state for any kind of relationship. She's had to rearrange her whole life to take care of her dying father. She is trying to get a new business, translating, off the ground and when not working at this, she is looking after her much loved father. But Sam isn't about to let her go. He's never felt like this about a woman before and is willing to do whatever it takes to be a part of her life. He really gets his chance when something strange happens and her office is broken into. He goes into full Protector Mode as he works with his two foster brothers to find out who is after Nicole and what they want with her. As with all of Ms. Rice's heroes, I loved Sam. He's determined to help 'his' woman. He knows his way around the bedroom and he's willing to be flexible with Nicole. Although yes, a bit formulatic, nevertheless he makes for great hero material. And I equally enjoyed Nicole. Despite having her life turned upside down by the illness of her father, she holds no bitterness at her circumstances. Although give many opportunities to become one of those TSTL heroines we all despise, she doesn't. While she wants to hold Sam at arms length, she knows he can help her and she is open and honest with him when she needs to be. Along with every other book by this author with the possible exception of Midnight Angel and I need to read it again with distance this time, I loved Into the Crossfire and most heartily recommend it. There are two other foster brothers and I really hope they each get their own story. I'll be a happy camper if they do

Grade: 4.75 out of 5



Simply Irresistible by Jill Shalvis

Why this one: The only trouble I had with the last book by this author was she didn't know baseball. Other than that, I would have enjoyed the story very much. So when I read the buzz on this book and the fact that it isn't one of her baseball books, I was onboard.

Steam Level: Very warm. Not hot like some of the others maybe, but warm is very nice too!

Blurb: Maddie Moore's whole life needs a makeover. In one fell swoop, Maddie loses her boyfriend (her decision) and her job (so not her decision). But rather than drowning her sorrows in bags of potato chips, Maddie leaves L.A. to claim the inheritance left by her free-spirited mother -- a ramshackle inn nestled in the little coastal town of Lucky Harbor, Washington. Starting over won't be easy. Yet Maddie sees the potential for a new home and a new career -- if only she can convince her two half-sisters to join her in the adventure. But convincing Tara and Chloe will be difficult because the inn needs a big makeover too. The contractor Maddie hires is a tall, dark-haired hottie whose eyes -- and mouth -- are making it hard for her to remember that she's sworn off men. Even harder will be Maddie's struggles to overcome the past, though she's about to discover that there's no better place to call home than Lucky Harbor.

My Thoughts: As long as Ms. Shalvis hasn't written a heroine I despise, or about a sport she doesn't really know, I've really enjoy her books and this one is no exception. Maddie is kind of a sad heroine. Pretty much abandoned by her mother, she has been raised in Hollywood by her set designer father. But when her mother dies and leaves an old dilapidated inn in a small coastal West coast town to her and her two half sisters, Maddie is determined to take this opportunity to get close to the sisters she barely knows. Her sisters aren't keen on the idea to put it mildly, but she wants this very badly. She's never been the strongest of the sisters, she has kind of let people, most especially an abusive ex, bully her and take advantage of her. But she wants to start over; a stronger Maddie and one who is willing to go after her dreams.

Jax Cullen is the hero. He too has changed his life around. Once a shark of a lawyer who would do anything to win cases, after one particular case went very, very wrong, he left his old life behind and moved back to his small home town to get back to his roots as a carpenter. This much simpler life allows him to help out many of his small town friends as a way to make amends for his former life. When almost run over by Maddie - literally - he sees her as something of a lost soul who can really use a friend and as he gets to know her better, as more than a friend. But Maddie has been burned in the past and doesn't really trust herself much anymore and does her best to keep Jax at a distance. Jax for his part, is somewhat afraid and also bound by his oath not to tell Maddie everything keeps important information from her.

Meanwhile, Maddie tries to build bridges with her sisters, keep Jax at arms distance and generally make her life over. Both she and Jax are great characters. Having two sisters of my own, I liked the squabbles she, Chloe and Tara constantly had. This isn't a big 'action' book; rather it's rather simple, relaxed and enjoyable 'taste of life' kind of contemporary book. It's the first of three and I'll be reading Chloe and Tara's books when they come out.

One small thing took me somewhat out of the story though. The time is around during the Christmas season, which also adds charm. But then it's Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and nothing is really made of that. No gift exchanges, no mention of Christmas family dinner. I just found it a bit jarring for some reason. But other than that small fact, I found this book quite enjoyable.

Grade: 4.25 out of 5


One Touch of Scandal by Liz Carlyle

Why this one: Ms. Carlyle used to be an autobuy author for me, then she wrote a couple of books I didn't really care for and she kind of fell off the map. But I read a pretty good review of this book and thought I'd give her another go.

Steam Level: It takes a while for the kettle that is this book to boil, but once it does, it's fine rolling boil

Blurb: Against the glamorous backdrop of Victorian high society, Liz Carlyle paints a dramatic tale of dangerous desire, the first in her sizzling new trilogy. All Grace Gauthier ever wanted was the security of a good marriage, family, and home. Instead, despised by her aristocratic mother's family because of her father's foreign birth, she's taken a "safe" position as a governess. Now, unprotected and alone in London, accused of the shocking murder of her employer, she has no one to turn to except the mysterious -- and possibly dangerous -- Lord Ruthveyn. A dark-eyed Lucifer, Ruthveyn guards his secrets carefully. His shadowed past is a source of pain and rumors -- only whispered. Grace's plight -- which echoes his own -- moves him, as does her quiet beauty. Ruthveyn is determined to save Grace by unmasking a killer. But his growing passion places his own heart at risk and threatens to expose his dark gifts to the world.

My Thoughts: First off - I just have to get this off my chest and then I can get serious. The Cover! Avon Cover People - you can suck like nobodies business when it comes to covers. This author used to write for Pocket where they gave her great covers. Then she moved to Avon and this cover is just plain NASTY and I don't mean that in a good way. I mean it in it's original meaning - horrible, awful, terrible, hideous, dreadful! If I were the author and upon first glance of the cover, I'd have been in tears. I mean - could that dress look any cheaper??? It looks like a dress that a first year sewing student might whip up. And what's with that silly stretch of her neck. I tried duplicating that and it hurt! (I need more neck exercising) And those colours orangy-yellow - again, just nasty. I mean seriously - take a look at either of the covers on the right, gorgeous colours, tasteful covers and then at One Touch of Scandal. Wouldn't you want to cry too? Good thing the version I read was on my Kobo in ereader form so I didn't have to really look at it. I was so disappointed when I heard that she switched publishers. And the difference between covers is just one reason.

Now, getting away from the monstrosity that is the cover and onto the book itself. I hadn't gotten very far into this book before I realized why I had loved Ms. Carlyle's earlier books. In fact in one of my trips to Chapters, I picked up a book I didn't already have.

The book starts with murder; the murder of Grace Gauthier's employer and secret fiance. It doesn't take her long to realize that she needs help as she seems to be top on the suspect list. She looks for an old friend and army officer that served under her Army father. But it seems her friend is out of town and instead she tells her worries to Adrian, Lord Ruthveyan. He's a rather mysterious guy, he and the other members of his club. Still, Grace who has always been a very good judge of men, does trust him and puts her faith and trust in his hands.

And Adrian is mysterious. He's one of those tortured soul kind of heroes that are so very delicious. He has an odd talent that leads him to keep his distance from just about everyone. If he touches them or looks into their eyes, he can 'sense' things about them, such as how they will die. This keeps him apart from everyone but those in his club who all have similar kinds of 'gifts'. But for some reason he is unable to 'read' Grace and this is very calming to him. In addition, he is very attracted to her though he fights it, thinking in time, he will get glimpses into what her future holds in store for her and he will once again suffer. He tries his best to resist falling for her. He spent much of his life in India and his mother in fact was an Indian Princess and his father English which makes him a half caste hero. This doesn't really play into the story though except as another way he is separate.

Grace also has had an unusual upbringing. Her mother died early and she has spent most of her life following her French Legionnaire officer father. She had come back to England after his death and was just finding a new life when it was torn apart by the death of her employer/fiance. She is also strongly attracted to Adrian, but like him, is determined to resist as she sees no future with him. But as they work together to try and clear her name, they finally are unable to resist each other.

I do believe with this book, that Liz Carlyle is back on my list. I enjoyed it. Adrian was a very good tortured and mysterious hero. Grace was a heroine I really appreciated. She was quite practical and pragmatic. Despite being terrified at being a suspect, she is realizes that Adrian is her best hope for clearing her name and she trusts him to do exactly that.

Grade: 4.25 out of 5

So there you have it - four for the price of one. And I quite enjoyed every one of them. I love it when I'm on a roll.

As it slowly draws to an end.........

One of the biggest bummers about breaking the leg was not being able to keep up with So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I was so excited about it but then..... the break. I didn't have TV in my room; it cost too much, so I could only follow it online and it wasn't nearly the same. Plus much of my enthusiasm waned in the other thrill of events.

But I've caught the fever again. And luckily, as in Season I, there has been one dancer in particular that is skilled beyond belief and even better, makes the bell ring on my crush-oh-meter. I've been aware of him since his audition which blew me away, not to mention the lust that kind of crept in.



Now I'm not going to post all his dances, that would take too long and if you do want to see more, here is his "official" site. But here are a few of my favourites. Warning though - close before Leah comes up as she is without question, one of the MOST ANNOYING "hostess" of any show - ever.

This is one of my favourites and he cracks me up at the beginning when he says he is funny in such a deadpan kind of way.



And just watch him move in this dance!!!!


Now this next one is my favourite of the whole season. I can't tell you how many times I've watched it already. In a way it's more of a dance for the woman (Danielle) but if you watch it, you can see what an incredible partner he is. (now if this were to be made into a romance novel, he would have been so torn about having to give her the news and in three years hasn't been able to forget her. He's no longer in the military, but has opened up his own detective agency. Because he hasn't been able to forget her, when a case draws him to the town she lives in, he drives by her house to see her one last time, only to realize that she is being stalked by some psychopath and he stays to save her - and of course they fall in love)



Now these next couple are from the final show where it was down to 4 dancers. The choreographers in the first dance include Nico - the winner of the first season and one of my "crushes"



The second is a Salsa - not a dance I care for really, but just look at him take dance steps while lifting Amanda overhead - amazing!!


Now his bio is truly impressive. His full name is Denys Drozdyuk and he's originally from the Ukraine. He came to Canada but then moved to Germany to study ball room dance. He was World Ballroom Champion for a few years before attending Julliard.

The show is almost over for the season though. We find out tomorrow night who the winner is. I have my fingers crossed and I know I voted almost non stop for two hours - nope not much of a life these days heh,heh,heh. I really hope it's Denys. They haven't announced yet whether there will be a tour but I really hope there is since London has been a stop the past two years.

And speaking of former crush Nico - here is one of his final dances.

Dang!!

I went and disappeared again didn't I? I didn't mean to - again. I can't figure out what's happening except maybe I'm putting so much into day to day activities, I'm worn out when I get them done. I surely don't have the stamina I did a month and a half ago. I do something such as go for physio, then meet a friend for coffee or lunch or something and wham!!! I'm done for the day.
I'm still bothered by the setback - my foot is still twisted and hurts like a sonuvabitch and I'm very frustrated with that since it's putting everything else behind. I feel something like a fraud since I'm not sick sick and that part of the brain that's wired to go to work won't let me go, but I don't have the energy to work a full day or even half day at the moment. They have someone filling in for me so actually, it would be a bad thing to go back right now since they would loose a fully functioning person and replace them will me - who's exhausted after doing simple things.

I'm ready to say so long to Son #1. Not because he's not helpful - he is up to what I expect him to be - but he's such a flipping JINX!! Now he seems to have broken my dryer. First off, it's his fault I broke my leg, then he broke the key off in the back door and no of us have a key to the front door. So the rare time we were both going out, we couldn't lock the door - didn't that make me feel safe - not. He called a locksmith to fix it the other day - but somehow I ended up being the one to pay for it. I tell you, I need Krisite to emerge more when dealing with him.

Then he broke the screen door off the back door. Now long time visitors may remember this is not the first time I've had "back door" issues. So this is not the first time. The main issue with it now is Destructo Cat escapes a lot more than she used to. And now the dryer. Unfortunately while he started doing quite a bit of laundry that had piled up - but most of it was towels and sheets and stuff - he hadn't really got into clothes yet. So I'm down to the dregs of clothes. He's going to the laundromat in the next day or so until he calls the repairman - but just like everything else he's managed to break, I have a feeling I'm going to end up paying for it. So the sooner he gets out on his own again, the sooner body parts and other assorted items will stop breaking!

And of course the best solution to the current problem - shortage of clean clothes - is shopping. Hopefully it will have a positive effect rather than the opposite *g*

The reason I call it Ramblings

is because I ramble and this will be one of the queen of rambling posts.

As you may have gathered, depression has been trying to get a foothold and so far for the most part I've been winning the battle. So quite a bit has been going on lately. Son #2 and his delightful girlfriend came over on Sunday to get me on board HEALTHY EATING. First off, was a cleaning of the fridge. That one hurt a bit. I sat at the kitchen counter as they went through my fridge pitching just about everything that was in there. I suppose there was no reason to hold onto bottles of salad dressing that expired back in 2009 or maple syrup that was so thick holding it upside for almost 5 minutes and it still didn't move were good things to toss, but it did hurt to see the multi packages of wieners head into that green garbage bag. I know that wieners and their sister bologna are the garbage pit of food; that they use the snouts and other real yucky stuff of pigs to make them and that they are loaded with salt and probably one of the worst things we can eat. But dang I love - or rather loved - the taste of them. He did let me keep theGrill'ems though. I think he took pity on me as it wasn't only the hot dogs that had to go but the cookies as well. Now I'm not a big cookie eater so it wasn't as hard to say so long to them, but still - they were the good kind of cookies! Thin wafers topped with chocolate - Mmmmmmmm. And the cruelest cut was the loss of my chocolate mint cookies. They are my comfort cookies. When I was a young thing and went to visit Gramma, she always had these chocolate covered mint cookies 'cause she knew they were my favourite. So to see them thrown out without the respect they so deserved was a bit tough to take I'll admit.

So after that it was a trip to the grocery story for THE HEALTHY food. Why is that healthy food is so much more money and so much more - well - boring, then the junk stuff?? I was a bit worn out by the time we finished getting groceries, after taking time to carefully examine almost everything. I think it took us about 10 minutes on salad dressings alone. You see my favourite - Thousand Island - is higher in fat and calories than some of the other kinds Ryan suggested. But I don't like the ones he suggested. I offered a few other alternatives that he put the kibosh on. So we finally reached a compromise. I could have Thousand Island as long as I didn't drown my salad in it; that I promise to use it sparingly. As I said, it took about 10 minutes to reach this resolution alone! *roll of the eyes here*. I knew Ryan would really enjoy this section of Let's Get Healthy. And absolutely no Cheese Whiz or cheese slices - no processed food at all really - made it onto the belt when it came time to pay. If I want my own version of Egg McMuffins, it's whole wheat English Muffins buttered with calorie reduced margarine and brick cheese slices - and the egg - a normal egg.
So that was my big day on Sunday.

~*~*~*UPDATE~*~*~*

I actually started this post a while ago and meant to finish it and post it much sooner. Since then it's been up and down. I've had a lot of ups and lately a lot of downs. I was on a nice uphill and was just about ready to ditch the walker and graduate to just the cane but then I twisted my foot - my left foot of course - the one with the broken leg attached to it and now I'm back to using the walker again. I'm not to happy about than let me tell you!

Also, while I was in the hospital they asked all kinds of questions about my health in general since I had neglected it really for so long. One of the things I mentioned was that both my hands were numb and tinglish. I hadn't really thought about this - just thought it was another annoying thing to not think about. They set up an appointment for an ENG - a nerve kind of test thingy. I had that late last week and wouldn't you know - they found something. Damn it! They want to send me for an MRI as soon as I can get in for one. They think it's a pinched nerve or something and *grrrrr* one of the options mentioned was surgery. I don't want any more surgery. The leg was quite enough thank you.
As if that weren't enough, I somehow let it slip that's it's been a while (like years) since I've had one of those examinations. You know - the ones us women have. So I have an appointment coming up much too soon with a gynecologist. *shudder*

In the reading front, my reading mojo is slowly returning. A friend took me to Chapters not long ago where I stalked up on books. I have given up smoking though some days it's been a real struggle, and I've pretty much given up soda/pop and for the most part have been eating very healthy with much more fruits and veggies than I've eaten for some time, books are the addiction I won't give up *g*. Hopefully I'll have some reviews written soon. I'm still on track to have my best reading year since I've been tracking this, though not as many as I'd hoped before THE FALL.

So at the moment I'm taking things one day at a time - and doesn't that sound disgustingly cliche-is. Yesterday was a good day. My twisted foot wasn't bothering me too bad so I made my first solo trip to the grocery store and then to the mall for lunch at the food court. Today on the other hand isn't going so good. My foot is hurting again so my goal for today is just to get the kitchen and hopefully the living room cleaned. I am keeping up very good with getting washed and dressed within half an hour after getting up in the morning. That in itself is a goal I set when I got out of the hospital. I haven't got hooked on soaps in the afternoon which is good. But I shamefaced admit that a few times I've watched Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. Yes, yes I know - they are much worse than soaps. But they are trash at it's very finest.

And now - I must do some blog hopping - something else I've neglected for much too long. Sorry for the long absence. I promise I won't stay away this long again!

Oh - and before I go - one more thing. All About Romance has a poll up now for your top 100 romance book poll. I REALLY love everything about this poll. Not only is it fun for me to come up with my favourites, it's also a great place to get rec's for books once the poll is closed and the results are posted. Voting started on Oct 15 and runs until Nov. 14. So far I have 50 of my top listed and I'm working on the next 50. I say everyone send in their list even if you can't come up with 100. I don't think you have to come up with 100 if that's too hard. But I do urge everyone who reads and loves romance to send in what they can. It's fascinating to see what others are reading and loving. The last one they did was in 2007 and I know for myself, I've found some excellent new books since then.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home - been home since Wednesday. But in some cases, while it's good to be home, it isn't so sweet as one thinks it might be. Such was my case. One tends to be somewhat cocooned in the hospital. While they did get us up and moving very early every day and it was the rehab ward so we did a lot of that kind of thing, still in a lot of ways there is a whole lot done for you in the hospital. Beds are made. Meals are cooked and brought to you. Water is brought to you several times a day. Medication is already measured out and brought to you when it's time to take it. Well, you get the picture.

So my throw into the deep end of the reality pool was almost immediate when I headed home and had to make a stop at the drug store on the way. Son #1 picked me up and drove me but before going home I had to get all the medication they've prescribed. I went in taking 3 pills a day and left taking 7! Now mind you, 3 are vitamins and the other is percs for the pain. But that seems a lot to figure out every day myself and they have to be taken at different times of the day so that's something I have to figure out for myself anymore. And the trip to the drug store wore me out! I had no idea I would get that tired that soon. I walked over a thousand steps at a time at the hospital - albeit on a step machine. But still, I was exhausted. And when I got home I thought a cup of tea would be just the thing. But the work involved in getting a simple cup of tea almost seemed overwhelming. With 2 good legs and working arms it's a snap. But when one of the legs is broken and one is already tired, it's almost overwhelming.

And I don't think Son #1 did any housework at all while I was a month in the hospital. He says he did and while I don't want to argue with him, I say he didn't. So when I walked -or rather wheeled into the house again, I wanted to cry at the amount of housework needed to make me feel comfortable. Not even my bed was good to sleep in. Destructo cat had let her displeasure at my disappearance be known and peed on the bed. I had Son #1 wash all the sheets but he didn't think to make the bed after that and I'm tired of constantly asking him to do things and at times I don't think think he's doing the life math - mother with broken leg can not make bed on her own.

So for the first several days I've been pretty depressed. I finally bit the bullet and asked my group of friends for help and the absolutely wonderful group they are, they are all have offered to help in one way or another. One of them has her own room mate who just underwent knee replacement surgery so she has her own patient to look after and I know from experience how tired and in pain her room mate is so she needs to take care of her. But even knowing that she is taking care of someone in similar circumstances helps.

I had the PSW come over yesterday to help me with my shower. Yep, I can't even shower by myself - think how slippery the tub can be and how scary it can be when both legs can't support you the way they are supposed too. I hadn't had a full shower since last Saturday - when in the hospital you only get a shower once a week - the rest of the time it's sponge baths, so while somewhat embarrassing having to have someone other than an approved member of the opposite sex see me nekkid as a jaybird, it did feel marvelous to be that clean again.

So all this is to say that I haven't blogged as I was sad and feeling sorry for myself and I couldn't seem to find my usual sense of humour and optimistic self. I haven't even been able to pick up a book to read!!! Now that makes things real serious. I've always read when things were looking gloomy (or happy, or happy or sad or scary or sunny or whatever). But things have turned a corner now thanks to good friends so it's much better. I leave you with what I think is the theme song of my life. Truly - this song has always really spoken to me and it was just on the radio and once more it really hit home

Recent Reread

One Last Chance by Justine Davis

Why this one: I'm one of those readers who can reread a book. If it's a real good book, I can reread it many times. Neither of my sisters who are also big readers, can do this. You may remember not so long ago I was quite excited to see this book had been re released. Originally published in 1993, I found it, read it and loved it when I went on a Justine Davis glom a number of years ago now. I loved it at the time. But it got packed away in my boxes of books so it had been quite some time since I'd read it. Plus my copy was a used one and it wasn't in the best of shape. So when I noticed it was re released I simply had to get a new copy and it was in with a bunch of other books that one of my sons brought up to the hospital for me to read while I'm here

Steam Level: Very hot!

Blurb: Chance Buckner: A tough-as-nails undercover cop dangerously close to the edge.

Shea Austin: A sultry nightclub singer with a big heart and shady connections.

Long ago, undercover narcotics cop Chance Buckner paid the ultimate price for his work. Now there was nothing inside of him but slow-boiling rage. His anger would help him destroy the drug dealer he was after…and keep him from falling for Shea Austin, whose voice threatened to heal his soul. And even if she was guilty as sin, Chance would protect her. Because he knew what could happen to delicate songbirds….


My Thoughts: Sometimes it's a little scary when rereading a well loved book years later. The magic just isn't there anymore and you are left wondering what it was that was so appealing the first time 'round. I'm very, very happy to say such was not the case with this one!! I adored it this time round too.

Chance Buckner is a cop undercover trying to find out what a drug dealer is up to in Chance's neck of the woods. He is helped in this with his partner Quisto and they are also working with a real ass of an FBI guy in trying to bring down Paulo De Cortez. But there is a monkey wrench thrown into the works when Chance meets Shea Austin, a singer in the bar that De Cortez has opened. Chance is deeply drawn to her and she to him, but there is the matter of De Cortez and Chances' investigation in the way of developing any real relationship between the two of them.

What I loved the first time I read this book years ago and what I loved this time round again, is the character of Chance. What a delicious hero he makes. He's suffered great tragedy in his life and is a real tortured soul. Although his feelings for Shea run very deep, he is very afraid that once she finds out who he really is and what he's really doing, she will hate him. This gives their relationship an urgency and poignancy that really adds to the book. I dare anyone who reads this book not to fall totally for Chance.

Shea isn't quite as vivid a character as Chance and since she doesn't hold the same kind of secrets that Chance has to, she's not quite as powerful a personality as Chance. But still, she is very likable a heroine with some ghosts of her own to deal with.

It's a wonderful thing when a book you've loved holds up over time and this one has held up very well. This book is listed at the EHarlequin site for $3.99 and it's also available as an ebook, so if you didn't get it when I first got excited over this book, there is still time!


Grade: 5 out of 5






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Recent Read

Despite the fact that I have not much else but time on my hands, I don't seem to really be much in the mood to read, but since once we get up, get our meds given to us, do our occupational therapy and our physiotherapy and other various things, there isn't a whole lot to do, I have managed to get through a few books



Burning up by Susan Andersen

Why this one: Ms Andersen is one of a very few authors that I can say hasn't written a book I haven't enjoyed to one extent or another. Just about every author except for her has a dud or two for my me. So it goes without saying when she has a new book come out, I read it.

Steam Level: Served the way I like them, nice and hot

Blurb: She's So Good at Being Bad

Though it’s been years since the infamous Macy O’James stepped foot in Sugarville, Washington, everyone remembers what she supposedly did. The tiny town is still buzzing about her crime and lack of punishment.

Now back to lend her family a hand, Macy vows to hold her head high—especially at her high school reunion. But forget about the hottest man in Sugarville escorting her. Though she and fire chief Gabriel Donovan generate enough sparks to burn down the town, he’s a law-abiding, line-towing straight arrow. So not her type.

But, maybe—just maybe—he could change her mind about that.

My Thoughts: First off - I really, really liked the character of Macy. Sometimes it's the hero who is more the standout of the two and sometimes it's the heroine and in Burning Up, I found it to be the heroine. The book can be a tougher sell if the heroine is the stand out and I have issues with her, but in the case of Burning Up it was all good since Macy was great.

Macy O'James had come back to the small town of Sugarville to help out her cousin who had suffered a broken leg (gee - what a coincidence) in a hit and run. Although she didn't hesitate for a moment when Janna, her cousin needed her, it wasn't that easy for Macy to come back home. Years ago in high school, one of the popular boys spread all kinds of nasty rumours about her and that combined with one particular incident had made Macy a most unpopular girl. And while it's been many years since then and she has had quite a successful career, first off as a star of music videos and later behind the camera of them, nothing brings out her insecurities like coming back to such unhappy memories - mixed with some good ones too.

Gabriel Donovan, fairly new to town, is the local fire chief of the volunteer fire department that makes up the Sugarville fire department. He has heard the rumours about Macy and kind of sort of believed them for the most part. He isn't too impressed with the series of 'outfits's' Macy wears as a shield for her insecurities and he is rather tough on her at times. It would be rather easy to dislike him, but as a guy who had a rough go of it himself, I went a bit easy on him. And he does straighten up and sees Macy for who she really is and not who rumour says she is fairly quickly.

There was also a cute secondary romance between the shy, quiet local former girlfriend schoolteacher of Gabriel's and the tatooted rocker dude musician friend of Macy's.

This wasn't my favourite of Susan Andersen's book, but it does keep her streak going of books of hers that I've quite enjoyed. It helped while away some hours and helped pass away time here in the hospital and that was quite fine with me.

Grade: 3.75 out of 5

Like Sand Through the Hourglass

So are the Days of my Life. Life here on the 5A ward is ..........amusing and entertaining. First off, I've joined the March of the Old People. At 11:30 every day I can be found shuffling my way along with all the other shufflers, to the lunchroom. While I started off as one of the slowest shufflers, I'm now one of the faster ones. It goes without saying that I'm one of the youngest whipper snappers of the group. Gary, my roomie from the other hospital, is one of the younger ones too and there is one other guy who is around our age, maybe even younger. But as for the rest, the crowd has to be 20 years my senior.

At times I can't tell whether I'm living in a sitcom or the Twilight Zone. The cast of characters is quite fascinating. There is one older gentleman who dearly loves his ketchup and I'm trying to figure out who he looks more like - Mr. Burns or Apu - both from The Simpsons. Although I think I'll have to go more with Mr. Burns. The first time he shuffled in, I wanted to yell out "Mr. Burns!?!?" but thought better of that idea.

Then there is this rather odd older lady named Penny. Most of the time she seems perfectly fine, but then something will set her off and you can't help but look at her twice to see if she's joking or a few bats flew out of her belfry. A couple of days ago I was doing exercises with a small group of other shufflers (and weren't they interesting - they were designed for people in their 80's and lets just say I didn't work up much of a sweat - but hey - it's not like I'm getting a lot of workouts and every bit helps) and Penny was one of them. She looked at one of the other shufflers - a very sweet old English lady and proceeded to ask the sweet English Lady why she kept following her. She must have asked about 7 or 8 times. Since the sweet old English Lady was in the room first, the following bit confused me.

Of course there is Grumpy Old Guy. They are all old, but this guy is grumpy along with being older. Then there is the cheerful funny lady in the souped up wheelchair. This wheelchair is top of the line - power and it can go up and down with the push of a button. I do believe I have a slight case of wheel chair envy. The one I have is just a plain old everyday one that you have to use your arms to make it move. It is a funky green colour though.

The music they play at lunch is not my cuppa though. Patsy Cline, George Jones, Big Band - I think I could quite happily do without listening to any of that. Yesterday though the nurse put on the radio rather than a DVD and I chuckled to myself when I heard Telephone by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Lord I've missed that music!!!!!!!! I gave the nurse a thumbs up. I was very tempted to try and lead the shufflers in a group dance, but thought they would probably turn me down. But sometimes it's just so hard not to break out into song - songs I listen to - like Black Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert etc. So when I heard the Lady Gaga/Beyonce song I gave the nurse a thumbs up.

Time has lost all meaning here. Someone could tell me it's Tuesday and I'd believe them and the next person could say it's Friday and I'd believe them too. It's an odd feeling this - being so unplugged from the outside world.

They have a hairdresser in the hospital and I had my hair done yesterday. What another bizarre experience that was. I had to be wheeled to it - it's down several floors and so far I haven't walked quite that far yet. The hairdresser was asking me how my hairdresser did my hair and I said she usually washed it, cut it, blow dried it and then used a flat iron to straighten it. The hairdresser said that she didn't have any of those new things (meaning a flat iron) I was rather startled at that as to me it's a tool every hairdresser just - well - has. But considering the average age of her clients is probably around 70 and many of them don't have a full head of hair, I suppose a flat iron isn't called for that often. She said she had brought in a curling iron from home since she uses that once in a while. The whole thing was just so strange. It was like I was in a beauty parlour from the 60's or something. She washed my hair and cut it - just a very, very small token amount - and then got a brush to blow dry

it. And she only had one brush!!!! Any hair dresser I've gone to has tons of them depending on the style. But nope - she only had one - and it wasn't a round brush. Still - considering the tools she had on hand and the fact that she probably hadn't done hair on someone as young as me for ages and ages, she did a pretty good job. And I had one of my kids bring me up my flat iron and make up and I straightened my own hair and made myself purty this morning - why I'm not quite sure - but it does make me feel more myself.

And in other news, they weighed me the other day. It was exactly a week before that when I moved to this hospital and they weighed me then too. So in one weeks time, I managed to lose 20 lbs!!! Mind you, that was 9/10'ths water I think. I'm on water pills and

the amount of time I have to check out that particular room is more than any other combined. I mentioned a while ago that my feet had swollen up like blow fish when I was in Florida. Well, by last week my whole body had. But still it was nice to hear that I dropped that much weight in such a short amount of time. I've been trying very hard to eat healthy while here. I order vegetables (blech) and everything. And I go for physio/exercising every day. The physiotherapist found a follow-up physiotherapist at a gym near where I live so when I get out and go home, I think I'll join the gym so I can continue to exercise.

Well, that's about all I have to report. Oh - my going home day is Sept. 29/10 - next Wednesday. So that's not that far off now. Then my days living in Twilight Zone will be over and you know what? I'll miss them.

March of the Old People

Now if this were a romance novel, it would be an entirely different type post. But life is not a romance novel. I'm settling into life here at Parkwood and if it was a romance novel, many of the other residents would be athletes who had hurt themselves while doing super sports. Or they would be CEO's who had accidents with their beemers. Or possibly there would be a few bad boy types who crashed their motorcycles. And life would be very interesting on Floor 5, Wing A.

But instead, just about every resident here averages 30 years older than me and are having hip replacement operations or just plain fell. My room mate for example, a very nice lady, is 33 years older than I am. I'm just starting to emerge from my cocoon of a room as I get walking safely with a walker and don't need a 'spotter' for heading to the washroom and back. But even in the brief glimpses I've gotten, I realize I have nothing in common with anyone around me. In fact I find it very surreal. We are all expected to get out of our beds and eat our lunch in the main floor lunchroom. So far due to different reasons, I've only managed this, what I dubbed 'March of the Old People' twice now. The first time I was seated at a table with two old men, both had to be in their 80's. I can't even begin to describe the oddness and hilarity of sitting at a table with two guys wearing matching custom made I'm sure flannelette plaid bibs. And man! Do these people know there meds. Listening to their conversations, many seem to be intimately acquainted with their pharmacists and can roll out those latin names like nobody's business. And crotchety some of them???? Good heavens they are cranky.

I couldn't make it for the March of the Old People yesterday, but today when I got to the lunchroom, they were playing toons and having a singalong. There's nothing quite like hearing a room full of people belting out 'How much is that Doggie in the Window'? Some of the men really had fun doing the barking after the one line. I'm afraid I didn't guess any of the name that tunes. I'm not really up on my Patsy Cline, George Jones or Big Band era music. Now if they had played some Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert or Beyonce I might have stood a chance.

It's been interesting times here that's for sure. The one day I had a sad day and was in tears most of the day. Telling myself this is actually a good thing and it's the best opportunity to get healthy and sort out whatever health issues I've had over the years just wasn't cutting it. I miss my cats. I was tired of even the simplest things being mountains without a single hill in sight.
I miss Ron so much being here.

But then a day can turn on a dime. Yesterday started out bad again. I had to go back to the other hospital for a follow-up visit in the ortho department. One of the medications they are giving me is water pills to make me pee. And boy do they ever work. Real well! They work very, very well! I had to have a family member accompany me to the hospital so Ryan got drafted. We were sitting there waiting for the transpo when they medication kicked in. And then the logistics set in. I was in a wheelchair and didn't have my walker with me. Ryan found a washroom and wheeled my into the womens', but then I was stuck. I don't know how to work a wheelchair!! I couldn't get it moving forward, I couldn't get it moving backwards. And I had to go - BAD. Thankfully there was a health person in there who wheeled me into the stall and by being very careful, I managed to do what needed to be done, but this person had left and I was in the washroom by myself. I had to yell out for Ryan to come in and get me. And we hadn't even left the hospital yet!!

I had 4 more nightmare trips to the can - every 15 minutes over the next little while. Ryan was very good about taking his Mama to the can so often, but still I could tell it was frustrating for him as well as for me. And neither of us thought the appointment wait would take so long and he had to get to work. So by the time I got back to my room, I was ready to hurl a chair through the window. Instead though, I channeled my frustration into my physio and really went way beyond what the physiotherapist, a rather nice young woman, not a hunky gorgeous guy, had planned for me. So I was feeling pretty darn good by the end of it.

And Andy, my room mate from the other hospital, made it here this afternoon. In fact, it turns out he's in the room next to the one I'm in. I just found out I'm going to be here at least two more weeks - so who knows what might happen. It will be nice to have someone my own age around. And doesn't that seem odd to say - someone my own age - when up until I came here, I was thinking I was getting up there in years. Now I'm feeling like just a very young whipper snapper.

Coming to you from Rehab

Nope - not Dr. Drew's famous people rehab - this is the rehab hospital. I got here yesterday but between one thing and another, I didn't have much time on line.

So in 2 days time they are keeping me hopping. I had my staples removed, my leg wrapped for swelling, my first physio. They have me dressed and up for all meals. I've had ultrasound on two different body parts. And the little dearlings gave me a dieuretic or water pill, so I have to go to the can every 15 minutes. Considering the amount of work it takes to do something so very simple, well, I told the nurses they would be all be sick to death of me by the end of the their shifts. Thankfully shifts just changed so I haven't had to pester the new group.......yet.

But best of all - I plucked the chins on my hair out! Now some of you who haven't yet gone through 'the change' are thinking eee-wwww. But I tell you increased facial hair is one of those symptoms your mama doesn't tell you. And despite have a broken leg, a bad, bad booboo on my elbow and other and various assorted injuries that started coming out, the long chin hairs were the thing that kept bothering me the most!!! Why is that I wonder???? Ah well - the little chinny, chin chin hairs are gone now

I haven't felt much like reading though. All this time and all these books that are here with me and the urge isn't there. I did download Pamela Clare's Naked Edge to my Kobo though when she mentioned what happened to Gabe and the first chapter has our heroine falling off a cliff and breaking her fibula. I couldn't help but think - I did that too :~)

Well - it's been a while - time to start bugging the next shift now. Just wait until the laxative they gave me kicks in - fun times tonight!

Thoughts from the C4 Floor

McMurhpy I'm not! Nurse Ratched was my nurse again yesterday and the best way I felt to play it was to let her know that I knew that she was in total charge. I realized this when she came in first thing in the morning - 7:30 - this is almost earlier than if I were working. And it was a Saturday!! I'm never up at 7:30 on a Saturday - to get me into my chair - where I didn't want to go and give me my medicine including a shot of fragmin in my stomach where I didn't want to get it. I told her my arm but she refused to listed to what I wanted and since it didn't end up hurting in my stomach after all - well that just about took all fight out of me. She kept me up and in my chair for most of the day and I paid for it last night when I couldn't get my breathe enough and the late nurse called in a resperologist! The late night nurse (and all others) have been wonderful. I have a strong girl crush on Mary. She still does the most basic of things for me yet doesn't make me feel helpless as opposed to Nurse Ratched who makes me feel each and ever indignity there is to feel. That is one of the things I feel most helpless about - the inability to do almost a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for myself. And the health care practitioners can have such an effect on this. Nurse Ratched puts all call buttons and things almost beyond my reach and refuses to pay any attention. Unfortunately she is my nurse again today and I'm determined to take it easy today. I will be working my ass off starting tomorrow and I want to rest up today and save energy. I'm sure this will be in direct opposite of what she has planned for me. I could tell I made her mad yesterday when she was on a break and I had another nurse help me back to bed. She would have preferred me up all day - but it's just too exhausting after a while. Plus, then my leg hangs down and my whole leg swells up.

Speaking of breaks - they gave me my xrays yesterday. I'm going to see if I can find someone to scan the pics and then post them 'cause, yep, just as I suspected, I really did a number. No *phhtt* mere sprain for this patient!

And other thoughts.

I happened to overhear my room mate and a nurse talking about Pride and Prejudice and how much they both loved it. Well, as you can only imagine, I could hardly wait until I had a chance to talk about a certain other well know British miniseries.

Well, when the opportunity arose, talk it up I did! I showed them a couple of the clips from YouTube. Marilyn, my roommate was so interested that when she was released from the hospital to go home, she was planning on stopping at a video store on the way home to get a copy. While she has something entirely different from me, she has a lot of time on her hands. One never knows when an opportunity to do some Crusading might come up and one must be prepared at all times.

And speaking of Crusaders, it entirely slipped my mind to mention our latest one. It's been a while now but author Julie James was smitten recently. I saw on Twitter she was watching it and then she blogged about North and South - and voila - Crusader.

And now the most bizarre thing of all. I think I may have just met a gentleman friend. Yesterday Marilyn, my room mate left and I was left on my own for a while. Then later last night, after spending quite sometime cleaning up the other side of the room, I was just nodding off and heard them moving someone else into the room. It didn't take long before I realized it was a male voice I was hearing. That kind of made me feel a bit odd I'll be honest and say. But he sounded very friendly from across the curtain. I heard the nurse asking him about himself and he said he was a widower; his wife passed away suddenly slightly over a year ago. I gathered that he was close in age to me.

Anyway, we've be chatting away quite a bit today - he's headed to the same rehab hospital I am in a few days. He is indeed a very nice man and speaks very lovingly of his wife and children. We seem to have an amazing amount similar in common.

And final thought. I'm going to need some stuff when I go to the rehab hospital. Unlike here, we will be getting showered and dressed first thing in the morning. And we are supposed to have slippers. But I don't really have a lot of casual, workout type clothes or slippers. And there was also other stuff I needed like soap and shampoo and socks and stuff. I knew Ryan would be useless at getting a lot of this so I asked him if he thought his girlfriend would mind. Good move Kristie! I think he was thrilled I would ask if she would, she was thrilled that I wanted her help and I was thrilled that I could bond with her over something so simple. So she came up to see me this afternoon to get a list of what I needed. I also asked her to bring up some books I had at home. Books that looked interesting to her since I would have been interCested in any of them at the time since I bought them :-)

So there we go - the latest report from the one legged romance reader

updates, updates, updates

I got a bit of disappointing news today. I thought I'd be going to the rehab hospital sometime this afternoon, but there won't be a bed open until Monday, so here I will be until then.

And further to my Nurse Ratched story, I think they must already know about her since as soon as I mentioned my nickname, the other nurses would nod slightly and smile and say you aren't the only one. As I was doing my daily hall walk, the physiotherapist was saying how pleased she was with the progress I've been making and said did I know who might be partially responsible. It was with grumpiness that I answered, yes, I knew and doesn't that fact just stick in my craw.

But

Back to the beginning. As we left off, the paramedics and firefighters were working as a team to get me out. One of the paramedics put a stablizing boot on my leg and right away set me up to have some very nice morphine run through me, even though I was ticked that he suggested it might only be sprain. I knew it was broken and was trying to think of a way to explain how I knew it was broken the other day when friends were visiting. You know how you hold a chicken leg or wing up and the bone is broken and it kind of dangles and just looks broken and has that funny sound? Well, that was my leg - so I knew it was. Now that you've all gone 'eewww - thanks for tha-at,' you might know why I was so indignant.

The morphine continued to drip all the way to the hospital and since I was feeling less and less pain, I started looking around the ambulance figuring this kind of opportunity didn't happen that often. The paramedic wanted me to keep looking in his eyes, but as there was no 'connection' between us, I was more curious than wanting to be soulful. Much of this is a blur, but I vaguely remember coming to a stop and getting out and someone asking if that was my son there. As I stared around at all the people looking at me, I couldn't see him and since they didn't say which son, I thought maybe they meant someone else. Nevertheless, I sat up and smiled and waved at the crowd anyway. I heard a few chuckles, waved harder and smiled brighter, but they made me lie down again.

I kind of sort of remembering them to tell me to stay still and they were going to give me more morphine - kewl I thought and tried asking why as I had an IV. Somehow they knew what I was asking since they said it would react faster by giving it directly. Kewl I thought.

Then Lisa and Ryan (that's the son they meant) and I were waiting in ER. Time had no meaning but I do remember a guy in a bed a couple of beds down brought in by the cops and using the word fuckin' as a verb, adverb, noun, pronoun, adjective, comma, semi:colon, question mark - just about every which way he could in an effort to get the cops to release him from his handcuffs and fight him. He was screaming it at them. I'm sure they heard him over a block away. They didn't let him go, but apparently his meds kicked in eventually as we didn't hear him anymore and I kept seeing men with very short hair and uniforms on walking around. When I asked Lisa in a stage whisper if they were the cops, she said yes - and shhhhhh.

Apparently I was quite entertaining as I was lying there on the stretcher and kept sitting up and trying to join in the conversations the doctors and nurses were having around the ER desk, I don't remember too much, but I do remember then looking at me, laughing and saying we aren't laughing AT you, we are laughing with you. Since I do remember thinking it odd that I would be laughing when I had a BROKEN leg, still I must have bought their explanation.

Eventually it was my turn for them to do........something. I didn't remember what or why - this next bit explains it:

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

I was really floating in a most peculiar way. I've never been a screamer - not when it comes to sex - though I always wondered what would be that good that would make me want to scream, not when I get angry - unless it's very, very, vary angry, but I distinctly remember what happened next. It was time to get X-rays - that's what time it was and they had to poke at my leg - my broken chicken leg leg and I let LOOSE. It hurt. I think Lisa looked at me and tried to get me stop screaming - but it HURT dammit and I was gonna scream if I wanted to - and by jove I wanted to!! But then the 'nice' Kristie, rather than the emotional Krisite took over - thinking it was probably uncomfortable for those waiting for treatment, not to hear this woman screaming at the top of her lungs. As well as Xraying my leg, they were also putting it into a splint - I think that's why I was screaming and again, it's vague - but they did have to do it twice I think as the first time the splint wasn't long enough. And I do remember them wanting me to sign something to agree to surgery and what would happen if I didn't sign it.

And I will have to ask Lisa and Ryan but I don't think it's my imagination that I asked if they were going to operate with me naked or whether I'd have something on - since I think at some point they cut off my underpants. I was assured that I would be covered. And I asked if they would be laughing at my ugly naked body and was told, no, they don't do that kind of thing. Oh, I think they do I must have said - I've seen it on TV.

And I also know that I asked to speak to the anesthesiologiststs - though it took me a long time to get that word out - for a meeting with him so that we could arrange a secret sign in case I had anesthesia awareness. But either I didn't meet the anesthesiologist or he wouldn't cooperate as we didn't get that signal worked out before going under the knife. All I do remember is a rather huffy denial that such a thing would happen.

Well - there's still more to come, but so far I've had rather a trying day so it's time to end now - in the good part!

I met my Nurse Rached today

Nurse Mildred Ratched is the main antagonist from Ken Kesey's 1962 novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, as well as the 1975 film.

A cold, sadistic and passive-aggressive tyrant, Nurse Ratched has become the stereotype of the nurse as a battle axe. She has also become a popular metaphor for the corrupting influence of power and authority in bureaucracies such as the mental institution in which the novel is set.

Contents

In the novel

Nurse Mildred Ratched is the head administrative nurse at the Salem, Oregon State (Mental) Hospital, where she exercises near-absolute power over the patients' access to medications, privileges, and basic necessities such as food and toiletries. She capriciously revokes these privileges whenever a patient displeases her. Her superiors turn blind eyes because she maintains order, keeping the patients from acting out, either through antipsychotic and anticonvulsant drugs or her own brand of "therapy", which consists mostly of humiliating patients into doing her bidding. Her greatest success is the stuttering, suicidal Billy Bibbit, who is so terrified of her that he does whatever she says.

When Randle McMurphy arrives at the hospital, however, her dictatorial rule is nearly toppled: he flouts her precious rules with impunity, and inspires other patients to follow. Her attempts to cow him into submission — at first with threats and mild punishments, then with shock therapy — are unsuccessful, serving only to fuel his defiance.

Eventually McMurphy sneaks his prostitute girlfriend into the asylum, and encourages her to relieve Billy of his virginity. Ratched threatens to tell Billy's mother about the transgression. Since Billy fears his mother as much or more than he fears Ratched, the threat frightens him into committing suicide. Enraged, McMurphy attacks Ratched, and nearly chokes her to death.

In retribution, Ratched has McMurphy lobotomized. Another patient, Chief Bromden, the narrator of the book, later smothers McMurphy as a mercy killing. However, while Ratched's main antagonist has been removed, McMurphy has the last laugh, as her control over the other patients is gone, because he permanently damaged her vocal cords when he choked her, in effect destroying the primary tool she used to enforce her will. She can no longer speak, at least not very well, and often must write notes to communicate. With Ratched crippled, she can no longer intimidate the other patients, and the institution is saved.

It looks like I'll be moving to a new hospital today. This new one is just across the street and I have 'people' there too - it helps to work in the system. This new hospital is a rehabilitive one and I was supposed to meet with a representative yesterday to see if I qualified - too 'well' to be at this one, but not 'well' enough to go home. I knew things would be 'off' yesterday morning though when I first met the am nurse when she showed up for her shift around 6:30 shift. I adore the nurse/case managers I work for and this adoration is now spreading to the nursing staff here. They are wonderfully warm, caring people who manage to retain their dignity and patience and professionalism through some real tough times. But this nurse in particular yesterday didn't introduce herself - the first time that's happened in over the week I've been here. I knew there would be issues after the first intro:

Her: Debra, it's time to get up

Me: Actually, my name is really Kristie, My first name is Debra but I go by Kristie.

Her: But it says Debra on your chart.

Me: Yes, but I don't go by that name and if you call my by it, chances are I won't answer since I have'd used it since I was two -well over 50 years now.

Her: Well then, Kris,

Me: No, it's Kris-tie {thinking - don't fuckin' argue with me over my name at 0-7-00 in the fuckin' morning when I had about 2 hours sleep due to a patient melt down the night before that lasted most of the night!}

Anyway - later on in the morning, this occupational therapist said he would be back to see me and see how far I progressed. I pressed my call button and Nurse Rached came in and before I finished explaining that I wanted help cleaning up since I looked awful and smelled worse, muttered something and turned around and left!!

She came back about half an hour later but I didn't know was going to do this, and said, all right, let's get you clean and ready. Walk to the washroom/shower stall. (it's about 30 feet away)

Me: I haven't walked half that distance yet!!

Her: Well, your going to have to if you go to Parkwood. They won't let you just sit around.

Me: I know that, but I've been working with physiotherapists and we are just getting started. I haven't walked close to that far - it's not that I'm trying to get out of it I just haven't done it with the people I'm working with.

Her: Don't be silly. We have most of our patients walking a lot further than this by the second day.

Me: Smoke starting to come out my ears - fine, I'll try it, but I hope they don't come too soon after we are done, and I don't have the energy to show them what I can do since you've already tired me out.

I reached out for her arm to help steady myself, but she pulled it away, saying they won't allow me that kind of help at Parkwood, I manage to get on my feet and shuffle to the washroom/shower stall.

Then - doesn't she bloody stay and shower me!!! She wouldn't let me have help walking to it, but sitting down on the bench where I can do it myself, she's the one holding the shower head - and won't let go! And gets soap in my eyes.

Finally we are done, I'm back in my bare assed gown - oh - and I should say at this point she wanted us to start our journey while they guy was walking around the room picking up breakfast dishes and putting clean sheets and stuff away. These hospital gowns are BACKLESS and while a good deal of my natural dignity has had to go down the drain, that does NOT mean I want to moon the food guy!

I'm sitting, arms crossed in my gown in the bathroom and ask if she can please get the wheel chair I can get into once I walk to it - hey - I'm willing to cooperate.

Her: I don't know where it is.

Me: Well, perhaps you could look for it.

Her: They are going to make you walk at Parkwood

Me:(why are we going over this same conversation all over again???) Yes, I know - and I will be ready and willing to work, but right now I'm exhausted. I've walked twice as far as I have yet, I had a shower which took a lot out of me and I don't want to be overtired when they get here.

Her: Well, the least you could do is try it. And then if you can't make it, I'll look for the wheel chair.

Knowing this is as much as she'll concede, I say fine. About halfway there, I'm exhausted, my leg is hurting as much as it has since I've first arrived and my other leg is really starting to hurt. I stopped.

Her: what are you doing?

Me: I'm stopping. Really, I have reached the end. I can't breathe and I hurt all over.

It is at this point I realize Nurse Rached has no intention of helping me out. She is in a power game and she will not allow herself to loose. My only choices are to stand there or somehow hope I can dig deep into everything I have and make it. I have enough fury in me to make it. Then when I'm in bed, almost crying from pain she said,' see - you didn't need to get prissy!'

I thought my room mate was going to see me commit murder if I hadn't bee so exhausted. Honestly - I NEVER get that mad.

Oh - and bitch spiked my medication. She slipped me an enema pill that kicked in at the end of the day and kept me on the toilet for over an hour. Mind you, I felt mighty cleansed after.

And the physio people showed up about 1/2 an hour after Nurse Rached left the room and I couldn't do what I needed to to. Thankfully they gave me credit for the morning's workout and came back again in the afternoon and I did very well they said. The physiotherapist gave me an orange popsicle and said only her best patients got popsicles.

Coming to you from the Lovely London Hospital

And thank you Lisa for the update. I don't know how lucid I will be as at the moment I'm enjoying the lovely side effects of major painkillers like morphine and percocets and being very damned glad we have free health care in this country.

Yes indeed, I did fight the war and plywood won. Last Tuesday morning - not yesterday but a week ago yesterday I was rushing down the stairs and neglected to move the plywood at the bootom, followed by 2 cdn flags and a full size plywood door and just step over the one piece. HA!! An accident waiting to happen it was. I tripped and fell and RIGHT AWAY knew I'd broken my leg in a couple of places - NOT like one of the paramedics suggested and sprained my foot!! It was about 7:45 and Brent was working a 12 hour shift that day. I was down for the day I tell you, COULD NOT MOVE AT ALL. Around 10:30 shock started hitting and and I got a very good case of the shakes. And all I had on was underpants. I don't normally call it that word - I use underWEAR but I don't wan't anyone thinking I had a bra on. It was downstairs in the dryer I didn't mke it to along with all my other clothes. So I managed to pull the candadian flags down and wrap them around myself trying to keep warm while I watited and prayed for someone to show up. 'Cause it was cold and I hAD THE shakes even though it was one of the hottest days of the year. In between waves of pain, I was thinking this would make a great story - me losing the battle to plywood, me wrapped up in not 1 but 2 good old patriotic Canadian flags to try and keep warm until help arrived. I did hear the lawn care guy and started yelling at one point. But I had the air on and they had their mowers on and didn't hear me.

But finally around 1:30 an angel arrived. You see, the phone had been ringing all morning, but since I had a BROKEN LEG I couldn't answer it. They had been worried about me at work since I hadn't called in sick - I aways do that and they were just about to call a meeting with HR to see about sending someone over to see if I was OK. (have a meeting? I dearly loved this place I work but they are meeting crazy. Allison said screw it - it was lunch hour and she was just going to drive over. Thankfully Brent hadn't left the door locked when he left for work and she heard me screaming and she just walked right in!! After asking her if she could get me a cigarette - it had been some long trying hours, though I've decided now is th perfect time to quit, I asked her to call an ambulance, that I couldn't move my leg and I'd broken it and asked her to get my my housecoat so I could at least cover the Canadian Flags when the paramedics arrived. I'm not sure how long it took, but it didn't seem long at all. Sadly though, they decided that I was in such a situation (bottom of the stairs, couldn't move, broken leg, that they would have to call the firemen. Did they have to I asked?? I mean they would probably see stuff that I didn't want complete strangers to see! The one paramedic answered they'd seen just about all of it, at which I replied probably so, but they hadn't seen mine! Pain was most likely making me mouthy. SIX firemen showed up - note firemen - not firewomen who could relate to the humiliations of being caught with no drawers on and no bra - I mean just drawers - drawers are undepants aren'y they. I didn't notice if any of them were gorgesous or not - the firemen - ntot the drawers or bras. I was next to naked, wrapped up in two Canadian flags and in quite severe pain. Though I do remember thinking one slightly resembeled Tiger Woods - with a MUCH better hair style. I' ve always thought Tigers hair was missing something and just a very meh style. Now of course we realize it was a brain to go under that hat.

|But - this is too good a story to write all in one night and the really good meds are obviously showing their disavantages. But I'm back blogging and will finish up next time!

Absense Alert!!!
This is KristieJ's sister guest-blogging. Many of you who follow Kristie's blog will have heard about the return of her #1 son and the battle of Kristie's cats vs. the plywood. The cat was winning but I am very sad to report that there has been collateral damage in the ongoing battle and the collateral damage is Kristie. The other day she was going downstairs to get some laundry out of the dryer and came face to face with the enemy - "Plywood". She attempted to be nice and politely move "Plywood" out of her way but "Plywood" was stubborn and wouldn't move much. She then attempted to step over "Plywood", which, if she had only taken a moment to realize exactly what family she is from, would have struck her as a particularly bad idea. You see the deep, dark secret of our family is that we are a family of klutz's. Not just your ordinary klutz's but the doing ourselves some serious harm type of klutz's. We have all learned through bitter experience that you do NOT hand any one of us a knife - we will somehow figure out a way to cut outselves during the hand-over. Unfortulately, Kristie must have been distracted and not thinking straight for she attempted to step OVER "Plywood". I would like to think that "Plywood" being much smarter than a block of wood, jumped out and tripped our intrepid heroine but alas, being of the same clan as I, I can assure you that Kristie slipped on "Plywood", fell in a heap and broke her leg in two places. She ended up having to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. She is fine now - she's had to have surgery to repair the damage and she's recovering in the hospital at the moment. She should be home very soon. She asked me to let her "blog buddies" know that she won't be blogging for a few days. The bad news is that she's going to be out of commission for 8 weeks or so. The good news is that she'll have lots of time to read and blog once she's home. I mentioned that she might have time to get through her TBR pile but she just laughed. I amended this to - maybe half of the TBR pile - still a laugh. But she should be able to make a good dent in it. I'll leave it up to Kristie to tell you all the (in hind sight) hilarious details of her fall in her own quirky, humorous way - I don't want to steal any of her thunder. Suffice to say that she'll have you rolling on the floor laughing. I expect she should be back blogging in a couple of days. If anything else happens I'll log back in and let you all know but in the meantime I know she has all your good thoughts and well wishes. And thank goodness this happened AFTER she got to all her romance conventions.

KristieJ's Sister

P.S. I think we'll have to say that "Plywood" has won the battle but Kristie will end up winning the war. And I have personally told Son # 1 that if "Plywood" has not vacated the premises by the time Kristie gets home I will personally rip it down, tear it apart with my bare hands and have a huge bonfire in the front yard.